What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana, but clocks… well, they just tick!
Why did the clock get a good grade in school? It always tocked enough!
Time waits for no man, but it always pauses for a clock.
How do you catch a runaway clock? Wind it up!
Clocks are very hands-on when it comes to time management.
What kind of watch is best for people who don’t like to rush? A who-cares watch.
Why was the clock calm during the debate? It knew how to second its motion.
Why was the clock in the cafeteria? It was going back for seconds.
What’s a clock’s favorite Spice Girls song? “Time’s Up on the Wall.”
How can you tell a clock is really wise? It goes through a lot of ticks.
Got time on my hands, said every clock ever.
Why don’t clocks tell secrets? Because time will tell.
Clocks: always up-to-the-minute with the latest news.
What did the annoyed clock say to the enthusiastic hour hand? “Keep your distance!”
How do you know if a clock is smart? It’s all in the timing.
Why did the little clock get in trouble? For tocking too much.
A clock’s favorite game? Second guess.
What did one wall clock say to the other? “If you tick me off one more time…”\
Where do clocks go on vacation? New York Times Square.
Why don’t clocks use social media? They don’t have time for that!
Let’s give a hand to the clock; it’s about time it got applause.
How do you make a clock stop working? You give it a break!
Clocks are the only things that can make time fly and stand still at the same time.
Why did the clock go to the therapist? It had too many hang-ups.
If you have a clock that tells jokes, it’s about time.
What’s a clock’s least favorite movie? “Rush Hour!”
Time heals all wounds, but clocks just keep ticking.
Why did the clock break up with the calendar? It was tired of dates.
A clock’s life is just a matter of time.
What kind of dog tells time? A watchdog!
Ever tried eating a clock? It’s very time-consuming.
What did the clock do when it was still hungry? It went back four seconds.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
Why was the clock always calm? It knew how to unwind.
Clocks are armed and dangerous—they have hands and faces!
How does a clock hear? Through its hour-ears!
When clocks get together, it’s a real meeting of minds—or should I say faces?
Why was the grandfather clock so tall? Because it was well-raised.
Clocks always have time to spare, but never waste a second.
What did the mom clock say to the kid clock? “Watch your minute hand!”
They said I had too many clocks, but I knew it was time to collect.
Why do clocks love puns? They’re great for passing the time.
Clocks are always ahead of their time.
What’s a clock’s favorite app? TikTok!
My clock keeps bragging about its past—it’s all about the good old days.
Why did the clock keep opening the fridge? It wanted to see time fly!
Clocks in a bakery follow the dough-hand rule.
Why was the clock in the movie theater? It was time for a show!
When it comes to making clocks laugh, it’s about timing your punch line.
What happens when you annoy a clock? It gets ticked off!
A clock knows all the best times to drop a joke.
What do you call a story that one clock tells to another? Second-hand information.
If a clock works overtime, does it get handsomely paid?
Why did the clock get promoted? It worked overtime.
Clocks are never early, they’re just timely fashionable.
What’s a broken clock’s favorite music? Rock around the clock.
A worried clock is always second guessing itself.
Why did the clock get a sunburn? It spent too much time in the sun dial.
Never play hide and seek with a clock, they always face the truth.
Why don’t clocks like competition? They always get wound up.
A clock’s favorite type of music? Hip hop—because of the good beats per minute.
What do clocks eat for breakfast? Tick Tacs.
Clocks always know how to have a good time.
What’s a clock’s favorite type of humor? Timeless puns!
Clocks don’t go to school, they just pass time.
What do you call a clock on the moon? A lunartick!
A broken clock is right at least twice a day, so it’s not all bad news.
Why did the clock always win at poker? It knew when to fold time.
My clock stopped at 420, I guess it was high time.
How did the clock find its career? It just followed its hands!
Why don’t secrets last with clocks? Sooner or later they tick them off.
Why did the clock go to school? To pass the time.
My clock wanted to become an actor, but it couldn’t stand still during dramatic pauses.
What did the clock say when it wanted to make a toast? “Over to hour glass!”
Old clocks never die; they just lose their tick.
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time!
Clocks in the kitchen always face thyme.
Why did everyone trust the clock? It knew how to spend its time wisely.
A clock’s favorite movie? “About Time” – it really struck a chord.
What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? “Look, no hands!”
You can’t teach an old clock new ticks.
Why was the clock always sad? Because every minute was its hour of need.
Time puns aren’t for everyone, but they’re just right for clock enthusiasts.
How do you know a clock is really brave? It never runs away, just ticks forward!
Every time I pass a clock shop, I feel like there’s not enough time to see everything.
What do clocks do when they get home? They let their hands down.
If you’re going to throw a clock, make sure it’s time to see it fly.
Why did the clock take a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains!
My clock’s not lazy, it’s just on a brief break.
What did the alarm clock say to the snooze button? “Don’t push my buttons!”
Clocks in an orchestra? Always great with timing.
Why did the clock visit outer space? To see time fly!
When do clocks feel scared? When they’re all wound up.
How do you know when a clock is really serious? When it goes straight to alarm!
Clocks make great authors; they know how to work around the clock.
Why did the clock join the army? It wanted to be in the infantry.
The problem with alarm clocks? They’re alarming!
What did the clock do when it was accused of being slow? It struck back!
If you have a clock that loves math, it must be into times tables!