Astronaut Puns and Jokes

Why did the astronaut break up with the satellite_ There was too much space between them!

Why did the astronaut break up with the satellite? There was too much space between them!

I need some space to think

I need some space to think.

What kind of music do astronauts listen to_ Neptunes!

What kind of music do astronauts listen to? Neptunes!

This mission could use a little more star power

This mission could use a little more star power.

Why are astronauts always calm_ Because they have the whole universe to explore!

Why are astronauts always calm? Because they have the whole universe to explore!

Let's rocket!

Let’s rocket!

How do you organize a party in space_ You planet

How do you organize a party in space? You planet.

You’ve got a stellar attitude!

You’ve got a stellar attitude!

What do you call an astronaut who farts in a spacesuit_ A gas-tronaut!

What do you call an astronaut who farts in a spacesuit? A gas-tronaut!

I'm over the moon for you!

I’m over the moon for you!

Why did the astronaut go to the bar_ To reach for the stars!

Why did the astronaut go to the bar? To reach for the stars!

Astronauts always stick to their launch time, they don’t planet late.

Astronauts always stick to their launch time, they don’t planet late.

How do astronauts serve dinner_ On flying saucers

How do astronauts serve dinner? On flying saucers.

Trying to organize a party in space_ You have to planet

Trying to organize a party in space? You have to planet.

What do astronauts eat for breakfast_ Launch meat!

What do astronauts eat for breakfast? Launch meat!

I’m no astronaut, but I’d love to explore Uranus

I’m no astronaut, but I’d love to explore Uranus.

What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer_ The space bar

What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.

I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so comet maybe

I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so comet maybe?

Why do astronauts use Linux_ Because you can't open Windows in space!

Why do astronauts use Linux? Because you can’t open Windows in space!

That astronaut doesn’t understand puns; they always go over his helmet

That astronaut doesn’t understand puns; they always go over his helmet.

What’s an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard_ The space bar!

What’s an astronaut’s favorite key on the keyboard? The space bar!

You’re out of this world!

You’re out of this world!

Why did the astronaut become a gardener_ He wanted to experience a different kind of space!

Why did the astronaut become a gardener? He wanted to experience a different kind of space!

It’s not rocket science! Oh wait, it actually is

It’s not rocket science! Oh wait, it actually is.

How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep_ You rocket!

How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rocket!

Being an astronaut is a blast!

Being an astronaut is a blast!

Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space_ Because they've just had a big launch!

Why don’t astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space? Because they’ve just had a big launch!

Time flies when you’re a space traveler

Time flies when you’re a space traveler.

What was the astronaut's favorite game at the carnival_ Moonwalk

What was the astronaut’s favorite game at the carnival? Moonwalk.

Space puns_ Siriusly

Space puns? Siriusly?

What do astronauts put on their toast_ Space jam

What do astronauts put on their toast? Space jam.

Houston, we have a pun

Houston, we have a pun.

What do you call a lovestruck astronaut_ A starry-eyed space cadet

What do you call a lovestruck astronaut? A starry-eyed space cadet.

I'm spaced out today

I’m spaced out today.

How do astronauts keep their pants up_ With asteroid belts

How do astronauts keep their pants up? With asteroid belts.

I'm just not that meteoricrise

I’m just not that meteoricrise.

Why did the sun go to school_ To get brighter, so it could outshine the astronauts!

Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter, so it could outshine the astronauts!

You must be made of dark matter because you’re indescribable

You must be made of dark matter because you’re indescribable.

What do astronauts wear to keep warm_ Apollo-ver sweaters

What do astronauts wear to keep warm? Apollo-ver sweaters.

The astronaut’s favorite key on the keyboard_ The space bar!

The astronaut’s favorite key on the keyboard? The space bar!

Why did the book join NASA_ It wanted to be a shooting star

Why did the book join NASA? It wanted to be a shooting star.

You're a real shooting star in that outfit!

You’re a real shooting star in that outfit!

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend_ He needed more space

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? He needed more space.

Astronauts have a good sense of humor, they always crack up.

Astronauts have a good sense of humor, they always crack up.

How do astronauts decide who to date_ They find someone out of this world!

How do astronauts decide who to date? They find someone out of this world!

Want to know about my life as an astronaut_ It has its ups and downs

Want to know about my life as an astronaut? It has its ups and downs.

What do you call an astronaut’s mistakes_ Human errors

What do you call an astronaut’s mistakes? Human errors.

Are astronauts good at football_ Only in zero-gravity

Are astronauts good at football? Only in zero-gravity.

Why don't astronauts get competitive_ Because they always float above the rest!

Why don’t astronauts get competitive? Because they always float above the rest!

Let's space out tonight

Let’s space out tonight.

What do astronauts read_ Comet books

What do astronauts read? Comet books.

I could tell you an astronaut joke, but it might fly over your head

I could tell you an astronaut joke, but it might fly over your head.

Why was the astronaut a good musician_ He had a good space sense

Why was the astronaut a good musician? He had a good space sense.

Why do astronauts make good mates_ They're down to Earth

Why do astronauts make good mates? They’re down to Earth.

What does an astronaut do when he gets angry_ He blasts off!

What does an astronaut do when he gets angry? He blasts off!

I’m over the moon with this idea!

I’m over the moon with this idea!

Why was the astronaut told to quiet down_ He had a rocket voice

Why was the astronaut told to quiet down? He had a rocket voice.

We’re just not on the same orbital plane

We’re just not on the same orbital plane.

How do you know if an astronaut likes you_ They find you out of this world!

How do you know if an astronaut likes you? They find you out of this world!

I’m a little spaced out today

I’m a little spaced out today.

What kind of car does an astronaut drive_ A Saturn

What kind of car does an astronaut drive? A Saturn.

Don’t worry, I comet to my promises.

Don’t worry, I comet to my promises.

How do astronauts stay so fit_ By doing spacewalks

How do astronauts stay so fit? By doing spacewalks.

The astronaut broke up with her boyfriend. She needed more space

The astronaut broke up with her boyfriend. She needed more space.

What did one astronaut say to the other as they opened the spacecraft door_ _After you, I insist, it's a vast space

What did one astronaut say to the other as they opened the spacecraft door? “After you, I insist, it’s a vast space.”

If I were an astronaut, I'd bring you the moon

If I were an astronaut, I’d bring you the moon.

What does an astronaut’s family do when he visits_ They give him space

What does an astronaut’s family do when he visits? They give him space.

You’re like a black hole, you just suck me right in!

You’re like a black hole, you just suck me right in!

Why did the astronaut bring paint to school_ To paint the space!

Why did the astronaut bring paint to school? To paint the space!

This isn’t rocket science... Oh wait, it actually is

This isn’t rocket science… Oh wait, it actually is.

What's an astronaut’s favorite chocolate_ A Milky Way

What’s an astronaut’s favorite chocolate? A Milky Way.

He's not a bad guy, he just has some comet-ment issues

He’s not a bad guy, he just has some comet-ment issues.

Why don't secrets last in space_ Because there's no atmosphere and they're always leaking out!

Why don’t secrets last in space? Because there’s no atmosphere and they’re always leaking out!

Stay away from astronaut parties—they’re always out of this world

Stay away from astronaut parties—they’re always out of this world.

How did the astronaut serve his country_ He did a flag walk on the moon

How did the astronaut serve his country? He did a flag walk on the moon.

Is this relationship going anywhere, or is it just in a stable orbit

Is this relationship going anywhere, or is it just in a stable orbit?

What was the astronaut doing in the computer lab_ Looking for the space bar

What was the astronaut doing in the computer lab? Looking for the space bar.

I’d tell you a gravity joke, but it always brings the mood down

I’d tell you a gravity joke, but it always brings the mood down.

What's an astronaut's favorite place on a computer_ The Space bar

What’s an astronaut’s favorite place on a computer? The Space bar.

Let’s planet on going out tonight.

Let’s planet on going out tonight.

Why did the astronaut go to the therapist_ To talk about the vacuum in his life

Why did the astronaut go to the therapist? To talk about the vacuum in his life.

Astronauts always have a blast at work

Astronauts always have a blast at work.

How do you know when an astronaut is sad_ When they can’t stop staring at the void

How do you know when an astronaut is sad? When they can’t stop staring at the void.

I’m ready for liftoff with this new project!

I’m ready for liftoff with this new project!

What's the worst part about throwing a party in space_ You have to planet

What’s the worst part about throwing a party in space? You have to planet.

Why don't astronauts get hungry on the job_ Because they’ve already had a big launch!

Why don’t astronauts get hungry on the job? Because they’ve already had a big launch!

Why did the astronaut retire_ He couldn't stick to Earth's job market

Why did the astronaut retire? He couldn’t stick to Earth’s job market.

I’m starry I can’t make it tonight.

I’m starry I can’t make it tonight.

How do astronauts decide what to wear_ They take a spacewalk in their closet

How do astronauts decide what to wear? They take a spacewalk in their closet.

Want to watch a space documentary_ I hear it’s meteoric

Want to watch a space documentary? I hear it’s meteoric.

What's the best way to catch a space fish_ With an asteroid net

What’s the best way to catch a space fish? With an asteroid net.

She's not just smart, she's astronaut smart!

She’s not just smart, she’s astronaut smart!

Why don't astronauts get scared in space_ Nothing there to spook them!

Why don’t astronauts get scared in space? Nothing there to spook them!

How do astronauts decorate the office_ With space prints

How do astronauts decorate the office? With space prints.

What does an astronaut do on a computer_ Just floats around

What does an astronaut do on a computer? Just floats around.

You've got a universal appeal

You’ve got a universal appeal.

Why did the astronaut visit the psychiatrist_ To face his fear of vacuums

Why did the astronaut visit the psychiatrist? To face his fear of vacuums.

Let’s make some space for new ideas.

Let’s make some space for new ideas.

What do astronauts eat for lunch_ Launchables

What do astronauts eat for lunch? Launchables.

I'm not saying he's slow, but he might not be the first to the launch pad

I’m not saying he’s slow, but he might not be the first to the launch pad.

Written by Gabriel Cruz - Foodie, Animal Lover, Slang & Language Enthusiast

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