What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? Pine-apple!
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down a hill.
Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice!
What do you call a sad apple? A blueberry.
How does an apple apologize? It says, “I ap-peel to you!”
What type of a computer does an apple like most? A Macintosh.
Why did the apple go to therapy? It had core issues.
What did one apple say to the other apple? “You’re the apple of my eye!”
What do you call an apple who plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
Why are apples not lonely? Because they hang out in bunches.
What do you call an apple with a six pack? An apple-letic.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden.
What did the apple say to the pie baker? Use cherries instead!
Why did the apple join the band? Because it had great jam sessions.
What did the apple say on January 1st? “New year, new peeling.”
Why was the apple so good at archery? It was a sharpshooter.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple.
Why did the apple pie go to school? To improve its “pi” skills.
What do you call a fast apple? A speed pip.
How do you catch a cheater in fruit race? By watching the apple turn-over!
What kind of apple isn’t an apple? A pineapple.
What do you call a frozen apple? Hard cider.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a vampire? A blood orange.
Why did the apple pie cross the road? It saw a fork up ahead.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
Why don’t apples cry? Because they’re tough to the core.
What did the apple say to the almond? You’re nuts!
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Anything with a good bite.
How do you make an apple turnover? Tell it a scary bedtime story.
What’s an apple’s favorite movie? The Apple Dumpling Gang.
Why did the apple go out with a prune? Because it couldn’t find a date!
What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? An apple fir sure.
Why did the apple spy always win? Because it was always undercover.
Why did the apple turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why was the green apple lonely? Because the red apples were always picked first.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.
How do you make an apple smile? Compliment its peel.
What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-aid. What do you give a sick apple? Apple juice.
Why did the apple stop in the middle of the speech? It needed a byte.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a shell? A crab apple.
How does an apple a day keep the doctor away? When you aim it well.
What kind of apple grows on a tree? All of them!
Why did the apple go out with a fig? It couldn’t find a date.
What do you call an apple who is a comedian? A peeling.
Why are apples afraid of love? Because they hate being crushed.
Why did the apple join the orchestra? Because it had great composition.
What kind of apple isn’t allowed at school? A bad apple.
What is an apple’s favorite movie? James and the Giant Peach.
How do apples communicate? With FaceTime.
What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish every night? Every morning, you’ll rise and shine!
How do you catch a smart apple? Climb a tree and act like a Newton.
Why did the apple pie see a therapist? It needed to address its flaky behavior.
Why are apples bad actors? Because they always get caught up in the jam.
What do apples wear to go swimming? Swim trunks.
Why don’t secrets stay secret in a fruit basket? Because apples like to turnover.
Why did the apple join a rock band? It wanted to be a rock star.
What do you call an apple that’s a traitor? A turn-coat.
How do you make an apple shake? You yell at it!
Why are apples so fit? Because they do core exercises.
Why did the apple go to the bank? To cash in its seeds.
Why was the apple always in trouble? It couldn’t behave in the bunch.
How do apples get around? They take the stem.
Why did the apple date a fig? It couldn’t find a date.
What’s an apple’s favorite TV show? Game of Thorns.
Why do apples never get lost? Because they have Siri.
What did the worm want to do when it grew up? Go into apples.
What do you call an old apple? A granny smith.
How do you fix a broken apple? With a fruit patch.
Why did the apple go to the party? To get a little saucy.
Why did the apple join the tennis club? It wanted to improve its core strength.
Why don’t apples get stuck in traffic? They use the apple lane.
How do apples get high scores? They juice their brains.
Why did the apple go into business? It wanted to be an entrepreneur.
Why did the apple break up with the orange? Too much pulp fiction.
What did the apple say to the banana? “You’re peeling.”
Why don’t apples ever get bored? They find everything a-peeling.
Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road? It wanted to visit the apple-cross.
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it off the counter.
What do apples drink at happy hour? Apple-tinis.
Why was the apple always single? It couldn’t find the perfect pear.
How do you make an apple frown? Take it to the juice factory.
Why did the apple go to space? To orbit the core.
What did the apple say to the banana? “Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?”
Why did the apple sit next to the pumpkin? It wanted to be pie.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a famous detective? Sherlock Holmes.
How do you make gold soup? Put 14 carrots in it!
Why was the apple such a good musician? It had great pitch.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden.
What did the apple say to the pie? “You complete me!”
Why was the apple computer cold? It left its Windows open.
What did the apple say to the almond? You’re nuts!
What do you get when you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple.
Why did the apple pie go to school? To improve its “pi” skills.
What kind of apple isn’t an apple? A pineapple.
What do you call a frozen apple? Hard cider.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a vampire? A blood orange.
Why did the apple pie cross the road? It saw a fork up ahead.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
Why don’t apples cry? Because they’re tough to the core.
What did the apple say to the almond? You’re nuts!
What kind of apple grows on a tree? All of them!