101 Dad Jokes about Artichoke

Why did the artichoke get invited to every party_ It knew how to dip!

Why did the artichoke get invited to every party? It knew how to dip!

What do you call an artichoke that likes to take charge_ The arti-choke boss

What do you call an artichoke that likes to take charge? The arti-choke boss.

Why was the artichoke a great musician_ It always hit the heart notes

Why was the artichoke a great musician? It always hit the heart notes.

How do artichokes settle their problems_ They hash it out in the veggie patch

How do artichokes settle their problems? They hash it out in the veggie patch.

Why did the artichoke win an award_ For being outstanding in its field

Why did the artichoke win an award? For being outstanding in its field.

What do artichokes wear to a formal event_ A _leaf_ tie!

What do artichokes wear to a formal event? A “leaf” tie!

What do you call a very religious artichoke_ An arti-choke of faith

What do you call a very religious artichoke? An arti-choke of faith.

Why did the artichoke get in trouble at school_ For talking back to the kale

Why did the artichoke get in trouble at school? For talking back to the kale.

How do you cheer up an artichoke_ Tell it a veggie joke

How do you cheer up an artichoke? Tell it a veggie joke.

What do you get when you cross an artichoke with a stopwatch_ Artichoke hearts that beat in time!

What do you get when you cross an artichoke with a stopwatch? Artichoke hearts that beat in time!

Why did the artichoke write a letter_ To say it missed its _buds

Why did the artichoke write a letter? To say it missed its “buds.”

What’s an artichoke’s favorite type of story_ One with a twist at the end

What’s an artichoke’s favorite type of story? One with a twist at the end.

Why are artichokes never lonely_ Because they always come in _hearts

Why are artichokes never lonely? Because they always come in “hearts.”

Why did the artichoke stop working_ It was feeling too _dipped

Why did the artichoke stop working? It was feeling too “dipped.”

How does an artichoke flirt_ It says, _Lettuce leaf together!

How does an artichoke flirt? It says, “Lettuce leaf together!”

Why did the artichoke go to the party_ To turnip the beet!

What’s an artichoke’s favorite music? Anything with a good beet.

Why did the artichoke go to the party_ To turnip the beet!

Why did the artichoke go to the party? To turnip the beet!

What do artichokes say during a workout_ _Let's kale this workout!

What do artichokes say during a workout? “Let’s kale this workout!”

How do artichokes say goodbye_ _Peas out!

How do artichokes say goodbye? “Peas out!”

What do artichokes say during a workout_ _Let's kale this workout! (2)

Why did the artichoke join a band? Because it had great “chords.”

What do you call an artichoke that’s good at math_ A cal-cu-leaf-tor!

What do you call an artichoke that’s good at math? A cal-cu-leaf-tor!

Why did the artichoke sit down_ It was feeling _beet

Why did the artichoke sit down? It was feeling “beet.”

What’s an artichoke’s favorite sport_ Fris-leaf

What’s an artichoke’s favorite sport? Fris-leaf.

Why was the artichoke a good actor_ It always played the “heart” role well

Why was the artichoke a good actor? It always played the “heart” role well.

What’s an artichoke’s favorite movie_ _Greens of Wrath

What’s an artichoke’s favorite movie? “Greens of Wrath.”

How do artichokes like their eggs_ Beaten, not poached

How do artichokes like their eggs? Beaten, not poached.

What’s an artichoke’s life motto_ Leaf no stone unturned

What’s an artichoke’s life motto? Leaf no stone unturned.

Why did the artichoke go to therapy_ It needed to address its _layered_ personality

Why did the artichoke go to therapy? It needed to address its “layered” personality.

Why don’t artichokes get along with onions_ They always bring tears to their eyes

Why don’t artichokes get along with onions? They always bring tears to their eyes.

Why was the artichoke invited to the soup party_ Because it never spills the beans!

Why was the artichoke invited to the soup party? Because it never spills the beans!

What do artichokes do when they get scared_ They turnip the lights

What do artichokes do when they get scared? They turnip the lights.

Why did the artichoke start a gardening business_ It had the thyme

Why did the artichoke start a gardening business? It had the thyme.

What’s an artichoke’s favorite magic spell_ Abra-ca-dip-ra!

What’s an artichoke’s favorite magic spell? Abra-ca-dip-ra!

Why did the artichoke lose the race_ It couldn’t ketchup

Why did the artichoke lose the race? It couldn’t ketchup.

How do artichokes keep their secrets_ Beneath their leaves

How do artichokes keep their secrets? Beneath their leaves.

Why don’t artichokes need phones_ They prefer to _leaf_ messages

Why don’t artichokes need phones? They prefer to “leaf” messages.

What do you call an artichoke that writes songs_ A chart-topping choke

What do you call an artichoke that writes songs? A chart-topping choke.

Why do artichokes make good detectives_ They dig deep

Why do artichokes make good detectives? They dig deep.

What’s an artichoke’s favorite hobby_ Leafing through books

What’s an artichoke’s favorite hobby? Leafing through books.

Why was the artichoke a great comedian_ It always knew how to dish out the jokes

Why was the artichoke a great comedian? It always knew how to dish out the jokes.

What do artichokes use to navigate_ _Heart_ maps

What do artichokes use to navigate? “Heart” maps.

Why was the artichoke always calm_ It mastered _peas_ of mind

Why was the artichoke always calm? It mastered “peas” of mind.

Why did the artichoke go to jail_ For stalking celery

Why did the artichoke go to jail? For stalking celery.

What do you call a competitive artichoke_ A champi-choke

What do you call a competitive artichoke? A champi-choke.

What’s an artichoke’s favorite button on the remote_ The “menu” button

What’s an artichoke’s favorite button on the remote? The “menu” button.

How do you know an artichoke likes you_ It gives you _butterflies

How do you know an artichoke likes you? It gives you “butterflies.”

Why did the artichoke become a chef_ It loved to _spice_ things up

Why did the artichoke become a chef? It loved to “spice” things up.

What’s an artichoke’s favorite day of the year_ New Leaf’s Eve

What’s an artichoke’s favorite day of the year? New Leaf’s Eve.

How do artichokes stay cool_ They keep their fans close

How do artichokes stay cool? They keep their fans close.

Why don’t artichokes ever get bored_ They find everything a-peeling

Why don’t artichokes ever get bored? They find everything a-peeling.

What’s an artichoke’s favorite ride at the fair_ The salad spinner

What’s an artichoke’s favorite ride at the fair? The salad spinner.

What did the artichoke say to the avocado_ _Let's guac and roll!

What did the artichoke say to the avocado? “Let’s guac and roll!”

Why did the artichoke join the gym_ To get to the _core_ of fitness

Why did the artichoke join the gym? To get to the “core” of fitness.

What do you call an artichoke that can sing_ A rock ‘n’ roll artichoke

What do you call an artichoke that can sing? A rock ‘n’ roll artichoke.

How do artichokes follow their dreams_ They stalk them

How do artichokes follow their dreams? They stalk them.

Why did the artichoke become a poet_ To express its heartfelt emotions

Why did the artichoke become a poet? To express its heartfelt emotions.

What do artichokes drink at parties_ Leaf-monade

What do artichokes drink at parties? Leaf-monade.

How do artichokes discuss secrets_ They whisper in _hush_ puppies

How do artichokes discuss secrets? They whisper in “hush” puppies.

What’s an artichoke’s favorite kind of chip_ Poker chips, they love a gamble

What’s an artichoke’s favorite kind of chip? Poker chips, they love a gamble.

Why did the artichoke get promoted_ For being head of the _leaf_ department

Why did the artichoke get promoted? For being head of the “leaf” department.

How do artichokes get around town_ By cab-bage

How do artichokes get around town? By cab-bage.

What do artichokes wear to bed_ Their _greens

What do artichokes wear to bed? Their “greens.”

Why did the artichoke look in the mirror_ To reflect on its layers

Why did the artichoke look in the mirror? To reflect on its layers.

What do artichokes read every morning_ The _moos-paper

What do artichokes read every morning? The “moos-paper.”

What do you call an artichoke that’s in love_ Smitten in the garden

What do you call an artichoke that’s in love? Smitten in the garden.

Why do artichokes make good lawyers_ They know how to _leaf_ through files

Why do artichokes make good lawyers? They know how to “leaf” through files.

How do artichokes like to relax_ Vegging out

How do artichokes like to relax? Vegging out.

What do artichokes take when they have a cold_ Plant medicine

What do artichokes take when they have a cold? Plant medicine.

Why did the artichoke write an autobiography_ It had a story to _plant

Why did the artichoke write an autobiography? It had a story to “plant.”

What did the artichoke say at the start of the race_ _Lettuce go!

What did the artichoke say at the start of the race? “Lettuce go!”

What do artichokes wear on their feet_ Sneak-ers

What do artichokes wear on their feet? Sneak-ers.

How do artichokes communicate in secret_ They use _vine_ language

How do artichokes communicate in secret? They use “vine” language.

What’s an artichoke’s favorite type of homework_ Home-grown problems

What’s an artichoke’s favorite type of homework? Home-grown problems.

Why did the artichoke call tech support_ It needed help with its _tablets

Why did the artichoke call tech support? It needed help with its “tablets.”

What do artichokes do when they retire_ Turnip the beet!

What do artichokes do when they retire? Turnip the beet!

How do artichokes get to work_ They leaf their house early

How do artichokes get to work? They leaf their house early.

What do artichokes do on Halloween_ They go pumpkin _peeling

What do artichokes do on Halloween? They go pumpkin “peeling.”

Why don’t artichokes get invited to parties_ They could choke under pressure

Why don’t artichokes get invited to parties? They could choke under pressure.

What’s an artichoke’s favorite type of dance_ The twist

What’s an artichoke’s favorite type of dance? The twist.

How do artichokes stay informed_ They leaf through the news

How do artichokes stay informed? They leaf through the news.

Why was the artichoke always stressed_ It had too many layers to handle

Why was the artichoke always stressed? It had too many layers to handle.

What’s an artichoke’s favorite weather_ When it rains dew

What’s an artichoke’s favorite weather? When it rains dew.

Why did the artichoke become an artist_ It liked to draw leaf figures

Why did the artichoke become an artist? It liked to draw leaf figures.

What do you call an artichoke that’s always in a hurry_ Rushed-radicchio

What do you call an artichoke that’s always in a hurry? Rushed-radicchio.

Why do artichokes make bad liars_ You can see right through their leaves

Why do artichokes make bad liars? You can see right through their leaves.

What do artichokes do when they get angry_ Steam off

What do artichokes do when they get angry? Steam off.

How do artichokes stay fit_ By jogging in the park

How do artichokes stay fit? By jogging in the park.

What’s an artichoke’s favorite type of coffee Decaf-feinated.

What’s an artichoke’s favorite type of coffee? Decaf-feinated.

Why did the artichoke go to the math contest_ To add more layers

Why did the artichoke go to the math contest? To add more layers.

What do artichokes do when they see a scary movie_ Hide behind the peas

What do artichokes do when they see a scary movie? Hide behind the peas.

How do artichokes write essays_ With a _leaf_ pencil

How do artichokes write essays? With a “leaf” pencil.

What do artichokes do on Thanksgiving_ They give thanks for good soil

What do artichokes do on Thanksgiving? They give thanks for good soil.

Why did the artichoke cross the road_ To prove it wasn’t chicken!

Why did the artichoke cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken!

How do artichokes like their tea_ With a hint of mint

How do artichokes like their tea? With a hint of mint.

What do you call an artichoke with a cold_ A sniffling vegetable

What do you call an artichoke with a cold? A sniffling vegetable.

How do artichokes get into their house_ They use a _leaf_ key

How do artichokes get into their house? They use a “leaf” key.

What’s an artichoke’s favorite type of exercise_ Squash!

What’s an artichoke’s favorite type of exercise? Squash!

Why don’t artichokes like fast food_ It's not slow-cooked

Why don’t artichokes like fast food? It’s not slow-cooked.

How do artichokes sign off their letters_ _Leaf you later!

How do artichokes sign off their letters? “Leaf you later!”

Why was the artichoke a good investor_ It had a lot of _stalk_ options

Why was the artichoke a good investor? It had a lot of “stalk” options.

What’s an artichoke’s favorite superhero_ Spider-Plant Man

What’s an artichoke’s favorite superhero? Spider-Plant Man.

Written by Gabriel Cruz - Foodie, Animal Lover, Slang & Language Enthusiast

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