What do you call an asparagus who gets all the answers right? An “aspara-guess”!
Why don’t asparagus get lost? Because they always take the “stalk” way!
What’s an asparagus’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop, because it’s always hopping out of the ground!
Why was the asparagus always invited to parties? Because it’s a “spearing” partner!
How do asparagus fix a light bulb? They get a few buds to “spear” it on!
Why did the asparagus go to jail? For “stalking” its neighbors.
What do you call an asparagus in the North Pole? A “fro-spear-us”!
Why don’t asparagus ever get in trouble? They always “spear” clear of danger!
What do asparagus wear to go swimming? “Swim-spear” trunks.
Why did the asparagus get a promotion? It was always a cut above the rest!
What’s an asparagus’s favorite hobby? Spear-fishing.
Why did the asparagus call into work? It felt a bit “stalky.”
How do asparagus like their eggs? “Spear-easy.”
Why did the asparagus go to the therapist? It had too many “complex stems.”
What do you call a fancy asparagus? “Aspara-gusteau.”
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the asparagus “spearing”!
How do you describe a nosy asparagus? Always sticking its stalk in other people’s business!
Why was the asparagus a great friend? It never “speared” any feelings.
What’s an asparagus’s favorite sport? Track and field, for the long jump!
What did the asparagus say to the boiling water? It’s been nice “steaming” you!
Why did the asparagus get an award? For being outstanding in its “field.”
How do you make an asparagus smile? Compliment its “spear-it.”
Why did the asparagus join the band? It had great “chords.”
What do you call an asparagus who can sing? A “chord-ette.”
How does asparagus maintain peace? By never getting steamed!
What’s an asparagus’s favorite place? “Stalk-holm.”
Why did the asparagus go to space? To explore the “green” unknown.
What do you call an asparagus that flies? A “jet-spear.”
Why was the asparagus a good detective? It had a keen “in-spear-ation.”
What’s an asparagus’s favorite drink? A “Bloody Mary,” for the stalk.
Why did the asparagus cry? Because it missed the “salad” days.
What did one asparagus say to the other? “Stop being so green with envy!”
Why don’t asparagus get invited to parties? They can be a real “spear” in the side!
What do asparagus read every morning? The “morning-spear.”
Why was the asparagus always calm? It took things one “stalk” at a time.
What do you call a group of singing asparagus? A “chorus-spear.”
What do you call an asparagus who becomes a lawyer? A “spear-attorney.”
How do asparagus like their steaks? “Rare” with extra spears!
What’s an asparagus’s life motto? “Always take the green path.”
What did the asparagus say at the start of the race? “Ready, set, grow!”
How do asparagus celebrate their birthdays? With a big “bash-spear.”
Why did the asparagus make a good journalist? It always got to the root of the story.
What do you call an injured asparagus? A “spear-itual” healer.
Why don’t asparagus use phones? They prefer to “stalk” face-to-face.
What do asparagus eat at the movies? “Pop-spear-n.”
What’s an asparagus’s favorite magic spell? “Abra-cada-broccoli.”
How do asparagus get to the top floor? They take the “stalk-case.”
Why did the asparagus get an acting role? It knew how to play the “stalk” character.
What do you call a baby asparagus? A “spearet.”
Why did the asparagus join the military? To be a “spearhead.”
How do asparagus get up in the morning? They spring out of bed!
What do you call an asparagus with a car? A “wheel-spear.”
How do asparagus sing? In “spear-itual” harmony.
What did the asparagus say after doing a good deed? “That’s just how I roll!”
What’s an asparagus’s favorite type of movie? Anything with a good twist!
How do asparagus celebrate winning? They throw a “spear-tacular” party!
What do asparagus wear in the winter? “Stalkings.”
What do you call an asparagus who’s good at telling stories? A “spin-ach” doctor.
Why did the asparagus get hired as a chef? It had the best “stalk” recipes.
How do you describe an organized asparagus? In “tip-top spears.”
What’s an asparagus’s favorite type of art? “Spear-itual” paintings.
What do you call a playful asparagus? A “jolly green giant.”
Why did the asparagus cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken!
How do asparagus like their coffee? Decaffei-nated.
What do you call an adventurous asparagus? A “trail-spear.”
Why did the asparagus go to the dentist? It wanted a “root” canal.
How do asparagus deal with their problems? They “stalk” them out.
What do asparagus do when they retire? Stick to the garden.
Why did the asparagus start a blog? To “spear” its thoughts.
What did the asparagus say during yoga? “Let’s align our spears!”
How do you know an asparagus is sick? It looks a little pale and green.
What do you call a philosophical asparagus? A “think-spear.”
Why don’t asparagus play hide and seek? Because they’re always peaking out.
What do you call an asparagus that’s into history? A “past-spear.”
How do asparagus get strong? By lifting “stalks.”
What do you call an asparagus who can dance? A “ballroom broc.”
Why did the asparagus become a pilot? It wanted to “spear” the skies.
What do you call an asparagus that’s a hero? A “super-spear.”
What’s an asparagus’s favorite pastime? “Stemming” the tide.
Why did the asparagus go to college? To get a “stalk” degree.
What do you call an asparagus that tells jokes? A “wisecracker.”
Why are asparagus bad at secrets? They always “spear” it out.
What do asparagus do on a rainy day? Watch “dew” drops!
Why did the asparagus write a novel? It had a “stalk” of good ideas.
How do asparagus solve problems? They “stalk” it through.
Why did the asparagus go to the opera? It wanted to hear the “spear-ano” sing.
How do you make an asparagus laugh? Tell it a “corny” joke.
What do you call an asparagus in a hurry? Fast food!
Why was the asparagus always calm? It mastered “peas” of mind.
What do you call an asparagus who can paint? A “brush-spear.”
Why did the asparagus go to the hospital? To get a “stem” check.
What did the asparagus say to the burger? “Lettuce be friends.”
What do asparagus hate the most? Getting steamed up!
How do you know if an asparagus is well-read? It has lots of “pages” under its belt.
What do asparagus get when they graduate? A “diplomato.”
Why did the asparagus become a philosopher? It always thought deeply about its “roots.”
What do you call an asparagus that doesn’t want to work? Lazy greens!
How do you organize a party for asparagus? You plan a “stalk-up.”
What did the asparagus say to the chef? “Fry not?”
Why did the asparagus go to the art show? To “spear” some culture.
What’s an asparagus’s favorite type of journey? A “spear-itual” quest.