Candy Puns and Jokes

Why don't candies ever get lonely_ Because they're always in a bunch!

Why don’t candies ever get lonely? Because they’re always in a bunch!

You're never too old for sweets, just _mint_ to enjoy them!

You’re never too old for sweets, just “mint” to enjoy them!

What kind of bear has no teeth_ A gummy bear!

What kind of bear has no teeth? A gummy bear!

Can February March No, but April May candy!

Can February March? No, but April May candy!

How do you organize a space party_ You planet with starbursts!

How do you organize a space party? You planet with starbursts!

Don't snicker at my sweet tooth, it's just how I _roll-o

Don’t snicker at my sweet tooth, it’s just how I “roll-o.”

Why did the M&M go to school_ It wanted to be a Smartie!

Why did the M&M go to school? It wanted to be a Smartie!

I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist but I candy!

I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist but I candy!

What's a candy's favorite game_ Bite and seek

What’s a candy’s favorite game? Bite and seek.

Let’s “stick” together like gum on a shoe

Let’s “stick” together like gum on a shoe.

Why did the gum cross the road_ It was stuck to the chicken's foot!

Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!

A life without candy is less _suite

A life without candy is less “suite.”

What do you call candy that was stolen_ Hot chocolate!

What do you call candy that was stolen? Hot chocolate!

I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t be very _gummy

I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t be very “gummy.”

Why are there no secrets in a candy store_ Because the Jolly Ranchers spill the beans!

Why are there no secrets in a candy store? Because the Jolly Ranchers spill the beans!

My favorite rapper_ Eminem, of course!

My favorite rapper? Eminem, of course!

What do you call a cow that can't moo_ A Milk Dud!

What do you call a cow that can’t moo? A Milk Dud!

What do you call a nosy candy_ A snoop doggy dog treat!

What do you call a nosy candy? A snoop doggy dog treat!

How do you put a baby alien to sleep_ You rocket with Milky Ways

How do you put a baby alien to sleep? You rocket with Milky Ways.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down—like sticky candy!

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down—like sticky candy!

What candy is always late_ ChocoLATE!

What candy is always late? ChocoLATE!

You got a chip on your shoulder_ Well, I’ve got a candy in my hand!

You got a chip on your shoulder? Well, I’ve got a candy in my hand!

Why did the candy cane get a job_ It wanted to be minted

Why did the candy cane get a job? It wanted to be minted.

Life is like a box of chocolates, it’s _fudge_ full of surprises

Life is like a box of chocolates, it’s “fudge” full of surprises.

How does the moon eat its candy_ In eclipse!

How does the moon eat its candy? In eclipse!

Keep your friends close and your candy closer

Keep your friends close and your candy closer.

Why don't candies play soccer_ They might get a red card for candy cane tackling!

Why don’t candies play soccer? They might get a red card for candy cane tackling!

If you don’t like my puns, you need a better sense of taste. Sweeten up!

If you don’t like my puns, you need a better sense of taste. Sweeten up!

What type of candy never listens_ Sours!

What type of candy never listens? Sours!

What happens when you bring a bag of gummy bears to the party_ Things get a little chewy!

What happens when you bring a bag of gummy bears to the party? Things get a little chewy!

What do you call an overweight pumpkin_ A plumpkin pie!

What do you call an overweight pumpkin? A plumpkin pie!

It's about time I got recognized for my skills. I’ve always known I’m a _Smartie

It’s about time I got recognized for my skills. I’ve always known I’m a “Smartie.”

How do candy bars laugh_ In Snickers!

How do candy bars laugh? In Snickers!

Why was the candy so good at school_ It was a total _nerd

Why was the candy so good at school? It was a total “nerd.”

What did one candy say to the other during a race_ I'm going to licorice you!

What did one candy say to the other during a race? I’m going to licorice you!

Don't trust people that dislike candy, they're just jelly.

Don’t trust people that dislike candy, they’re just jelly.

What candy do you eat on the playground_ Recess pieces

What candy do you eat on the playground? Recess pieces.

Trying to save your candy for later_ Good _luck!

Trying to save your candy for later? Good “luck!”

Why was the birthday candy sad_ It was a party poopermint

Why was the birthday candy sad? It was a party poopermint.

Why did the candy go to therapy_ It needed someone to _bar_ its soul to

Why did the candy go to therapy? It needed someone to “bar” its soul to.

What do you call an ant that likes candy_ Sweet-tooth!

What do you call an ant that likes candy? Sweet-tooth!

If you don’t like my puns, take a _chill pill_ or maybe a Pez!

If you don’t like my puns, take a “chill pill” or maybe a Pez!

How does a lemon drop introduce itself in a bar_ _Sour to meet you!

How does a lemon drop introduce itself in a bar? “Sour to meet you!”

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I candy it!

I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I candy it!

Why did the jelly bean go to school_ To become a smartie

Why did the jelly bean go to school? To become a smartie.

What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate_ A Kitty Kat bar!

What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg_ A hobbling goblin

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A hobbling goblin.

I’m not a big fan of candy, said no Juan ever

I’m not a big fan of candy, said no Juan ever.

Why did the jelly baby refuse to work_ It couldn’t handle the pressure

Why did the jelly baby refuse to work? It couldn’t handle the pressure.

When life gives you lemons, trade them for candy

When life gives you lemons, trade them for candy.

What candy is always at home_ Dome-stic sugar!

What candy is always at home? Dome-stic sugar!

Never trust candy left in the sun, they tend to have melty intentions

Never trust candy left in the sun, they tend to have melty intentions.

Why did the lollipop go to the bank_ To stay on the sucker list

Why did the lollipop go to the bank? To stay on the sucker list.

What's a candy’s favorite subject_ Sweet-math-ics!

What’s a candy’s favorite subject? Sweet-math-ics!

What kind of music do candy bars listen to_ Wrapper music

What kind of music do candy bars listen to? Wrapper music.

Trying to eat less candy is a real jawbreaker

Trying to eat less candy is a real jawbreaker.

What’s a cat’s favorite candy_ Mice Krispies!

What’s a cat’s favorite candy? Mice Krispies!

Remember, every candy piece you eat today will seem fudge-tastic tomorrow

Remember, every candy piece you eat today will seem fudge-tastic tomorrow.

How do you keep bubble gum from crying_ You burst its bubble gently

How do you keep bubble gum from crying? You burst its bubble gently.

If you can't sweet talk your way out, just candy!

If you can’t sweet talk your way out, just candy!

What does a gingerbread man use to make his bed_ Cookie sheets!

What does a gingerbread man use to make his bed? Cookie sheets!

A candy a day keeps the real world away

A candy a day keeps the real world away.

What did the candy say when it broke up with its girlfriend_ _It's not you, it's me… licorice

What did the candy say when it broke up with its girlfriend? “It’s not you, it’s me… licorice.”

Let's twist and shout for some chocolate sprouts!

Let’s twist and shout for some chocolate sprouts!

What kind of candy is never on time_ ChocoLATE!

What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE!

Can I barrow some sugar

Can I barrow some sugar?

How do you make a milk shake_ Give it a good scare!

How do you make a milk shake? Give it a good scare!

How does a candy propose_ With a ring pop!

How does a candy propose? With a ring pop!

Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road_ Because it ran out of juice!

Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!

When candy has a problem, it just chews it out.

When candy has a problem, it just chews it out.

What kind of dog likes baths_ A shampoodle!

What kind of dog likes baths? A shampoodle!

Sometimes you just have to roll with the sweet punches

Sometimes you just have to roll with the sweet punches.

Why was the candy corn such a good musician_ It always played in kernels

Why was the candy corn such a good musician? It always played in kernels.

What's a ghost's favorite candy_ Boo-ble gum!

What’s a ghost’s favorite candy? Boo-ble gum!

What did one Oreo say to the other Oreo_ _Want to be dunk buddies

What did one Oreo say to the other Oreo? “Want to be dunk buddies?”

Never leave your candy in the car; they might have a meltdown!

Never leave your candy in the car; they might have a meltdown!

What do you call a dinosaur made of chocolate_ A Choco-saurus!

What do you call a dinosaur made of chocolate? A Choco-saurus!

What do you call an educated candy_ Smarties pants!

What do you call an educated candy? Smarties pants!

How does a lollipop greet a candy bar_ _Stick around, buddy!

How does a lollipop greet a candy bar? “Stick around, buddy!”

Don't ever make a candy angry, they bring a whole new meaning to biting remarks.

Don’t ever make a candy angry, they bring a whole new meaning to biting remarks.

Why did the gum go to art school_ It wanted to learn to draw flavor!

Why did the gum go to art school? It wanted to learn to draw flavor!

What do you get when you mix ducks with candy_ A quackerjack box!

What do you get when you mix ducks with candy? A quackerjack box!

What’s an astronaut’s favorite candy_ A mars bar!

What’s an astronaut’s favorite candy? A mars bar!

A day without candy can be like _mint_ without the sweet

A day without candy can be like “mint” without the sweet.

What's a chocolate's favorite genre_ Cocoa-medies!

What’s a chocolate’s favorite genre? Cocoa-medies!

What do you get when you cross a sheep and a candy_ A baa baa gum!

What do you get when you cross a sheep and a candy? A baa baa gum!

What did the candy say at the door_ _I'm bar none the best treat!

What did the candy say at the door? “I’m bar none the best treat!”

Be careful with candy, it might stick with you for a while.

Be careful with candy, it might stick with you for a while.

How do you describe an adventurous candy_ Jawsome!

How do you describe an adventurous candy? Jawsome!

Why did the candy go to jail_ Because it was caught steeling hearts

Why did the candy go to jail? Because it was caught steeling hearts.

What kind of candy explodes_ Firecracker candy!

What kind of candy explodes? Firecracker candy!

Don't worry, I’m not here to fudge the truth

Don’t worry, I’m not here to fudge the truth.

Why do candies love the holidays_ They fit right into the spirit – sweet and bright!

Why do candies love the holidays? They fit right into the spirit – sweet and bright!

If life isn’t sweet enough, add candy!

If life isn’t sweet enough, add candy!

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog_ Frosty Paws!

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frosty Paws!

What do you call an affectionate candy_ A cuddle candy

What do you call an affectionate candy? A cuddle candy.

Why was the lollipop awarded a medal_ For being outstanding in its field

Why was the lollipop awarded a medal? For being outstanding in its field.

Life is short, make it sweet!

Life is short, make it sweet!

What's a candy’s life philosophy_ Life is sweet, take a treat!

What’s a candy’s life philosophy? Life is sweet, take a treat!

If you don't like my candy puns, you're just sour grapes!

If you don’t like my candy puns, you’re just sour grapes!

Written by Gabriel Cruz - Foodie, Animal Lover, Slang & Language Enthusiast

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