Cookie Puns and Jokes

Why did the cookie go to therapy_ Because it felt crummy

Why did the cookie go to therapy? Because it felt crummy.

Life's a batch, and then you bake

Life’s a batch, and then you bake.

What do you call a cookie that goes to the gym_ A protein snickerdoodle

What do you call a cookie that goes to the gym? A protein snickerdoodle.

Don't worry, dough happy!

Don’t worry, dough happy!

Why don’t cookies ever win at poker_ They always crumble under pressure

Why don’t cookies ever win at poker? They always crumble under pressure.

You want a piece of me

You want a piece of me?

What's a cookie's favorite type of music_ Crunch rock!

What’s a cookie’s favorite type of music? Crunch rock!

I’m a smart cookie, no crumbling under pressure

I’m a smart cookie, no crumbling under pressure.

How do you know if a cookie is rich_ It has lots of dough

How do you know if a cookie is rich? It has lots of dough.

Baked to perfection—no crumby attitudes here

Baked to perfection—no crumby attitudes here.

What did the cookie say after it broke up with the fortune cookie_ _I guess it just wasn't in our stars

What did the cookie say after it broke up with the fortune cookie? “I guess it just wasn’t in our stars.”

Breaking news_ Local cookie jar theft, crumbs left behind

Breaking news: Local cookie jar theft, crumbs left behind.

Why was the cookie sad at the party_ Because it was a chip off the old block

Why was the cookie sad at the party? Because it was a chip off the old block.

Cookies are chip off the old block

Cookies are chip off the old block.

What’s a cookie’s favorite karate move_ The cracker break!

What’s a cookie’s favorite karate move? The cracker break!

A day without cookies is just crumby.

A day without cookies is just crumby.

What kind of cookie makes you rich_ A fortune cookie!

What kind of cookie makes you rich? A fortune cookie!

Be a smart cookie, not a tough cookie.

Be a smart cookie, not a tough cookie.

Why did the Oreo go to school_ To prove it was no dumb cookie

Why did the Oreo go to school? To prove it was no dumb cookie.

Let’s get this batch started!

Let’s get this batch started!

What happens if you eat too many cookies_ You get a cookie belly!

What happens if you eat too many cookies? You get a cookie belly!

Why did the cookie go to therapy_ To deal with its crumbling self-esteem

Why did the cookie go to therapy? To deal with its crumbling self-esteem.

Why do cookies never win races_ They always get a little crumbly around the edges

Why do cookies never win races? They always get a little crumbly around the edges.

Keep your friends close, and your cookies closer

Keep your friends close, and your cookies closer.

What do you call a dinosaur that steals cookies_ A Snackosaurus

What do you call a dinosaur that steals cookies? A Snackosaurus.

I never met a cookie I didn’t like

I never met a cookie I didn’t like.

Why are cookies like computers_ They both have chips!

Why are cookies like computers? They both have chips!

That’s the way the cookie fumbles

That’s the way the cookie fumbles.

What game do cookies play at parties_ Biscuit in a basket

What game do cookies play at parties? Biscuit in a basket.

Chip chip hooray for cookies!

Chip chip hooray for cookies!

Why did the cookie take a nap_ Because it was beat!

Why did the cookie take a nap? Because it was beat!

Keep calm and cookie on

Keep calm and cookie on.

How do cookies write secrets_ In invisible ink

How do cookies write secrets? In invisible ink.

Just dough it!

Just dough it!

What did one gingerbread man say to the other_ _Life’s a batch!

What did one gingerbread man say to the other? “Life’s a batch!”

Doughn't stop believing

Doughn’t stop believing.

What do you call a cookie that likes to play tricks_ A jokerdoodle

What do you call a cookie that likes to play tricks? A jokerdoodle.

Not all who wander are lost, some are just cookies hiding from the milk

Not all who wander are lost, some are just cookies hiding from the milk.

Why did the cookie go to jail_ It was caught stealing dough!

Why did the cookie go to jail? It was caught stealing dough!

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

What's a monster’s favorite type of cookie_ Ghoul scout cookies

What’s a monster’s favorite type of cookie? Ghoul scout cookies.

Home is where the heart is, but kitchen is where the cookies are

Home is where the heart is, but kitchen is where the cookies are.

Why was the cookie always in a bad mood_ Because his mom was a wafer too long!

Why was the cookie always in a bad mood? Because his mom was a wafer too long!

Have your cookie and eat it too

Have your cookie and eat it too.

Why did the cookie complain about the weather_ It was too crumby

Why did the cookie complain about the weather? It was too crumby.

Chip-ing away at my cookie stash

Chip-ing away at my cookie stash.

What do you call an ambitious cookie_ One that wants to crumble barriers

What do you call an ambitious cookie? One that wants to crumble barriers.

What’s a cookie’s favorite place at the fair_ The roller-dough-ster

What’s a cookie’s favorite place at the fair? The roller-dough-ster.

What do cookies do with a car_ They doughnut!

What do cookies do with a car? They doughnut!

Cookies make the world a butter place

Cookies make the world a butter place.

How does a cookie smell_ Through its dough-nose!

How does a cookie smell? Through its dough-nose!

That’s how the cookie mobilizes

That’s how the cookie mobilizes.

What did the cookie mom say to her misbehaving cookie child_ _You are one tough cookie to crack!

What did the cookie mom say to her misbehaving cookie child? “You are one tough cookie to crack!”

Crumb and get it!

Crumb and get it!

Why did the cookie decorate itself_ It wanted to look sweet

Why did the cookie decorate itself? It wanted to look sweet.

Bake the world a butter place

Bake the world a butter place.

What is a cookie’s life motto_ Crumb what may

What is a cookie’s life motto? Crumb what may.

Can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!

Can’t catch me, I’m the gingerbread man!

What type of cookies do tough cookies hang out with_ Hardtack

What type of cookies do tough cookies hang out with? Hardtack.

What do cookies do for fun_ They crumb-a-lot!

What do cookies do for fun? They crumb-a-lot!

Why do cookies work well in the stock market_ They know how to chip in

Why do cookies work well in the stock market? They know how to chip in.

Every cookie is a sugar-coated adventure

Every cookie is a sugar-coated adventure.

How do cookies greet each other_ _Hey, sweetie!

How do cookies greet each other? “Hey, sweetie!”

The more, the merrier. Especially with cookies

The more, the merrier. Especially with cookies.

Why do cookies make good detectives_ They always find the crumbs

Why do cookies make good detectives? They always find the crumbs.

It’s crunch time!

It’s crunch time!

What do you call a cookie that goes to space_ An astro-nomical treat!

What do you call a cookie that goes to space? An astro-nomical treat!

Cookies_ bake it till you make it

Cookies: bake it till you make it.

Why did the cookie join the circus_ It wanted to be a juggler!

Why did the cookie join the circus? It wanted to be a juggler!

All you knead is love and cookies

All you knead is love and cookies.

What’s a cookie’s favorite ride at the amusement park_ The roller toaster

What’s a cookie’s favorite ride at the amusement park? The roller toaster.

My cookie, my choice

My cookie, my choice.

Why did the cookie cry_ Because his dad was a wafer so long

Why did the cookie cry? Because his dad was a wafer so long.

Cookie life in the batch lane

Cookie life in the batch lane.

How do you attract a bunch of cookies_ With a cookie sheet

How do you attract a bunch of cookies? With a cookie sheet.

Cookie today, gone tomorrow

Cookie today, gone tomorrow.

What's a cookie's least favorite day of the week_ Crumbsday

What’s a cookie’s least favorite day of the week? Crumbsday.

Sugar, spice, and everything iced

Sugar, spice, and everything iced.

Why do cookies hate sunny days_ They get too baked!

Why do cookies hate sunny days? They get too baked!

Cookie-doughn't you want some

Cookie-doughn’t you want some?

Why did the cookie join the dating app_ It wanted to find its batch made in heaven

Why did the cookie join the dating app? It wanted to find its batch made in heaven.

When the cookie meets the crumble

When the cookie meets the crumble.

How do you fix a broken cookie_ With cookie dough, of course!

How do you fix a broken cookie? With cookie dough, of course!

Life is short—make it sweet.

Life is short—make it sweet.

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a cookie_ Bites everywhere!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a cookie? Bites everywhere!

Oh crumb on, have another cookie!

Oh crumb on, have another cookie!

What’s a cookie’s favorite place to visit_ The Great Wall of China, to see the Great Wafter

What’s a cookie’s favorite place to visit? The Great Wall of China, to see the Great Wafter.

This cookie shall too pastry

This cookie shall too pastry.

Why do cookies make terrible friends_ They’re too crumbly under pressure

Why do cookies make terrible friends? They’re too crumbly under pressure.

We’re butter together.

We’re butter together.

How do you know when a cookie is done with its homework_ When it’s all written in cookie cutter handwriting

How do you know when a cookie is done with its homework? When it’s all written in cookie cutter handwriting.

I’m dough-lighted to meet you!

I’m dough-lighted to meet you!

Why don’t cookies trust their feelings_ They’re too crumby

Why don’t cookies trust their feelings? They’re too crumby.

I'm just here for the cookies.

I’m just here for the cookies.

How does a cookie cry_ By letting the milk run

How does a cookie cry? By letting the milk run.

One bite and you're doughne for.

One bite and you’re doughne for.

What do you call a cookie that is a knight_ Sir Crumbs-a-lot!

What do you call a cookie that is a knight? Sir Crumbs-a-lot!

Baking spirits bright

Baking spirits bright.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor_ Because it felt like it was going to crumble!

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt like it was going to crumble!

A cookie a day keeps the cravings at bay

A cookie a day keeps the cravings at bay.

Written by Gabriel Cruz - Foodie, Animal Lover, Slang & Language Enthusiast

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