100 Cowboy Jokes: Get Ready to Laugh ‘Til You’re Horse

Howdy, partner! Welcome to “100 Cowboy Jokes: Get Ready to Laugh ‘Til You’re Horse,” the ultimate roundup for anyone lookin’ to add a little giddy-up to their giggle. If your sense of humor is as big as Texas and you’re hankerin’ for a heapin’ helpin’ of hilarity, you’ve moseyed on over to the right place.

Cowboys are the icons of the Old West, known for their rugged charm, quick draw, and even quicker wit. They’ve been the subject of many tales spun around campfires under starry skies, leaving trails of laughter echoing through the canyons. But it ain’t just about the stories; it’s the jokes that keep the cowboy spirit alive in the hearts of those who love the wild, whimsical West.

In this blog, we’ve lassoed not ten, not twenty, but a full century’s worth of the finest cowboy jokes this side of the Mississippi. From the deserts of the Southwest to the prairies of the Midwest, these jokes are bound to tickle your funny bone and have you hollerin’ with laughter. Whether you’re a bona fide buckaroo or a city slicker, these jokes are sure to bring out your inner cowboy.

We’ve got jokes that’ll make you want to slap your knee and hoot with delight, puns sharper than a thorn on a prickly pear, and one-liners faster than a jackrabbit on a hot griddle. So grab your hat, pull up a chair, and prepare to laugh until the cows come home. After all, a day without laughter is like a day without sunshine, and we’re here to make sure your sky’s as blue as a sapphire on a clear day in the West.

1. Why do cowboys always carry a map? Because they never want to be on the wrong side of the “howdy” line!
2. What do you call a cowboy with bad gas? “Darn Tootin'”
3. Why was the cowboy a lot of laughs? He was always horsing around!
4. What’s a cowboy’s favorite car? An Audi partner!
5. How do cowboys like their steak? On the range.
6. Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog? He wanted to get a long little doggy.
7. What do you call a cowboy who helps out on a farm? The “Gallop”ing gardener.
8. Why did the cowboy get a dachshund? Someone told him to “get along little doggie!”
9. What did the cowboy say to the pencil? Draw, partner!
10. Why couldn’t the cowboy play cards? Because he was always on the deck.
11. How do you teach a cowboy to do ballet? With “two-step” instructions.
12. What do you call an old cowboy? Derange.
13. What do cowboys say to their cows at bedtime? “It’s pasture bedtime!”
14. Why are cowboys bad at math? They always shoot the bull.
15. What did the cowboy name his pet frog? Hopper Long Cassidy.
16. Why do cowboys ride horses? Because they’re too heavy to carry!
17. What do you call a cowboy with a sheep under each arm? A wooly bully.
18. Why do cowboys always die with their boots on? So they won’t stub their toes when they kick the bucket.
19. What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
20. Why did the cowboy bring string to the bar? To tie one on.
21. What’s a cowboy’s favorite part of a joke? The punchline dance.
22. Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? He wanted a “long little doggie.”
23. What kind of photos do cowboys take? Shoots!
24. Why don’t cowboys get into fights? They don’t want to get a saddle sore.
25. Why was the cowboy a good chef? He knew how to grill up some “meat and greet.”
26. Why did the cowboy carry a clock? Because it was time for a “draw.”
27. How do cowboys keep their pants up? With a “horsepower” belt.
28. Why did the cowboy always carry a nectarine? Just in case he found himself in a “fruit stand-off.”
29. What do you call a cowboy who is a pie baker? “Pioneer.”
30. Why do cowboys make good journalists? They know how to follow a “lead horse.”
31. Why did the cowboy ride his horse to town? It had more “horse-pitality” than his car.
32. Why are cowboys terrible at laundry? They always mix the darks with the whites and end up with fifty shades of “gray horse.”
33. What’s a cowboy’s favorite magic spell? “Abra-ca-draw-bra.”
34. Why don’t cowboys get lonely? Because they have a lot of “pardners.”
35. What’s a cowboy’s favorite type of music? “Range” and western.
36. Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? Someone told him to get a “long little doggie.”
37. How do you know if a cowboy is a good cook? He can handle the “steer” fry.
38. Why do cowboys have trouble with personal space? They always have to “corral.”
39. What’s a cowboy’s favorite construction tool? A “ranch” wrench.
40. Why did the cowboy put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard “cash.”
41. How do cowboys like their dessert? With lots of “whip.”
42. Why was the cowboy afraid of his shadow? It was too “drawn out.”
43. What did the cowboy say to his new boots? You guys are a “shoe-in.”
44. Why was the cowboy a good dog trainer? He was great at “barking” orders.
45. How do cowboys stay cool? By chilling out at the “saloon-draught.”
46. Why did the cowboy get a job at a deli? He wanted to get a “slice of the action.”
47. What’s a cowboy’s favorite footwear? “Loafer” spurs.
48. Why did the cowboy break up with the internet? It was too much “drama.”
49. What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away? “Well, doggone it!”
50. Why don’t cowboys ever get lost? They always keep a “trail” account.
51. Why do cowboys make terrible soccer players? They think every ball is a tumbleweed.
52. What do you call a cowboy’s lazy horse? Slowboy.
53. Why did the cowboy bring an umbrella? He heard it was raining cats and “hats.”
54. How does a cowboy say goodbye to his horse? “I’ll miss you neigh-ly.”
55. What’s a cowboy’s favorite exercise? The “giddy-up” crunch.
56. Why did the cowboy get a hot tub? He wanted to soak his “boot beans.”
57. What’s a cowboy’s favorite dishware? “Plates” of the Wild West.
58. How did the cowboy become a poet? He was inspired by the “verse” of nature.
59. Why don’t cowboys get haircuts? They prefer to “let it range.”
60. What do you call a bunch of cowboy jokes? A “herd” of laughter.
61. What do cowboys put on their salads? “Ranch” dressing, of course!
62. Why did the cowboy buy a tin can? He wanted to “can-ter.”
63. How do cowboys like their eggs? “Bull’s-eye” up.
64. What do you call a cowboy’s ghost? A “haunting” on horseback.
65. Why did the cowboy ride his horse to the bank? He wanted to make a “quick withdrawl.”
66. What’s a cowboy’s favorite place to eat? The “saddle-lite” café.
67. What do cowboys call their bad dreams? “Buckmares.”
68. Why did the cowboy put his money in the blender? He needed “liquid assets.”
69. What do cowboys use to light their homes? “Candle-lassos.”
70. What’s a cowboy’s favorite vegetable? “Collard” greens.
71. How do cowboys stay informed? They read the “horse-paper.”
72. Why was the cowboy a good detective? He always got his “mane.”
73. Why did the cowboy sleep with his boots on? He wanted to hit the ground running.
74. Why did the cowboy always win at poker? He had a good “poker face” and better “card-sharp” skills.
75. What’s a cowboy’s favorite furniture? The “recliner” saddle.
76. Why did the cowboy get thrown out of the steakhouse? He kept trying to “lasso” the filet mignon.
77. What do cowboys do at the disco? The “line” dance.
78. What’s a cowboy’s favorite type of story? A “tail” of adventure.
79. How do cowboys find their way home? They “follow the herd.”
80. Why was the cowboy good at judo? He knew how to “wrangle” his opponents.
81. What do you call a cowboy with a cough? “Horse” and buggy.
82. How do cowboys keep warm? “Wrangler” blankets.
83. What do you call a cowboy’s dog? “Bark”ing bronco.
84. Why do cowboys avoid elevators? They never want to be “caught in a box canyon.”
85. What do you call a scared cowboy? A “quiver” in boots.
86. How do cowboys write secret messages? With “invisible inkwells.”
87. Why did the cowboy philosopher stay quiet? He was pondering the “mysteries of the prairie.”
88. What do cowboys wear to formal events? “Boot”-tie and tails.
89. What’s a cowboy’s favorite fruit? “Bandana-nas.”
90. Why did the cowboy get a guinea pig? He wanted to try “small game” hunting.
91. What’s a cowboy’s least favorite chore? Cleaning the “barrel” race.
92. Why was the cowboy calculator famous? It was good at “counting” cows.
93. What do you call a cowboy with a law degree? “Jailhouse” counsel.
94. Why did the cowboy get a chicken? For “fowl” play.
95. What do cowboys say at the stock market? “Ride the bull” market.
96. Why did the cowboy become a baker? He was good at “bread”ing herds.
97. What do you call a cowboy who’s good at yoga? The “flexible” bandit.
98. What do you call a cowboy with an itch? “Rash” Cassidy.
99. What’s a cowboy’s favorite swimming stroke? The “back-horse” stroke.
100. Why did the cowboy carry a roll of tape? For “fixing” the breaks in the fence line.