Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Why did the cow go to outer space? To see the moo-n!
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? A moo-sician!
Why did the steak go to the gym? It wanted to get beefy!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Why was the beef always nervous? It had a lot at steak!
What do you call a cow on your lawn at night? A lawn moo-er.
What do you get when you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow? An animal that’s in a baaaaad moooood.
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work!
What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake!
What’s a cow’s favorite holiday? Moo Year’s Day!
What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A milk dud or an udder failure.
Why do cows go to New York? To see the moosicals!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
Why don’t cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry!
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? “It’s pasture bedtime.”
What do you call a cow that can’t moo? Mute!
Why did the cow start a fight with the butcher? He had beef.
What’s a cow’s favorite moosic genre? Moo-town!
Why don’t cows have feet? Because they lactose!
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
What did the cow say to the steak? “Well done!”
Why did the cow bring a map to the party? To find the milky way!
What happens when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Udder destruction.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
How do cows stay up to date? They read the moos-paper.
What do you call when one cow spies on another cow? A steak out.
What did one dairy cow say to another? “Got milk?”
How do you make a burger smile? Pickle it gently!
Why do cows have hooves? Because they moo-ve a lot.
What do you call a cow that’s just given birth? De-calf-inated!
What do you call a cow that cuts the grass? A lawn moo-er.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a trampoline? A milkshake!
Why did the cow join the band? Because it had great moo-ves.
What’s a cow’s favorite place to visit? Moo York.
What’s a cow’s favorite newspaper? The Daily Moos.
Why did the steak apply for a job? It wanted to bring home the bacon!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
Why don’t cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry.
What do you call a cow spy? A steak-out.
How do you make a hamburger smile? Pickle it gently.
Why did the steak go to the gym? It wanted to get beefy.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument? A moo-sician!
Why was the beef always nervous? It had a lot at steak.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
Why don’t cows trust anyone? They have beef with everyone.
How do you stop someone from stealing your steak? You beef up security.
What’s a cow’s favorite place to visit? Moo York.
What do you call a cow that’s just given birth? Decalfinated.
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? A lawn moo-er.
What do you call a cow’s best friend? A beef-friender.
Why do cows go to space? To visit the Milky Way.
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime.
What do you call an exploding cow? A bomb-in-a-bull.
What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? Laughing stock.
What do cows read every morning? The moos-paper.
Why don’t cows ever have money? Because the farmers milk them dry.
What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake!
How does a cow become invisible? By using moo-flage.
What do you call a cow that can cut the grass? A lawn moo-er.
What do you call a cow with full armor? Sir Loin.
What happens when a cow stops shaving? It grows a moo-stache.
What do you call a cow that can play the drums? A moo-sician.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
What did the steak say to the hamburger? You’re ground!
Why did the cow become an astronaut? To see the moooon up close.
What do you get when a cow jumps on a trampoline? A milk shake.
Why did the beef sue the chicken? It had a bone to pick.
What do you call it when one cowspies on another cow? A steak out.
How do you make a steak laugh? Beef-tickle it!
What’s a cow’s favorite TV show? The Walking Dead—because of the cow-zombies!
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
What’s a cow’s favorite holiday? Moo Year’s Eve.
How do you keep a bull from charging? Take away its credit card.
What did the cow say to the steak? I feel like I’ve seen you before!
Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you get when you cross an angry cow and a grumpy sheep? An animal that’s in a baaaaaad moooood.
What do you call a cow who won’t give milk? A milk dud.
What do you call a cow with three legs? Tri-tip.
Why do cows never give away their money? Because they’re cow-ards.
How do cows stay up to date with current events? They read the moos-paper.
What do you call a cow that eats your grass? A lawn moo-er.
What do cows use to text each other? Emoojis.
Why did the cow start a podcast? To share the moos.
What’s a cow’s favorite place to hang out? The moo-vies.
Why don’t cows have any secrets? Because they always tend to moo.
What do you call a cow that’s just had her baby? Decaffeinated.
What’s a cow’s favorite type of math? Moo-tiplication.
Why did the cow go to therapy? It had too much emotional bag-moo-age.
What do you call an artistic cow? A moo-seum curator.
How do you count cows? With a cowculator.
What do you call a cow who’s just been knighted? Sir Loin.
Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don’t work!
What do you call a cow with full armor? Sir Loin.
What do you call a cow that’s just had a calf? Decalfinated.
What do you call a cow that can do magic tricks? Moo-dini.
Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the milky way.
What do cows do when they get bored? They go to the moo-vies.