Why don’t beans give secrets away? Because they’re full of beanz.
What’s a bean’s favorite place to go? The coffee shop, for a bean-up.
Why did the bean go to school? To improve its “bean-ledge.”
Why did the bean win an award? For outstanding perform-ants in its field.
What do you call a very sad coffee bean? A depresso.
What’s a bean’s favorite thing to read? The can-stitution.
Why did the bean join the orchestra? It had great musical beanz.
How do you tell if a bean is in a good mood? It’s always chili.
What did the father bean say to his son? “I’ve bean thinking of you!”
Why don’t beans play hide and seek? Because they always spill the beans.
What do you call a bean that’s into fitness? A jumpin’ bean.
Why did the bean start a blog? To espresso itself.
What’s a bean’s favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
How do beans say hello? “Hey there, soy mate!”
Why are beans never bored at work? They find everything amaize-ing.
What do you call a fashionable bean? A stylish legume.
How do you make a bean laugh? Crack-er a corny joke.
Why are beans the best vegetables? They always come through in the crunch.
What’s a bean’s favorite sport? Frisbean.
Why was the bean always calm? It never let things stew.
What do you call a smart bean? A brainbean.
What did one bean say to the other? “Let’s stick together!”
Why do beans make good detectives? They can always get to the root of the problem.
What do beans wear to bed? Their pa-jamas.
Why did the bean stop playing football? It was tired of being kicked around.
What do you call a nosy bean? A snoop bean.
What did the bean say when it solved the puzzle? “I legume it out!”
Why did the bean become a gardener? It wanted to grow its network.
How do beans get to work? They take the bean-o.
Why was the bean so good at math? It knew its multiples.
What do beans do on their day off? Chill out!
Why did the bean go to therapy? It felt hollow inside.
What did the old bean say? “I’ve lived a full pod.”
Why are beans good at chess? They know how to open with a ploy.
What’s a bean’s favorite fairytale? Jack and the Beanstalk.
Why don’t beans get lost? They always keep their bearings.
How do you impress a bean? Just be charming and extroverted.
What do beans do at the movies? They root for the underdog.
Why did the bean write a letter? To curry flavor.
What’s a bean’s life motto? “Grind hard, dream bean.”
How do you make a bean filet? Carefully.
What did the bean say when it got a promotion? “I’m moving up in the world!”
Why do beans never spill secrets? They’re the best-kept secrets.
How do beans greet each other? “What’s stewing?”
Why did the bean go to the party? To raise the bar-bean-que.
What’s a bean’s favorite kind of music? Anything with a good beet.
What do beans do when they’re in trouble? They call a legumeyer.
Why are beans so good at running businesses? They stay grounded.
What did the bean say to the potato? “Let’s root for each other.”
Why don’t beans play poker? They hate to lose their shirts.
What’s a bean’s favorite holiday? New Year’s Eve, for the countdown.
How do beans write a book? One word at a time.
Why did the bean go to the doctor? It had a splitting headache.
What do you call a group of musical beans? A pod-cast.
What’s a bean’s favorite board game? The Game of Life.
Why are beans such good musicians? They have natural rhythm.
What do beans do on a rainy day? Enjoy a mud bath.
Why did the bean go to the gym? To get baked.
What do beans say when they’re ready to eat? “It’s chow time!”
Why don’t beans like the summer? Too many can-ned experiences.
How do beans celebrate their birthday? With a bash.
What did the bean say after a long day? “Time to recharge!”
Why did the bean get an award? For bean outstanding.
What’s a bean’s favorite type of dance? Anything with a spin.
Why don’t beans get stressed? They’re too busy being fabulous.
How do beans stay fit? By staying active.
What do you call a bean that doesn’t sink? A bobbing bean.
What’s a bean’s favorite kind of dog? Any breed, as long as it’s fetching.
How do you get a bean to stop bouncing? You don’t, just enjoy the show.
What’s a bean’s favorite day? Fry-day.
Why do beans go to school? To become well-read.
What do you call a bean in charge? The head honcho.
How do beans get ahead? By staying on top of their game.
What do you call a group of beans on vacation? A pod of tourists.
Why do beans love the library? For all the cookbooks.
What do beans use to clean their teeth? A tooth-pick.
How do beans stay organized? By keeping tabs on everything.
What’s a bean’s favorite gadget? Anything that simplifies life.
Why did the bean write a diary? To document its sprouting ideas.
What do you call a sneaky bean? Incognito.
How do you know a bean is excited? It can’t stop grinning.
Why don’t beans get involved in drama? They don’t need the hassle.
What’s a bean’s favorite kind of soup? Anything hearty.
How do beans say goodbye? “See you spoon!”
Why did the bean start a podcast? To spread the word.
What’s a bean’s favorite winter activity? Snow-pea fighting.
How do you make a bean’s day? Give it a compliment.
What’s a bean’s favorite way to travel? Any way they can roll.
How do beans handle stress? They take it one sip at a time.
What do you call a tired bean? Sleepy.
Why did the bean volunteer at the hospital? To give back.
How do beans make decisions? They weigh their options.
What’s a bean’s favorite kind of math? Algebra, because of the formulas.
Why don’t beans play basketball? They’re afraid of getting dunked.
What’s a bean’s favorite time of day? Bean-thirty.
How do beans get attention? They spout off.
What’s a bean’s favorite Shakespeare play? The Taming of the Stew.
How do you know a bean is in charge? It’s stirring the pot.
What do you call a bean with no friends? Lonely.
Why did the bean start a charity? To make a difference.
What’s a bean’s favorite kind of weather? Anything that’s not too chili.