British slang is some of the most descriptive, colorful, and diverse slang out there. You’ve likely heard it in movies, read it in books, or even seen it used by some of your favorite characters on TV.
Nowhere does British slang shine quite as brightly as in their brilliant insults. We’ve pulled together a list of British slang insults that will amaze you with their wit.
British Slang Insults (in Alphabetical Order)
A
A Biscuit Short of a Packet
Meaning:
- (Expression): A British expression that means someone is either stupid or crazy. It can also indicate someone is behaving strangely/illogically.
- Example: “My nan is a biscuit short of a packet, but she’s still a sweet lady.”
A Face Like Chewed Up Toffee
Meaning:
- (Expression): British slang loves to call people ugly. This expression is one particularly vivid way of doing just that.
- Example: “I could never date her. She has a face like chewed up toffee!”
A Few Sandwiches Short of a Picnic
Meaning:
- (Expression): If you’re from the US, you’ve probably heard someone described as “a few sandwiches short of a picnic” before. This one is just like saying someone is a biscuit short of a packet and can be used similarly.
Airy Fairy
Meaning:
- (Noun): Someone who is physically weak.
- Example: “Don’t expect him to help carry your luggage – he’s an airy fairy.”
Arse/Arsehole
Meaning:
- (Noun): The British equivalent of “ass” or “asshole.” Can be used to describe an idiot or a jerk.
- Example: “My ex-boyfriend is a complete arse.”
Arse-licker
Meaning:
- (Noun): If you live in the US, you’ve probably heard the phrase “brown noser.” Arse-licker has the same meaning: someone who debases themselves for another person in authority for some sort of benefit.
- Example: “He’s an arse-licker, constantly bending over backwards for the boss.”
Arsemonger
Meaning:
- (Noun): A person worth looking down upon for various reasons.
- Example: “He’s an arsemonger. Don’t waste your time looking up to him.”
B
Babe
Meaning:
- (Noun): You can use this to refer to a person affectionately, but you can also use it sarcastically to turn it into an insult.
Beastly
Meaning:
- (Adjective): Something that is horrible.
- Example: “Ugh, you’ve got beastly breath, mate.”
Bellend
Meaning:
- (Noun): An idiot. It’s also a common slang term for penis.
- Example: “Alexander is such a bellend. I have no idea how he made it into Uni.”
Berk
Meaning:
- (Noun): Another word for idiot.
Billy No-Mates
Meaning:
- (Noun): Someone who doesn’t have any friends.
- Example: “Look at Billy No-Mates over there, drinking all by his lonesome.”
Blasted
Meaning:
- (Adjective): Something that has gone horribly awry.
- Example: “Her blasted speech was a nightmare to listen to.”
Blighter
Meaning:
- (Noun): A person who is constantly screwing things up.
- Example: “You blighter – you just spilled my tea on my laptop!”
Bloody Toe Rag
Meaning:
- (Noun): Someone who is completely useless.
- Example: “Don’t just stand there, you bloody toe rag – help me!”
Bollocks
Meaning:
- (Adjective): The British word for testicles. It’s commonly used to describe something bad or as an exclamation that’s similar in nature to, “crap.”
- Example: “Your argument was bollocks.”
Botch
Meaning:
- (Verb): To mess something up or do a terrible job.
- Example: “He botched his report, and now the boss is thinking about canning him.”
Bugger Off
Meaning:
- (Expression): A phrase you use to tell someone to leave you alone.
- Example: “Bugger off – I’m trying to eat.”
C
Cack-Handed
Meaning:
- (Adjective): Doing something inefficiently.
- Example: “He fixed our car in a cack-handed way.”
Chav
Meaning:
- ((Noun): Low in class. Someone who’s trashy. You may want to avoid using this one, as it has a connection to the Romani people and can be racist in nature.
Chavtastic
Meaning:
- (Adjective): Something that is incredibly trashy.
Cheeky Monkey
Meaning:
- (Noun): This is what you call someone who’s being devious. It can also be affectionate when applied to a close friend or child who’s misbehaving a little bit.
- Example: “Stop playing with your food, you cheeky monkey!”
Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey
Meaning:
- (Noun): Insulting term you can use to refer to French people. There’s some debate over whether or not this is actually British, or if it was first used in The Simpsons.
Chuffer
Meaning:
- (Noun): While this is a very versatile term, it’s most often used to reference someone who brags too much. In other words, someone who talks the talk but can’t walk the walk.
- Example: “My boyfriend is a chuffer. He says he’s good in bed, but I can tell you he’s lying.”
Cock Up
Meaning:
- (Noun): A wreck or mess. Something that it is in total disarray.
- Example: “John, your hair’s a cock up right now. Maybe you should look in the mirror.”
D
Daft
Meaning:
- (Adjective): When you describe someone as “daft,” you’re telling them that they’re unintelligent.
- Example: “That was a daft move, Ed.”
Daft as a Bush
Meaning:
- (Expression): Basically just means “dumb as a bush.” A colorful way of calling someone an idiot.
- Example: “My brother is daft as a bush. He doesn’t even know how to change a light bulb.”
Daft Cow
Meaning:
- (Noun): A large and unintelligent woman.
- Example: “Sherry is a daft cow who always messes up my order.”
Dead from the Neck Up
Meaning:
- (Expression): Another colorful way of calling someone stupid. You can use it similarly to how you’d say, “daft as a bush.”
Death Warmed Up
Meaning:
- (Expression): When you use this, you’re telling someone they look horrible or disorderly.
- Example: “What’s wrong? You look like death warmed up.”
Dick
Meaning:
- (Noun): A jerk or a fool. Treat this one like bellend.
Dive
Meaning:
- (Noun): Location that’s messy, trashy, or low in quality. It’s similar to how you’d call a place a dump in the US.
- Example: “That pub’s a dive. Don’t waste your time there.”
Dodgy
Meaning:
- (Adjective): Of questionable character. Someone or something that you can’t trust.
- Example: “He’s a dodgy businessman who sells knock-off pocket watches to tourists.”
Dog’s Dinner
Meaning:
- (Expression): Something that is a disaster or mess. Treat this one like cock up.
Dragged Through a Hedge Backwards
Meaning:
- (Expression): Another British phrase that simply means someone is looking ugly. It’s like saying death warmed up.
E
Eejit
Meaning:
- (Noun): Accented way of pronouncing the word idiot. You can say this one any time you’d otherwise call someone an idiot.
F
Face Like a Bucket of Smashed Crabs
Meaning:
- (Expression): You can use this to call someone unattractive.
Face Like a Bulldog Chewing a Wasp
Meaning:
- (Expression): If you’re looking for another colorful way to insult someone’s looks, you can use this phrase.
Face Like a Stuntman’s Knee
Meaning:
- (Expression): Another expression used to indicate that someone is ugly.
Fanny Adams
Meaning:
- (Adjective): Use this one to describe something that’s outdated or negligible.
- Example: “Robert’s got fanny Adams for brains.”
Fop/Foppish
Meaning:
- (Noun): Men who are overly obsessed with their looks or prissy.
- Example: “That fop won’t stop checking himself out in the mirror.”
G
Gannet
Meaning:
- (Noun): A way to describe someone who is way too greedy.
- Example: “My sister is a gannet who hopes to marry a rich man.”
Get Bent
Meaning:
- (Expression): Another phrase that tells someone to leave you alone. You can say it any time you would say, “bugger off.”
Git
Meaning:
- (Noun): A fool or idiot.
Gone Out and Left the Lights On
Meaning:
- (Expression): A phrase that describes someone who’s unintelligent or crazy. This is equivalent to a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
Gone to Shambles
Meaning:
- (Expression): When something or someone has been completely wrecked.
- Example: “Annie has gone to shambles since I left her. Poor thing.”
Gone to the Dogs
Meaning:
- (Expression): Another way to describe something or someone that has been destroyed.
Gormless
Meaning:
- (Adjective): A word to describe someone who can’t pay attention or someone who’s completely clueless.
- Example: “Your gormless twit – that’s a toaster, not an oven!”
H
Hell’s Bells
Meaning:
- (Exclamation): An exclamation that essentially means “oh, my god.” You can use it to express joy, exhaustion, or frustration.
- Example: “Hell’s bells, Ben, you’re the biggest eejit I know.”
K
Knob/Knob Head
Meaning:
- (Noun): Synonymous to bellend. It can be used to refer to a penis or to someone who’s a jerk.
L
Laugh Like a Drain
Meaning:
- (Expression): A laugh that can only be described as loud and annoying.
- Example: “I try not to tell her too many jokes because she’s got a laugh like a drain.”
Lazy Sod
Meaning:
- (Noun): An idiot who also has the privilege of being useless and unhelpful. Use it like you would say bloody toe rag.
Let Down
Meaning:
- (Noun): A person or thing who’s a complete disappointment.
- Example: “Meeting my hero was a bloody let down.”
Ligger
Meaning:
- (Noun): Someone who freeloads.
- Example: “My brother-in-law is a ligger who lives on my sofa.”
Like a Dog with Two Dicks
Meaning:
- (Expression): A promiscuous man.
- Example: “He sleeps with a new woman every night. He’s like a dog with two dicks.”
Little Basket
Meaning:
- (Noun): An upper-class, delicate way of calling someone a bastard.
Load of Shite
Meaning:
- (Noun): Someone or something that’s full of crap.
- Example: “That movie was a load of shite and you know it.”
Lose Your Marbles
Meaning:
- (Expression): When someone has seemingly gone crazy or lost their common sense.
- Example: “Jenna, have you lost your marbles? You can’t marry someone you just met yesterday.”
Lost the Plot
Meaning:
- (Expression): This is essentially another way of saying “lost your marbles.”
Lummox
Meaning:
- (Noun): Someone who is either clumsy or stupid.
- Example: “Don’t step on my toe, you bloody lummox!”
M
Mad as a Bag of Ferrets
Meaning:
- (Expression): A way to describe an individual who is crazy or has no common sense.
- Example: “My best friend is mad as a bag of ferrets and wears a literal tinfoil hat.”
Mad as a Box of Frogs
Meaning:
- (Expression): Alternative way of saying, “mad as a bag of ferrets.”
Mad as a Hatter
Meaning:
- (Expression): Another variation on “mad as a bag of ferrets/box of frogs.”
Maggot
Meaning:
- (Noun): Someone who is worthless, disgusting, or worthy of scorn. This one is kind of like bloody toe rag.
Manky
Meaning:
- (Adjective): Say this when you want to describe something that’s gross.
- Example: “She has a manky smell. Someone needs to talk to her about hygiene.”
Mardy
Meaning:
- (Adjective): A person who’s overly pampered and privileged.
- Example: “That mardy expects me to make her breakfast in bed every morning.”
Mingebag
Meaning:
- (Noun): Flexible word that can mean someone who’s stingy or just an all-around despicable individual.
Minger
Meaning:
- (Noun): A woman who’s very ugly.
- Example: “Should I put, ‘no mingers’ on my dating profile?”
Mouth Like a Torn Pocket
Meaning:
- (Expression): Someone who has a mouth like a torn pocket is a gossip. You can’t trust them to keep their mouth shut, and everything they know just falls right out their mouth.
- Example: “Don’t tell her anything delicate – she has a mouth like a torn pocket.”
Munter
Meaning:
- (Noun): Another word to describe an unattractive woman or person.
Muppet
Meaning:
- (Noun): An unintelligent person or someone who can’t think for themselves.
- Example: “Don’t be a muppet, Willy – do some research instead of believing everything you see.”
N
Naff
Meaning:
- (Adjective): Something that’s gaudy or trashy.
- Example: “Has anyone told you that your new sweater is rather naff?”
Ninny
Meaning:
- (Noun): Someone who’s an intellectual but is otherwise physically weak.
- Example: “He may be a genius, but he’s still a ninny.”
Nitwit
Meaning:
- (Noun): A fool.
Not Batting on a Full Wicket
Meaning:
- (Expression): This is used to describe someone who’s missing a little common sense or crazy. It’s just like saying they’re a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
Not Cricket
Meaning:
- (Expression): When someone is being dodgy or lying.
Not the Full Shilling
Meaning:
- (Expression): Another way of saying someone is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
Not the Sharpest Knife in the Drawer
Meaning:
- (Expression): This is another euphemism for someone who’s not entirely mentally present, just like not the full shilling.
Numpty
Meaning:
- (Noun): A softer, more playful term to use when you want to call someone an idiot. You might use this with your friends, for example, as opposed to someone you actually want to insult.
- Example: “My friend may be a silly numpty, but he’s still my mate.”
Nutter
Meaning:
- (Noun): A crazy person. You would use this similar to how you’d say “lunatic” in the United States.
- Example: “Don’t listen to that nutter. He’s been whispering to himself for the past hour.”
O
Off Your Rocker
Meaning:
- (Expression): When someone is “off their rocker,” they’ve gone insane. Treat this one like saying “lost your marbles.”
P
Pig Ugly
Meaning:
- (Adjective): This one’s kind of obvious – it just means that someone is as ugly as a pig!
Pillock
Meaning:
- (Noun): This term also means idiot.
Piss Off
Meaning:
- (Expression): Go away or leave me alone. It’s like bugger off.
Plonker
Meaning:
- (Noun): There are a lot of British slang words for idiot – plonker is another one!
Ponce
Meaning:
- (Noun): Someone who expects things for free. It’s synonymous with ligger.
Posh
Meaning:
- (Adjective): Posh can be an insult or a compliment. It’s applied to upper-class people, and used as an insult, it means that they’re uppity, conceited, or over-privileged.
- Example: “Don’t pretend you’re too posh for the pub. You know you love it.”
Poxy
Meaning:
- (Noun): Apply this word to anyone or anything that’s undesirable, junky, or low in quality.
- Example: “Her ‘friendship’ is a poxy on my existence.”
Prat
Meaning:
- (Noun): A nice, efficient way to call someone a fool.
Pug-Ugly
Meaning:
- (Adjective): This is an alternative version of pig-ugly in which you’re calling your target ugly as a pug.
Q
Quack
Meaning:
- (Noun): Someone who’s a phony or who’s deceiving other people.
- Example: “That weight loss ‘doctor’ is a quack. Don’t bother with their new fad diet.”
R
Rank
Meaning:
- (Adjective): Someone or something that smells awful.
- Example: “Hell’s bells, you smell rank. Go take a bath.”
Rubbish
Meaning:
- (Noun): Someone or something that doesn’t make any sense.
- Example: “Whatever you just said is complete rubbish.”
S
S*** fer Brains
Meaning:
- (Expression): A way to describe someone who’s a total fool.
Scrubber
Meaning:
- (Noun): A woman who is both promiscuous and classless.
Skiver
Meaning:
- (Noun): Someone who is lazy or worthless. You can treat it like you would the phrase “bloody toe rag.”
Slag
Meaning:
- (Noun): Extremely offensive word for a promiscuous woman. This one is considered quite vulgar, so be careful with it.
Slapper
Meaning:
- (Noun): Synonymous to scrubber. A whore.
Sod
Meaning:
- (Noun): A gentler, “nicer” way of calling someone an idiot – kind of like saying numpty.
T
Take the Mickey
Meaning:
- (Expression): To joke about something at someone’s expense.
- Example: “Are you taking the mickey or are you being serious?”
Taking the Piss
Meaning:
- (Expression): This one means exactly the same thing as take the mickey.
Throwing a Wobbly
Meaning:
- (Expression): Throwing a tantrum. It’s usually said in reference to children but can be particularly insulting when you apply it to a childish adult.
- Example: “Strop throwing a wobbly and grow up.”
Tosh
Meaning:
- (Noun): Something that makes no sense.
- Example: “That’s a load of tosh.”
Tosser
Meaning:
- (Noun): Another word for idiot or fool.
Learn More: British Slang Tosser Meaning (with Examples)
Trollop
Meaning:
- (Noun): The British equivalent of calling someone a slut.
Twat
Meaning:
- (Noun): A stronger way of referring to someone as a jerk or idiot. The term actually refers to a woman’s genitalia.
Twit
Meaning:
- (Noun): This word also means idiot.
W
Wag Off
Meaning:
- (Expression): A phrase that means the same thing as bugger off or piss off.
Wanker
Meaning:
- (Noun): This common, harsh British phrase also means idiot or jerk.
Wazzock
Meaning:
- (Noun): A less common way to call someone an idiot. Specifically, the implication with this word is that the person won’t ever amount to anything.
Wind-Up Merchant
Meaning:
- (Noun): Someone who excessively teases people.
- Example: “Stop with the incessant pranks, you wind-up merchant!”
Wonky
Meaning:
- (Adjective): This word describes something that’s broken, dysfunctional, or unstable.
- Example: “His brain must be wonky. He always has bloody awful ideas.”
Wrap Up
The next time you’re mentally reaching for a powerful insult, you really can’t go wrong with a British one. British people have had centuries to develop insults that deliver a perfect sting time and time again.
But trading sharp witticisms isn’t the only thing these people excel at. They’ve got a ton of other slang terms that you may want to brush up on before you take a trip to the UK. Read our guide to British slang words and phrases to learn more.
