Bread Puns and Jokes

Why did the loaf of bread break up with the baguette_ It couldn't handle the long-distance relationship!

Why did the loaf of bread break up with the baguette? It couldn’t handle the long-distance relationship!

You're the yeast of my worries!

You’re the yeast of my worries!

What do you call a loaf of bread that's been in a fight_ A sourdough!

What do you call a loaf of bread that’s been in a fight? A sourdough!

Let's get this bread!

Let’s get this bread!

How does bread win over friends_ With its loaf-ly personality!

How does bread win over friends? With its loaf-ly personality!

You're the upper crust of society

You’re the upper crust of society.

Why did the baker go to therapy_ To sort out his kneady behavior!

Why did the baker go to therapy? To sort out his kneady behavior!

Loaf is all you knead

Loaf is all you knead.

What do you call a loaf of bread that’s a genius_ Pure-bread smart!

What do you call a loaf of bread that’s a genius? Pure-bread smart!

Don't worry, be crumby

Don’t worry, be crumby.

Why did the slice of bread go to work_ It kneaded the dough

Why did the slice of bread go to work? It kneaded the dough.

This situation is a little crusty

This situation is a little crusty.

What does bread do after it's done baking_ Loaf around

What does bread do after it’s done baking? Loaf around.

Rye so serious

Rye so serious?

Why was the bread so good at baseball_ It always had a perfect batter!

Why was the bread so good at baseball? It always had a perfect batter!

Let’s raise a toast to our success

Let’s raise a toast to our success.

What's a bread's favorite movie_ _Loaf Actually

What’s a bread’s favorite movie? “Loaf Actually.”

I knead you in my life

I knead you in my life.

Why don't bread jokes ever get old_ They have a rye sense of humor

Why don’t bread jokes ever get old? They have a rye sense of humor.

Doughn't you know I loaf you

Doughn’t you know I loaf you?

How does bread break up with someone_ _I think we should see other buns

How does bread break up with someone? “I think we should see other buns.”

It’s a matter of loaf and death

It’s a matter of loaf and death.

Why do bakers work so hard_ Because they make lots of dough!

Why do bakers work so hard? Because they make lots of dough!

You deserve butter

You deserve butter.

What kind of bread does a racehorse eat_ Thoroughbread

What kind of bread does a racehorse eat? Thoroughbread.

We're on a roll now!

We’re on a roll now!

Why did the dough add everyone on social media_ It wanted to feel yeast popular

Why did the dough add everyone on social media? It wanted to feel yeast popular.

Just roll with it

Just roll with it.

What type of a dog does a baker have_ A purebread!

What type of a dog does a baker have? A purebread!

Are you bready for this

Are you bready for this?

Why did the loaf file a police report_ It got mugged in the breadbox

Why did the loaf file a police report? It got mugged in the breadbox.

This is how we roll

This is how we roll.

What do bread kids say during hide and seek_ _Bready or not, here I crumb!

What do bread kids say during hide and seek? “Bready or not, here I crumb!”

Crust me on this one

Crust me on this one.

Why did the baker stop making doughnuts_ He got tired of the hole thing

Why did the baker stop making doughnuts? He got tired of the hole thing.

He's a gluten for punishment

He’s a gluten for punishment.

What do loaves take on vacation_ The crumb-er van!

What do loaves take on vacation? The crumb-er van!

Bread my lips

Bread my lips.

Why did the bread break its promise_ It was going against the grain

Why did the bread break its promise? It was going against the grain.

That's the yeast of my problems

That’s the yeast of my problems.

What's a bread's favorite type of music_ Rye and roll!

What’s a bread’s favorite type of music? Rye and roll!

Let's not loaf around

Let’s not loaf around.

Why do slices of bread hate sunny weather_ They tend to get too toasted!

Why do slices of bread hate sunny weather? They tend to get too toasted!

A toast to your health!

A toast to your health!

What does a loaf of bread say to motivate its friends_ _You can crust yourself!

What does a loaf of bread say to motivate its friends? “You can crust yourself!”

Feeling crumby today

Feeling crumby today.

What do bread winners of races get_ A grain medal!

What do bread winners of races get? A grain medal!

That joke was crumbelievable

That joke was crumbelievable.

Why don't slices of bread make good detectives_ They always leave crumbs behind

Why don’t slices of bread make good detectives? They always leave crumbs behind.

Life's a batch!

Life’s a batch!

Why did the slice of bread start a blog_ It wanted to express its inner crust

Why did the slice of bread start a blog? It wanted to express its inner crust.

You've got to be bready to handle it

You’ve got to be bready to handle it.

What’s a loaf of bread’s favorite way to travel_ On a ferry crumb!

What’s a loaf of bread’s favorite way to travel? On a ferry crumb!

All’s fair in loaf and war

All’s fair in loaf and war.

How did the loaf apologize_ _I'm sorry for going against the grain

How did the loaf apologize? “I’m sorry for going against the grain.”

Crumb and get it!

Crumb and get it!

What do you call a mischievous loaf of bread_ A rascal rye!

What do you call a mischievous loaf of bread? A rascal rye!

I'm bready for anything

I’m bready for anything.

Why did the baguette never get lost_ It knew every nook and cranny!

Why did the baguette never get lost? It knew every nook and cranny!

Don't loaf me behind!

Don’t loaf me behind!

Why did the bread hate hot weather_ It always felt like it was baking!

Why did the bread hate hot weather? It always felt like it was baking!

This might sound half-baked

This might sound half-baked.

What did the loaf say to the butter_ _You're on a roll!

What did the loaf say to the butter? “You’re on a roll!”

It's the yeast I can do

It’s the yeast I can do.

Why did the bread roll into the bar_ To meet some cool jams

Why did the bread roll into the bar? To meet some cool jams.

Let's bread out of here.

Let’s bread out of here.

How does bread flirt_ _Hey there, crumb here often

How does bread flirt? “Hey there, crumb here often?”

That's just how I roll

That’s just how I roll.

What do you call an excited loaf of bread_ All pumped up with whole grains!

What do you call an excited loaf of bread? All pumped up with whole grains!

Keep your friends toast and your enemies toaster.

Keep your friends toast and your enemies toaster.

Why was the bread so full of itself_ It thought it was the best thing since sliced bread!

Why was the bread so full of itself? It thought it was the best thing since sliced bread!

Bread to the bone

Bread to the bone.

What does bread wear to the beach_ A crumb-kini

What does bread wear to the beach? A crumb-kini.

Don't go bacon my heart.

Don’t go bacon my heart.

Why did the bread look sad_ Its plans were always crumby

Why did the bread look sad? Its plans were always crumby.

I'm a gluten for your love

I’m a gluten for your love.

What did the yeast say to the flour_ _I loaf making you rise!

What did the yeast say to the flour? “I loaf making you rise!”

I'm bready if you are

I’m bready if you are.

What kind of bread does a house make_ Sill-y dough!

What kind of bread does a house make? Sill-y dough!

Crust your instincts.

Crust your instincts.

Why was the loaf of bread a good employee_ It always rose to the occasion

Why was the loaf of bread a good employee? It always rose to the occasion.

You've got to dough it

You’ve got to dough it.

Why did the baker file a lawsuit_ For batter interference

Why did the baker file a lawsuit? For batter interference.

It's a bread, bread world.

It’s a bread, bread world.

What do you call a loaf of bread that likes to read_ Well-bread

What do you call a loaf of bread that likes to read? Well-bread.

Slice to meet you.

Slice to meet you.

Why was the bread so scary_ It was a frightful loaf!

Why was the bread so scary? It was a frightful loaf!

I loaf spending time with you.

I loaf spending time with you.

What do you call bread that's waiting in line_ Bread in queue

What do you call bread that’s waiting in line? Bread in queue.

Crust me, it’s going to be okay.

Crust me, it’s going to be okay.

Why did the bread win an award_ For outstanding performance in a grain role

Why did the bread win an award? For outstanding performance in a grain role.

Rye believe in you

Rye believe in you.

What do you call an artistic loaf_ A masterpiece of dough

What do you call an artistic loaf? A masterpiece of dough.

I'm not a bread loser.

I’m not a bread loser.

Why did the slice of bread go to space_ To experience zero crumbs

Why did the slice of bread go to space? To experience zero crumbs.

Well-bread and well-read

Well-bread and well-read.

How does bread make a toast_ With a little bit of wine and butter words

How does bread make a toast? With a little bit of wine and butter words.

Bready, set, go!

Bready, set, go!

Why did the bread teacher go to school_ To improve the upper crust

Why did the bread teacher go to school? To improve the upper crust.

It's impastable to stay mad at you.

It’s impastable to stay mad at you.

Written by Gabriel Cruz - Foodie, Animal Lover, Slang & Language Enthusiast

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