Why did the apricot use a smartphone? To stay “pitted” against its peers!
What do you call an apricot that’s into fitness? A gymcot!
Why was the apricot always picked first? It was simply the “pits”!
How do apricots enter a building? They use the “pit” stop.
What’s an apricot’s favorite kind of music? Pit-hop!
Why don’t apricots ever get lost? They always find their way back to the branch.
What do you call a fancy apricot? Glamcot!
Why did the apricot go to jail? It was involved in a jam session!
How do apricots like to travel? In a fruit compote!
Why was the apricot always warm? It had a fuzzy coat!
What did the mommy apricot say to the baby apricot? “You’re the apple of my eye, but you’re a peach to me!”
Why don’t apricots ever start a fight? They don’t like to stir the pit!
What do you call an apricot that’s a spy? An undercover fruit!
Why did the apricot write a letter? To say “pit me back”!
What’s an apricot’s favorite horror movie? “Pulp Fiction.”
Why did the apricot stop at the road? It saw the “pit stop.”
How do you fix a broken apricot? With a fruit patch!
What’s an apricot’s favorite karate move? The chop!
What do you call a group of singing apricots? A jam band.
Why don’t apricots ever get lonely? Because they come in bunches!
What’s an apricot’s favorite board game? Pitfall.
How do apricots greet each other? “Hey bud, nice to eat you!”
What happens when an apricot gets mad? It turns peach!
Why did the apricot go to school? To improve its “peel.”
What do you call an apricot in space? An astro-pit!
Why do apricots never win races? They always get “preserved” at the end.
What do apricots wear to the beach? A peach bikini.
What’s an apricot’s favorite day of the week? Pit-day!
Why did the apricot join the orchestra? It had great jam.
How do you make an apricot turnover? Push it down a hill.
What’s an apricot’s favorite place at the fair? The Ferris peel!
What did one apricot say to the other at the gym? “Let’s get to the core of our workout!”
Why was the apricot always happy? It was never in a jam.
What’s an apricot’s least favorite weather? The pit-ter patter of rain.
Why did the apricot go to the psychologist? It needed to “peel” back its layers.
How do apricots like their steak? Medium-rare, with a side of peach.
What’s an apricot’s favorite school subject? Pit-matics.
Why don’t apricots play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
What’s an apricot’s favorite type of movie? Anything with a good twist!
How do you organize a party in space? You planet with apricots.
What did the grape say to the apricot? “Stop being so sweet!”
Why do apricots hate secrets? They can’t wait to spill the beans.
What’s an apricot’s favorite snack? Peanuts, because they feel related.
What do apricots do when they get angry? They make a fruit punch!
What do you call an apricot that loves to read? A book-fruit!
Why did the apricot join the dating service? It was looking for the perfect “peach.”
How do you get an apricot to stop rolling? Put it in a jam!
What do apricots say before a race? “Ready, set, pit!”
What kind of dog does an apricot have? A pug, because it’s perfectly rounded.
How do you make an apricot float? Add two scoops of ice cream and some soda!
Why did the apricot go to the doctor? It had a pit-iful cough.
What did the apricot say when it got stepped on? “Oh, my peel!”
Why don’t apricots work at construction sites? They bruise too easily.
What do you call an apricot that’s a copycat? A mimic-cot!
Why did the apricot stop writing? It ran out of juice.
What do you call an apricot after a breakup? Heart-pitted.
Why did the apricot start exercising? It wanted to be “stone” hard!
What’s an apricot’s favorite TV show? “Game of Stones.”
Why do apricots make poor soccer players? They’re always getting jammed.
What’s an apricot’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Much Ado About Nutting.”
Why did the apricot go to art class? To draw a still peach.
What do you call a chilled apricot? Cool as a cucumber.
Why did the apricot stop at the bar? To get a little smashed!
What’s an apricot’s favorite game? Pit-tac-toe.
Why are apricots bad at secrets? They let everything slip through the cracks.
What did the fruit basket say to the apricot? “You complete us!”
How do you catch the best apricot? Climb to the top of the tree.
Why did the apricot go to the bank? To cash in on its savings.
What’s an apricot’s life philosophy? Live life to the pittest!
Why don’t apricots play hide and seek? Because they’re always spotted.
What’s an apricot’s favorite type of poetry? Romantic.
How do apricots access the internet? They log in from the Apple store.
What do you call an apricot that doesn’t age? Timeless.
Why did the apricot start a podcast? To spread the news.
What do you call an apricot that can sing? A pit-ch perfect performer.
Why did the apricot write a book? To share its layers.
What’s an apricot’s favorite weather? When it’s raining pits and dogs.
How do you throw a space party? You planet with lots of apricots!
Why did the apricot go to the museum? To get some culture.
What do apricots drink at parties? Punch, to fit right in.
What’s an apricot’s favorite superhero? Captain Ameri-cot.
Why don’t apricots play cards? Too many dealing with pits.
What did the fruit bowl say to the naughty apricot? “You’re grounded!”
How do apricots like their news? Juicy with a side of gossip.
What do you get if you cross an apricot with a famous detective? Sherlock Peaches.
Why did the apricot use a smartphone? To stay “pitted” against its peers!
What do you call an apricot that’s into fitness? A gymcot!
Why was the apricot always picked first? It was simply the “pits”!
How do apricots enter a building? They use the “pit” stop.
What’s an apricot’s favorite kind of music? Pit-hop!
Why don’t apricots ever get lost? They always find their way back to the branch.
What do you call a fancy apricot? Glamcot!
Why did the apricot go to jail? It was involved in a jam session!
How do apricots like to travel? In a fruit compote!
Why was the apricot always warm? It had a fuzzy coat!
What did the mommy apricot say to the baby apricot? “You’re the apple of my eye, but you’re a peach to me!”
Why don’t apricots ever start a fight? They don’t like to stir the pit!
What do you call an apricot that’s a spy? An undercover fruit!
Why did the apricot write a letter? To say “pit me back”!
What’s an apricot’s favorite horror movie? “Pulp Fiction.”
Why did the apricot stop at the road? It saw the “pit stop.”