100 Butt Jokes: Guaranteed to Make You Laugh Out Loud

Welcome to “100 Butt Jokes: Guaranteed to Make You Laugh Out Loud,” the ultimate collection of puns that will have you chuckling, giggling, and snorting with laughter! Butts have always been a source of amusement throughout history, and let’s face it – a little cheeky humor can be the best pick-me-up. Whether you’re having a ‘rump’ day or you’re ‘behind’ on your happiness quota, these jokes are sure to add a bit of light-hearted fun to your routine.

We’re here to celebrate the universal appeal of a good butt joke. After all, humor is about connecting over shared experiences, and everyone has a backside story to tell. These jokes are meticulously crafted to tickle your funny bone without crossing into crass territory, perfect for reading alone with a smirk or sharing with friends for a good belly laugh. From the pun-tastic one-liners to the clever play on words, each joke is a testament to the timeless humor that comes with human anatomy.

Our butts may be the butt of jokes, but they’re also unsung heroes. They support us in our daily sits, they walk us through life’s challenges, and they’re with us through thick and thin. So why not give a little back with some laughter? Whether you’re looking for a giggle-inducing icebreaker or simply a fan of good old-fashioned toilet humor, you’ve come to the right place.

So, pull up a seat (carefully, so as not to squash any potential laugh-induced injuries) and get ready to dive into a list of carefully curated butt jokes that will lighten any mood and bring a smile to your face. Are you ready to turn the ‘tush’ tables on gloom and embrace the lighter side of life? Let’s get cracking!

1. Why did the butt start its own tech company? Because it was tired of being the end user.
2. What did one butt cheek say to the other when they got together? “Together, we can stop this crap.”
3. Why don’t butts make good detectives? They always crack under pressure.
4. Why did the butt apply for a loan? It wanted to change its bottom line.
5. What do you call a butt that’s a great musician? A piano-stool player.
6. Why did the butt go to therapy? It couldn’t get over feeling dumped.
7. What’s a butt’s favorite sport? Squash.
8. Why are butts great for comedy? They’re always the butt of the joke.
9. What do you get when you cross a butt with a computer? A machine that has a lot of memory but still can’t remember where it left its pants.
10. What did the butt say when it heard a good joke? “You crack me up!”
11. Why did the butt get promoted? Because it was behind most of the company’s success.
12. What do you call an honest butt? Frank-enstein.
13. Why did the butt join the orchestra? It had a talent for trumpeting.
14. How does a butt greet another butt? “Hello, nice to crack you!”
15. Why don’t butts like fast food? It goes right through them.
16. What did the butt say to the joke? “You’re beneath me!”
17. Why was the butt always picked for soccer? Because it was good at kicking off.
18. What does a butt call retirement? The end of the line.
19. Why do butts make bad liars? Because you can see right through their pants.
20. Why was the butt so popular? Because it was the life of the potty.
21. What’s a butt’s favorite drink? Espresso – it keeps things moving.
22. How does a butt maintain a good relationship? By not letting things fester.
23. Why did the butt start a gardening service? Because it knew all about fertilizing.
24. What did the butt say during the workout? “I’m on a roll!”
25. Why did the butt make a good drummer? Because it could beat any sheet.
26. Why did the butt start meditating? To find inner peas.
27. What did one butt say to the other before a race? “May the best cheek win!”
28. Why do butts make good friends? They stand by your behind.
29. Why was the butt a good musician? Because it knew how to hit the bass notes.
30. What’s a butt’s favorite movie? “Gone with the Wind.”
31. Why was the butt so good at history? It always remembers the dates it’s been on.
32. Why did the butt love winter? It was cool with chilling out.
33. Why did the butt sign up for a baking class? To rise to the occasion.
34. What do you call a group of musical butts? An assterpiece.
35. Why was the butt afraid of heights? It didn’t want to fall and crack up.
36. What’s a butt’s least favorite job? A desk job—it never gets to move.
37. What did the butt say to the chair? “You support me in ways I can’t explain.”
38. Why did the butt go to the bar? To get a little tipsy and let loose.
39. What’s a butt’s favorite exercise? The squat – it’s a real bottom burner!
40. Why was the butt so good at yoga? It was very flexible and could hold a pose.
41. What did the butt say to the jeans? “We’re a tight fit, but we can work it out.”
42. Why did the butt want to be an actor? Because it had great backside story.
43. What did the butt say to the diet? “I’m already on a roll reducing.”
44. What’s a butt’s favorite dance move? The bump.
45. Why did the butt start its own bakery? To make dough-nuts.
46. What’s a butt’s favorite holiday? New Year’s Eve, when it can drop the ball.
47. Why did the butt make a good spy? It always stayed low and behind enemy lines.
48. Why don’t butts like minimalist art? There’s nowhere to sit.
49. Why did the butt start a band? Because it had a blast with the brass.
50. Why did the butt subscribe to a streaming service? For the end-less entertainment.
51. What’s a butt’s favorite dessert? Peach pie.
52. Why was the butt so good at chess? It always backed up its moves.
53. What did the butt say to the slide? “This should be a smooth ride!”
54. Why don’t butts like to gossip? They can’t stand spreading rumors.
55. How does a butt compliment someone? “You’re looking glute today!”
56. What’s a butt’s favorite opera? “The Bum of Seville.”
57. Why was the butt a good mediator? It always got to the bottom of the problem.
58. What’s a butt’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop.
59. Why did the butt join the navy? To serve on the rear admiral’s deck.
60. What’s a butt’s least favorite type of chair? A stool.
61. Why did the butt write a book? To add something to the enderstanding of literature.
62. What’s a butt’s favorite exercise? Deadlifts—they’re all about the bottom line.
63. Why do butts make terrible thieves? They always leave prints.
64. What did the butt say on its birthday? “Cheers to another year of cracking up!”
65. Why did the butt start doing stand-up comedy? Because it had a crack for every joke.
66. What’s a butt’s favorite kind of party? A tailgate.
67. Why did the butt apply to art school? To learn how to draw a good rear view.
68. What’s a butt’s favorite vegetable? Squash, because it’s used to being sat on.
69. Why did the butt get an award? For outstanding rear service.
70. What do you call a butt that’s always in a hurry? An ass in a dash.
71. Why did the butt go to the doctor? It had a splitting headache.
72. What’s a butt’s favorite book? “The Old Man and the Seat.”
73. Why did the butt join the police force? To crack down on crime.
74. What do you call a butt who’s a judge? The honorable discharge.
75. Why did the butt volunteer at the school? To help kids get their class in gear.
76. What did the butt say to the skunk? “I appreciate someone who understands a good stink.”
77. Why was the butt afraid to fly? It didn’t want to deal with the jet lag.
78. Why did the butt start a delivery service? Because it was used to carrying loads.
79. What’s a butt’s life motto? “What goes around, comes around.”
80. Why did the butt go to space? To experience zero-gravitas.
81. What’s a butt’s favorite game? Peek-a-boo, because it’s always behind you.
82. Why don’t butts make good secrets keepers? They tend to let things slip.
83. What’s a butt’s favorite science? Biology – it’s always involved in cell division.
84. Why did the butt start a detective agency? It specialized in undercover work.
85. How did the butt greet the new pants? “Pleased to meet you, let’s crack on!”
86. What do you call a philosophical butt? Plato.
87. Why did the butt love nature trails? For the natural beauty and the rest stops.
88. What’s a butt’s favorite ballet? The Nutcracker Suite.
89. Why did the butt go to the pawn shop? It wanted to get a better seat in life.
90. What did the butt say to the gossip? “You’re full of it.”
91. Why was the butt so calm during the storm? It was the eye of the hurricane.
92. What’s a butt’s favorite car feature? Rearview mirrors.
93. Why did the butt go to the bank? To secure its assets.
94. Why do butts love puns? They find them rearsestible.
95. What’s a butt’s favorite activity at the fair? Bumper cars.
96. Why did the butt join the fire department? To put out the hot seats.
97. What did the butt say to the bench? “Can I crash here for a sec?”
98. Why was the butt always a step ahead? It was on the bottom rung.
99. How does a butt answer the phone? “Yellow! Bottom speaking.”
100. What did the butt say to the chair? “You complete me.”