Why don’t secrets last in bakeries? Because everyone’s always loafing around!
What’s a baker’s favorite hairstyle? A bun!
Why did the baker go to therapy? To deal with his kneady personality.
Why was the baker a good musician? He knew all about sharps and flats from making bread.
What do you call a baker with a cold? Cough-dough!
What’s a baker’s favorite Beatles song? “Loaf is All You Need.”
Why was the baking show cancelled? The ratings were crumbling!
Why don’t grains use social media? They’re tired of being followed!
How do bakers greet each other? “Hey, dough you do?”
What’s a baker’s favorite animal? Breadcrumbs!
Why did the bread break up with the baker? It needed more space to rise.
What do you call an honest baker? Pure-bread.
Why don’t bakers need GPS? They loaf following their gut.
Why did the loaf of bread go to jail? It was a crusty criminal with a seedy past.
What do bakers give ladies on dates? Flours!
What’s a baker’s favorite part of a book? The flour-ward.
Why did the baker stop making donuts? He couldn’t handle the hole business.
How does a loaf of bread flirt? It just gives them a little wink.
What do bakers do on their first date? They bread and butter each other up.
Why did the baker file a police report? His recipes were stolen!
Why did the dough blush? Because it saw the rolling pin!
What’s a baker’s favorite wrestling move? The butter churn.
Why did the baker become a rock star? Because he knew how to roll.
Why was the baker in a race? He was on a roll.
How does bread win over friends? With its charming dough-eyed look.
Why was the bread loaf feeling down? It thought its life was crumby.
What did the baker say to his wife? “I’m dough lighted to meet you!”
Why did the baguette get promoted? Because it was a bread winner!
Why was the slice of bread upset with his spouse? She had too much yeast-y anger.
What do you call a sneaky bread? Stealthy whole grain.
How do you get a rise out of a baker? Say their bread is half-baked.
What do you call a bread that’s a spy? A loaf in disguise.
What did one loaf say to the other? “I knead you.”
What does bread do after it’s done baking? Loaf around.
What do you call an adventurous bread? Ciabatta!
Why was the baker a good motivational speaker? He knew how to rise to the occasion.
How did the rolls get to the party? They bread-rolled there!
What’s a baker’s favorite national park? Yeosemite!
What do you call a bread that does karate? A sourdough-chop!
What do you call a lazy bun? A slowver.
Why don’t bakers like making pretzels? Too many twists and turns.
Why did the baker become a banker? He was great at rolling in dough.
Why did the dough stop moving? It ran out of yeast!
How do bakers say goodbye? “Bread to leave so soon!”
What do you call a sad loaf? A teardrop roll.
Why did the bread go to the gym? To get toasted.
How do you make a bread dance? Put on some bunce music.
What did the bagel say to the donut? “You’re full of it!”
Why did the dough feel cramped? It was in a tinny situation.
Why don’t bread secrets last long? They tend to crumble under pressure.
What’s a baker’s life motto? Rise up, even if you fall flat.
What did the flour say to the loaf? “I saw you yeast-erday.”
Why don’t bread jokes ever get old? They have endless a-peel.
Why did the croissant go to jail? It was always cutting corners.
Why did the baker become a gardener? He was good at sowing seeds.
What’s a baker’s favorite movie genre? Yeast-erns.
Why did the bread go to the doctor? It felt crummy.
What does bread do when it breaks a law? It goes on the bun.
What’s a baker’s favorite way to travel? On a cru-station wagon.
What do you call a bread that’s past its prime? A crusty old loaf.
Why did the baker become a DJ? He loved when the beets dropped.
What’s a baker’s favorite dating strategy? Butter them up!
Why did the bagel apply for a loan? It needed some dough.
How do you impress a baker? Bring them flours.
What do you call a well-behaved bread? A goodie bun.
What does a loaf of bread say in winter? “It’s too toasty in here!”
Why was the bread actor famous? He always got good rolls.
Why don’t bread like hot weather? They just loaf and get toasty.
Why did the baker go to space? To see the Milky Whey.
What do you call a loaf that gets everywhere? Globetrotter bread.
How do you catch bread on a computer? Set a mouse trap.
Why was the bread so stressed? It had too much on its plate.
Why did the baker break up with the microwave? It was too heated.
What’s a loaf’s favorite music? Anything with a good beet.
How do you keep a loaf fresh? With a bread tie!
What did the bread do at the hockey game? Got toasted.
Why did the bread go to the art show? It liked the toast-modern exhibits.
How do you stop a bread from running away? Hide its sneakers.
What do you call a loaf without a purpose? Aimless bread.
Why did the baker meditate? To clear his mind of crumby thoughts.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
Why was the bread so rich? It had lots of dough.
Why did the baker go to art class? To learn the fine art of dough sculpting.
What do you call a loaf that loves to read? A book bun.
How does bread win an argument? With a strong counter-attack.
What did the baker say to the dough? “It’s thyme to rise!”
Why did the loaf lose the race? It couldn’t make the upper crust.
What do you call a sleeping pizza? A bed and breakfast.
Why don’t breads work alone? They knead each other.
What did the toast say to the psychiatrist? “I feel so burned out.”
How do you make a sub roll? Push it down the hill.
What do you call an angry pizza? A pepper-angry pizza.
Why was the bread so smart? It was well-bread.
Why did the dough cry? Its plans got bungled.
What do you call a loaf with a PhD? Doctor Dough.
Why was the baguette at the gym? It wanted better abs.
What did the baker say when he found his lost dough? “That’s the best thing since sliced bread!”
How did the cookie confess its love? “I’m dough-nuts about you!”
What’s a baker’s favorite haunted place? Ghoul-den brown bakery.
Why don’t breads like tight spaces? They can’t rise to the occasion.
What does bread do when it gets home? It loafs around.