Why do we never tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. But don’t worry, the bacon doesn’t squeal!
What do you call a bacon-wrapped dinosaur? Jurassic Pork!
Why don’t bacon jokes ever get old? They’re cured!
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
What do you call bacon that’s gone bad? Spoiled rotten!
What’s a bacon’s favorite movie? Frankenswine!
How do you stop someone from stealing your bacon? Hide it in the vegetable drawer!
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
Why was the bacon acting weird? It was a bit smoked up.
How does bacon flirt? “Hey there, grill.”
Why don’t pigs like sunburn? They turn into bacon!
What’s a bacon’s idea of a good time? Sizzling in the pan.
What’s a pig’s least favorite day? Fry-day!
Why do bacon make good detectives? They always meat their deadlines.
What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog, but it still makes great bacon!
What’s a piece of bacon’s life philosophy? You’ve got to go with the fry.
What do you call a bacon wrapped around a sword? A pig-sticker.
Why did the bacon laugh? Because the egg cracked a yolk.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and legs.
Why did the bacon file a police report? It got smoked.
Why don’t bacon go to school? They’re afraid of getting fried in exams.
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together!
What’s a pig’s favorite karaoke song? “Don’t go bacon my heart!”
What did the pig say at the beach? I’m bacon in the sun!
Why do pigs never share their food? Because they’re shellfish!
What’s the most frustrating thing for a pig? When people tell them to bring home the bacon.
What’s a bacon’s worst nightmare? A veggie burger.
Why did the bacon join the army? For the grease of the country.
Why did the bacon go to rehab? It was addicted to the fryer.
How did the bacon confess its love? “I’m crispy about you!”
What’s a pig’s favorite newspaper? The Daily Squeal.
How do pigs write top secret messages? With invisible oink!
What did the daddy bacon say to the baby bacon? You’re bacon my heart melt!
Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies? Life is full of questions!
How did the bacon cheer up his friend? “Don’t worry, be hammy.”
What’s a bacon’s favorite type of weather? Misty mornings to go with the smoky flavor.
What do you call a playful piece of bacon? A pork chop!
What’s a bacon’s favorite dating app? Sizzle.
Why did the bacon sit on the sidelines? It didn’t want to get burned out.
What does bacon do to relax? It goes on a pork-cation.
Why don’t pigs drive? They’re afraid of the roadhog.
What do you call an actor who loves bacon? Kevin Bacon.
How does bacon praise itself? I’m bacon-believable!
What’s bacon’s biggest pet peeve? Being put in a cold pan.
What did the bacon say when it won a medal? I’m frying high!
What do you call bacon that’s a comedian? Porky Pig.
How do you get a bacon to start a conversation? Tell it a meaty joke.
What do you call a pig with good manners? Pork-lite.
What did the bacon say to the burger? You bring out the best in meat!
What’s a bacon’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop because it’s poppin’.
Why did the bacon lose the race? It couldn’t ketchup.
What’s bacon’s favorite play? Hamlet.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Mahogany!
Why was the bacon strip so proud? It brought home the bacon.
What’s a pig’s favorite exercise? Pig-lates.
Why do bacon make great friends? They never steak you in the back.
What do you call bacon in a bottle? A pig-me-up!
Why was the bacon strip sad? It was feeling a bit fatty.
What’s a pig’s favorite footwear? Hog-tops.
What’s the best thing about a bacon joke? It’s always in good taste.
What’s a bacon’s favorite planet? Mars, because it’s like a giant frying pan!
Why did the bacon go to space? To experience zero grease!
How do pigs greet each other? With a ham shake.
What’s a bacon’s favorite book? “Great Eggspectations.”
What’s a bacon’s favorite sport? Pig-pong.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat bacon buffet? A pig-nic.
How do you save a drowning pig? With a HAMbulance.
Why was the bacon so calm? It had a lot of inner grease.
What’s the bacon’s motto? Fry hard!
Why did the pig go to the casino? To play the slop machine.
What’s a bacon’s favorite exercise? The meat lift.
What did the bacon say to the frying pan? You crack me up!
How do you keep your bacon from curling in the pan? Take away their tiny brooms.
Why did the bacon go to the party? To sizzle the night away!
What did the bacon say when it entered the chat room? “I’m here to spice things up!”
How do pigs talk to each other? Swine language.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a pig? Frosty the snow-ham.
What did the bacon say on a snow day? Let’s go sleighing!
Why did the bacon go to jail? For ham-burglary.
What’s a bacon’s favorite type of gum? Bubble gum for the pop.
What do you call a pig thief? A hamburglar.
Why was the bacon so funny? Because it was bacon up the right tree.
How do you make a bacon roll? Push it down a hill.
What’s a bacon’s favorite horror movie? Silent Ham.
How does bacon keep its skin looking good? With oink-ment.
What’s a bacon’s favorite dance? The bacon shake.
What did the optimistic bacon say? Things will pan out.
Why was the bacon always invited to parties? Because it brings home the bacon.
What’s a bacon’s favorite carnival ride? The hamster wheel.
Why did the bacon stop playing checkers? It kept getting kinged.
What’s a bacon’s life goal? To make ends meat.
What did the bacon say to the sad egg? Don’t worry, I’ll fry with you.
What do you call a bacon wrapped around a sword? A pig-knight.
Why was the bacon always tired? Because it had too much to sizzle.
How do bacon stay informed? They read the pork-er.
Why did the bacon go to school? To improve its skillet.
What do you call a pig that can fix anything? Handy-ham.
What did the bacon say to its child at bedtime? Sleep tight, don’t let the bed hogs bite.
What’s a bacon’s favorite soap opera? Days of Our Hives.
Why did the bacon cry? Because the onion was telling sad tales.
What’s a bacon’s favorite quote? “Life’s better when you’re bacon!”