101 Dad Jokes about Bamboo Shoots

Why don’t bamboo shoots get lonely_ They always stick together!

Why don’t bamboo shoots get lonely? They always stick together!

What do bamboo shoots wear to a party_ Stalk-ings!

What do bamboo shoots wear to a party? Stalk-ings!

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the bank_ To start a savings stalk

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the bank? To start a savings stalk.

What do you call a bamboo shoot that’s a spy_ A plant in disguise

What do you call a bamboo shoot that’s a spy? A plant in disguise.

How do bamboo shoots stay in touch_ They keep tabloids

How do bamboo shoots stay in touch? They keep tabloids.

Why did the bamboo shoot get promoted_ It was outstanding in its field!

Why did the bamboo shoot get promoted? It was outstanding in its field!

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite kind of music_ Root rock

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite kind of music? Root rock.

Why don’t bamboo shoots get lost_ They always take the natural path

Why don’t bamboo shoots get lost? They always take the natural path.

How do bamboo shoots greet each other_ “Hay there!”

How do bamboo shoots greet each other? “Hay there!”

What did the older bamboo shoot say to the younger one_ “Watch out, I’m a seasoned pro.”

What did the older bamboo shoot say to the younger one? “Watch out, I’m a seasoned pro.”

Why did the bamboo shoot go to jail_ For stalking too much

Why did the bamboo shoot go to jail? For stalking too much.

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite drink_ Plant-based smoothies

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite drink? Plant-based smoothies.

Why was the bamboo shoot so calm_ It had great inner peas

Why was the bamboo shoot so calm? It had great inner peas.

How do bamboo shoots like to dance_ By swaying in the wind!

How do bamboo shoots like to dance? By swaying in the wind!

What do you call a bamboo shoot after it retires_ A pensioner plant

What do you call a bamboo shoot after it retires? A pensioner plant.

Why did the bamboo shoot start a business_ It wanted to grow its assets

Why did the bamboo shoot start a business? It wanted to grow its assets.

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite horror movie_ The Silence of the Limbs

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Limbs.

How do you organize a party in the jungle_ You bamboo-zle everyone into coming!

How do you organize a party in the jungle? You bamboo-zle everyone into coming!

Why did the bamboo shoot go to school_ To improve its “stalk” market skills

Why did the bamboo shoot go to school? To improve its “stalk” market skills.

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite fairy tale_ Jack and the Beanstalk

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite fairy tale? Jack and the Beanstalk.

How do bamboo shoots stay so slim_ They always eat light

How do bamboo shoots stay so slim? They always eat light.

Why don’t bamboo shoots ever get into arguments_ They can’t handle the reed!

Why don’t bamboo shoots ever get into arguments? They can’t handle the reed!

What do bamboo shoots do when they break a leg_ They use a splint-er!

What do bamboo shoots do when they break a leg? They use a splint-er!

How do bamboo shoots stay updated_ They read the morning paper

How do bamboo shoots stay updated? They read the morning paper.

Why did the bamboo shoot stop playing chess_ Too many board games

Why did the bamboo shoot stop playing chess? Too many board games.

What do you call a lazy bamboo shoot_ A bum-boo

What do you call a lazy bamboo shoot? A bum-boo.

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the party_ To raise the roof

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the party? To raise the roof.

What do bamboo shoots say when they make a mistake_ “Wood you believe I did that_”

What do bamboo shoots say when they make a mistake? “Wood you believe I did that?”

Why did the bamboo shoot visit the therapist_ It had too much pent-up plant-ential

Why did the bamboo shoot visit the therapist? It had too much pent-up plant-ential.

How do bamboo shoots get to school_ By bush

How do bamboo shoots get to school? By bush.

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite type of restaurant_ Garden cafes

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite type of restaurant? Garden cafes.

Why did the bamboo shoot get a ticket_ For speeding along the garden path

Why did the bamboo shoot get a ticket? For speeding along the garden path.

What do you call a scared bamboo shoot_ A chicken plant

What do you call a scared bamboo shoot? A chicken plant.

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite game_ Twigs and ladders

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite game? Twigs and ladders.

How do bamboo shoots stay cool_ Leaf conditioning

How do bamboo shoots stay cool? Leaf conditioning.

What did the bamboo shoot say to the fern_ “Wanna leaf this place and go photosynthesize_”

What did the bamboo shoot say to the fern? “Wanna leaf this place and go photosynthesize?”

Why do bamboo shoots make terrible liars_ You can see right through their stalks

Why do bamboo shoots make terrible liars? You can see right through their stalks.

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite type of math_ Square roots

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite type of math? Square roots.

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the dance_ To get its groove on

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the dance? To get its groove on.

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite day of the week_ Sprout-day

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite day of the week? Sprout-day.

How do bamboo shoots enter a room_ They make a big entrance

How do bamboo shoots enter a room? They make a big entrance.

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the psychiatrist_ It felt empty inside

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the psychiatrist? It felt empty inside.

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite TV show_ Green Thrones

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite TV show? Green Thrones.

Why did the bamboo shoot get an award_ For outstanding field work

Why did the bamboo shoot get an award? For outstanding field work.

What do you call a fashionable bamboo shoot_ A sharp-dressed plant

What do you call a fashionable bamboo shoot? A sharp-dressed plant.

How do bamboo shoots write letters_ With a pen and twig

How do bamboo shoots write letters? With a pen and twig.

What do bamboo shoots order at a bar_ Leaf on the Beach

What do bamboo shoots order at a bar? Leaf on the Beach.

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite superhero_ The Green Lantern

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite superhero? The Green Lantern.

Why did the bamboo shoot get a standing ovation_ For its stellar performance

Why did the bamboo shoot get a standing ovation? For its stellar performance.

Why don’t bamboo shoots play poker in the jungle_ Too many cheetahs

Why don’t bamboo shoots play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

What do bamboo shoots do on a hot day_ Chill under the canopy

What do bamboo shoots do on a hot day? Chill under the canopy.

Why did the bamboo shoot go to college_ To major in botany

Why did the bamboo shoot go to college? To major in botany.

What do you call a bamboo shoot that’s a detective_ Sherlock Stalks

What do you call a bamboo shoot that’s a detective? Sherlock Stalks.

How do bamboo shoots keep secrets_ They stow them away

How do bamboo shoots keep secrets? They stow them away.

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite activity_ Branching out

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite activity? Branching out.

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the tailor_ It needed a new jacket

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the tailor? It needed a new jacket.

What do you call a bamboo shoot who paints_ Vincent Van Grow

What do you call a bamboo shoot who paints? Vincent Van Grow.

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the optician_ For better plant sight

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the optician? For better plant sight.

What do bamboo shoots sing in the shower_ Chlorophyll harmonies

What do bamboo shoots sing in the shower? Chlorophyll harmonies.

How do you know when a bamboo shoot is sad_ It starts wilting

How do you know when a bamboo shoot is sad? It starts wilting.

What did the bamboo shoot say to the salad_ “Lettuce be friends.”

What did the bamboo shoot say to the salad? “Lettuce be friends.”

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the gym_ To work on its stems

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the gym? To work on its stems.

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite book_ “Great Eggs-pectations.”

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite book? “Great Eggs-pectations.”

How do bamboo shoots send mail_ By parcel post

How do bamboo shoots send mail? By parcel post.

What do bamboo shoots do when they get home_ Plant themselves on the couch

What do bamboo shoots do when they get home? Plant themselves on the couch.

Why did the bamboo shoot go on a diet_ To cut down on its carbs

Why did the bamboo shoot go on a diet? To cut down on its carbs.

How do bamboo shoots celebrate their birthday_ They throw a planty

How do bamboo shoots celebrate their birthday? They throw a planty.

What do bamboo shoots wear to sleep_ Leaf-jamas

What do bamboo shoots wear to sleep? Leaf-jamas.

Why don’t bamboo shoots play hide and seek_ Because they always leaf their spot

Why don’t bamboo shoots play hide and seek? Because they always leaf their spot.

What do you call a group of bamboo shoots_ A bushel of laughs

What do you call a group of bamboo shoots? A bushel of laughs.

How do bamboo shoots stay clean_ They take a photoshower

How do bamboo shoots stay clean? They take a photoshower.

Why did the bamboo shoot start a blog_ To share its rooted thoughts

Why did the bamboo shoot start a blog? To share its rooted thoughts.

What did the bamboo shoot say at the race_ “I’m rooting for you!”

What did the bamboo shoot say at the race? “I’m rooting for you!”

How do bamboo shoots do their laundry_ They spin it on the vine

How do bamboo shoots do their laundry? They spin it on the vine.

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite kitchen appliance_ The blender

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite kitchen appliance? The blender.

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the library_ To check out some leaflets

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the library? To check out some leaflets.

How do bamboo shoots stay warm in winter_ They snuggle up in leaf piles

How do bamboo shoots stay warm in winter? They snuggle up in leaf piles.

What do bamboo shoots say when they get hurt_ “Ouch, that smarts!”

What do bamboo shoots say when they get hurt? “Ouch, that smarts!”

Why don’t bamboo shoots use phones_ They’re not up to date with tech-nology

Why don’t bamboo shoots use phones? They’re not up to date with tech-nology.

What do you call a bamboo shoot with rhythm_ A beat sprout

What do you call a bamboo shoot with rhythm? A beat sprout.

Why was the bamboo shoot so successful_ It always reached new heights

Why was the bamboo shoot so successful? It always reached new heights.

How do bamboo shoots get famous_ By going viral

How do bamboo shoots get famous? By going viral.

What do you call a bamboo shoot that acts_ A drama plant

What do you call a bamboo shoot that acts? A drama plant.

Why don’t bamboo shoots get into trouble_ They know how to behave

Why don’t bamboo shoots get into trouble? They know how to behave.

How do bamboo shoots make decisions_ They stem from logic

How do bamboo shoots make decisions? They stem from logic.

What did the bamboo shoot say to its friend_ “You’re unbe-leaf-able!”

What did the bamboo shoot say to its friend? “You’re unbe-leaf-able!”

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite kind of pie_ Pumpkin, because it’s seasonal

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite kind of pie? Pumpkin, because it’s seasonal.

Why did the bamboo shoot stop moving_ It set down roots

Why did the bamboo shoot stop moving? It set down roots.

What do you call a bamboo shoot that tells tall tales_ A fib-rous plant

What do you call a bamboo shoot that tells tall tales? A fib-rous plant.

Why do bamboo shoots never get lost_ They always find a pathway

Why do bamboo shoots never get lost? They always find a pathway.

How do bamboo shoots travel_ They just pack up and leaf

How do bamboo shoots travel? They just pack up and leaf.

What do bamboo shoots wear to weddings_ Floral arrangements

What do bamboo shoots wear to weddings? Floral arrangements.

What did the bamboo shoot say to the mushroom_ “You’re a fungi!”

What did the bamboo shoot say to the mushroom? “You’re a fungi!”

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the doctor_ It felt a bit green

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the doctor? It felt a bit green.

How do bamboo shoots relax_ They leaf through a magazine

How do bamboo shoots relax? They leaf through a magazine.

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite candy_ Root beer barrels

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite candy? Root beer barrels.

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the opera_ It wanted to see the high Cs

Why did the bamboo shoot go to the opera? It wanted to see the high Cs.

What do bamboo shoots do at the park_ Photosynthesize and chill

What do bamboo shoots do at the park? Photosynthesize and chill.

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite hobby_ Weeding out problems

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite hobby? Weeding out problems.

Why did the bamboo shoot study finance_ To get into the green

Why did the bamboo shoot study finance? To get into the green.

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite type of movie_ Anything uplifting!

What’s a bamboo shoot’s favorite type of movie? Anything uplifting!

Written by Gabriel Cruz - Foodie, Animal Lover, Slang & Language Enthusiast

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