This magician is legendary, he’s really spell-binding!
Why did the magician get a job at the bakery? He needed the dough to disappear!
You think I’m good at magic? It’s just an illusion of your imagination.
What do you call a magician who loses his magic? A “where-did-it-go?”
I had a joke about a broken wand, but it was pointless.
Why don’t magicians play cards in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
Magicians always pull their careers out of a hat.
What kind of magic do cows believe in? Moo-doo!
What do magicians eat? Anything they can make disappear!
Why do magicians do well in school? They’re great at trick questions.
Magicians are always up to trick.
How do you find a missing magician? You use a spell checker.
Don’t trust an atom, they make up everything—unless you’re a magician, then you just make it disappear.
What do you call a magician without an assistant? A solo-cadabra.
Never play cards with a magician, they have too many sleeves up their tricks.
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed by a magician!
I went to a magical seafood restaurant, the food just vanished off the plate!
What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
What do you call a magic formula for success? A spell-check.
Why did the magician break up with the internet? Too many connection tricks!
Why do magicians always do well in school? Because they excel at trick-onometry.
What kind of music do magicians listen to? Wrap music—they love a good spell.
Magicians love spring because they can finally say, “Abril-cadabra!”
How do magicians write their resumes? With invisible ink.
Don’t invite a magician to your game night; they always change the rules by magic.
What’s a magician’s favorite snack? Presto-pretzels.
Magicians’ favorite chocolate? Sleight bars.
Why did the magician become a chef? He was good at saucing things disappear.
What do you call a magician who can’t perform tricks? A magic bluff.
What do magicians eat for breakfast? Poof-poofs!
My magician friend stopped time yesterday, it was a real pause for applause.
What do you call a magic owl? Hoodini.
Magicians hate spirals—they prefer to make things straight disappear.
Why did the magician always carry a stick? To wand-er around.
What do magicians do at hotels? Room service vanishes!
Why did the magician cross the road? To pull a rabbit out of a hat on the other side.
If you date a magician, they might steal your heart—and your watch.
How do you know a magician is really working hard? When you can see the smoke coming out of his hat!
Why do magicians always win at sports? They have the best sleight of hand.
What did the fish say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod!
What’s a magician’s favorite drink? Gin and tonic and trick.
How do magicians organize their schedules? With a sleight planner.
Why are magicians bad at lending books? They always lose the page they’re on.
Why don’t magicians use glue? They stick with spells.
Why do magicians make good weather forecasters? They’re great at predicting fogs and smokes.
Why was the magic tractor famous? It turned into a field!
If you play poker with a magician, you might find yourself dealing with a full house of cards—literally!
What do you get when you cross a magician with a camera? Hocus-focus!
Magicians are like good lawyers, they both change the reality of a situation.
What’s a magician’s favorite game? Hide and speak.
How do magicians travel so fast? They use the expresso spell.
Why don’t magicians like acid? It ruins the pH of their spells.
Why did the magician bring a broom to his show? To sweep the audience off their feet.
What do you call a magic cat? An abra-cat-dabra.
What’s a magician’s favorite part of the joke? The punch line disappears.
How do magicians freshen their breath? With abra-ca-dent-a.
What’s a magician’s favorite dance move? The disco-appear.
Why do magicians wear hats? To keep their hare hidden!
Why did the magician get into trouble? For playing tricks.
What do you call a magician on a plane? A flying sorcerer.
How do magicians get rid of bugs? They scare the be-craft out of them.
Why do magicians make good fishermen? They always have a few tricks up their sleeves.
Why do magicians carry bank notes? For emergency spell bill outs.
How do you get a one-armed magician out of a tree? Wave to him.
Why did the magician use a spell on his book? To make it a bestselling book.
What’s a magician’s favorite place to shop? The vanishing mall.
What do you call a magician in a musical? A show off.
How do magicians prefer their coffee? Black magic.
How do magicians manage their finances? By pulling money out of thin air.
Why don’t magicians use irons? They prefer to steam out the wrinkles magically.
Magicians don’t pass the salt, they make it levitate to you.
What did the magician say to his rabbit? Hop to it, we’ve got a show!
Why was the magician’s insurance claim denied? Too much smoke and mirrors.
Why was the magical notebook expensive? It had a few tricks inside.
Magicians don’t get lost; they just take a detour through another dimension.
What do magicians say to calm down a ghost? “Séance down!”
What’s a magician’s favorite type of investment? A bond that disappears and doubles in value.
Why did the magician always have a clean show? He swept away the dirt.
Why don’t magicians use pens? They prefer to write with wands.
What do magicians drink before a show? Potion-ade.
Magicians’ favorite board game? Trick-tac-toe.
How do magicians send secret messages? Through encrypt-ion.
Why do magicians always carry mirrors? To practice their reflect spells.
What’s a magician’s favorite kitchen appliance? The micro-wave wand.
Magicians don’t retire, they just vanish.
Why did the magician use honey in his act? It was bewitching.
Why did the magician start a gardening service? For all the hedge-trimming tricks.
What do you call a magic competition? A spell-off.
What’s a magician’s favorite place at school? The library—it has the most spells.
What happens when a magician gets mad? He pulls his hare out.
How do magicians stick together? They bond over craft beer.
Why do magicians avoid dairy farms? They don’t want to milk the audience.
Why do magicians always win debates? They know how to make a good counter-spell.
What did the magician wear to the beach? A hat trick.
Magicians don’t go on dates; they go on enchantments.
Why was the magician’s book so captivating? It had spell-binding content.
Why are magicians’ homes so tidy? Everything’s in its craft place.
How do magicians succeed? By pulling opportunities out of their hats.
How do magicians write software? By using code spells.
What did the magician say to the skateboarder? “Board to meet you, let’s flip some tricks!”