101 Dad Jokes about Biscuits

Why don’t secrets last in a bakery? Because everyone’s always buttering up the biscuits!

Why don’t secrets last in a bakery? Because everyone’s always buttering up the biscuits!

What do you call a biscuit that acts tough? A hardtack!

What do you call a biscuit that acts tough? A hardtack!

How do you keep your biscuits fresh? You tell them cool jokes!

How do you keep your biscuits fresh? You tell them cool jokes!

Why did the biscuit cry? Because his mom was a wafer so long!

Why did the biscuit cry? Because his mom was a wafer so long!

What do you call an honest biscuit? Pure-bread.

What do you call an honest biscuit? Pure-bread.

How do biscuits resolve their problems? They crumble them!

How do biscuits resolve their problems? They crumble them!

What's a biscuit's favorite weather? Floury storms.

What’s a biscuit’s favorite weather? Floury storms.

Why don't biscuits do well in school? Too many jam sessions!

Why don’t biscuits do well in school? Too many jam sessions!

What's a biscuit’s favorite movie? Gone with the Wheat!

What’s a biscuit’s favorite movie? Gone with the Wheat!

Why did the biscuit go to therapy? It felt crumby.

Why did the biscuit go to therapy? It felt crumby.

What type of biscuit can fly? A plain one!

What type of biscuit can fly? A plain one!

How do biscuits stay up to date? They read the cook-y news!

How do biscuits stay up to date? They read the cook-y news!

Why did the biscuit join the band? Because it had great jam.

Why did the biscuit join the band? Because it had great jam.

What do you call a biscuit that's a good listener? A cracker!

What do you call a biscuit that’s a good listener? A cracker!

Why was the biscuit so good at hockey? Because it was a puck-er!

Why was the biscuit so good at hockey? Because it was a puck-er!

What do biscuits do for fun? They go to the dough-co!

What do biscuits do for fun? They go to the dough-co!

What do you get when you cross a biscuit and a monster? A crumby mummy!

What do you get when you cross a biscuit and a monster? A crumby mummy!

How do you know a biscuit is finished talking? It butters down.

How do you know a biscuit is finished talking? It butters down.

What's a biscuit's favorite sport? Cricket. They love to bat-ter!

What’s a biscuit’s favorite sport? Cricket. They love to bat-ter!

Why are biscuits never lonely? Because they come in packs!

Why are biscuits never lonely? Because they come in packs!

What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!

What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!

Why don’t biscuits like warm weather? It makes them feel crummy!

Why don’t biscuits like warm weather? It makes them feel crummy!

How did the biscuit win the debate? With its sharp wits and snappy comebacks!

How did the biscuit win the debate? With its sharp wits and snappy comebacks!

What's a biscuit's favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat-er.

What’s a biscuit’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat-er.

Why did the biscuit sit in the sun? To get a tan before it was dunked.

Why did the biscuit sit in the sun? To get a tan before it was dunked.

What do you call a biscuit that’s an expert? A crackerjack!

What do you call a biscuit that’s an expert? A crackerjack!

Why don’t biscuits do well in sports? They crumble under pressure.

Why don’t biscuits do well in sports? They crumble under pressure.

What’s a biscuit's life goal? To make dough.

What’s a biscuit’s life goal? To make dough.

What do you call a biscuit that’s been blessed? Holy Bread!

What do you call a biscuit that’s been blessed? Holy Bread!

Why did the biscuit take a nap? To rest its doughy head.

Why did the biscuit take a nap? To rest its doughy head.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.

What’s a biscuit’s favorite kind of joke? A crumby one!

What’s a biscuit’s favorite kind of joke? A crumby one!

Why did the biscuit go to jail? For resisting a rest.

Why did the biscuit go to jail? For resisting a rest.

What did the biscuit say after breaking up? "It's not you, it's me-al."

What did the biscuit say after breaking up? “It’s not you, it’s me-al.”

Why don't biscuits like traffic? It makes them lose their filling.

Why don’t biscuits like traffic? It makes them lose their filling.

How do biscuits greet each other? "Hey, dough you do?"

How do biscuits greet each other? “Hey, dough you do?”

What's a biscuit’s least favorite street? Crumb-lane.

What’s a biscuit’s least favorite street? Crumb-lane.

What do you call a biscuit that doesn’t go bad? A survivor!

What do you call a biscuit that doesn’t go bad? A survivor!

How do biscuits stay safe? By staying out of the jam.

How do biscuits stay safe? By staying out of the jam.

hy was the biscuit a good secret agent? It always stayed cool under baking pressure.

Why was the biscuit a good secret agent? It always stayed cool under baking pressure.

What's a biscuit's favorite nursery rhyme? Pat-a-cake!

What’s a biscuit’s favorite nursery rhyme? Pat-a-cake!

Why did the biscuit bring a broom to the dance? To sweep up the crumbs!

Why did the biscuit bring a broom to the dance? To sweep up the crumbs!

What did the biscuit say to the loaf of bread? "Crust me, you're loafing around!"

What did the biscuit say to the loaf of bread? “Crust me, you’re loafing around!”

Why was the biscuit bank empty? It had been dough-robbed!

Why was the biscuit bank empty? It had been dough-robbed!

What makes a biscuit sad? A soggy bottom.

What makes a biscuit sad? A soggy bottom.

What do biscuits call their significant others? Honeybuns.

What do biscuits call their significant others? Honeybuns.

Why did the biscuit go to the art gallery? To get a taste of the fine arts.

Why did the biscuit go to the art gallery? To get a taste of the fine arts.

What do you call a biscuit that's been out in the sun too long? A toasty!

What do you call a biscuit that’s been out in the sun too long? A toasty!

Why are biscuits like computers? They have chips too!

Why are biscuits like computers? They have chips too!

What did the biscuit say on its birthday? "I'm baked!"

What did the biscuit say on its birthday? “I’m baked!”

What's a biscuit's favorite ride at the amusement park? The roller toaster!

What’s a biscuit’s favorite ride at the amusement park? The roller toaster!

Why did the biscuit go to space? To see the Milky Whey.

Why did the biscuit go to space? To see the Milky Whey.

What did one biscuit say to the other? "You're my butter half."

What did one biscuit say to the other? “You’re my butter half.”

How do you stop someone from stealing your biscuits? Hide the cookie jar!

How do you stop someone from stealing your biscuits? Hide the cookie jar!

Why did the biscuit join the army? To be a roll model.

Why did the biscuit join the army? To be a roll model.

What’s a biscuit’s idea of a balanced diet? A cookie in each hand.

What’s a biscuit’s idea of a balanced diet? A cookie in each hand.

What do biscuits wear to the beach? Flip-doughs.

What do biscuits wear to the beach? Flip-doughs.

Why don’t biscuits make good detectives? They always leave crumbs.

Why don’t biscuits make good detectives? They always leave crumbs.

What did the biscuit say when it saw an oven? "That’s hot stuff!"

What did the biscuit say when it saw an oven? “That’s hot stuff!”

Why did the biscuit break up with the jam? It needed its space.

Why did the biscuit break up with the jam? It needed its space.

What’s a biscuit's favorite gymnastics move? The doughnut roll.

What’s a biscuit’s favorite gymnastics move? The doughnut roll.

Why don't biscuits like sloppy kitchens? They hate getting into sticky situations.

Why don’t biscuits like sloppy kitchens? They hate getting into sticky situations.

What's a romantic biscuit's favorite word? Doughlightful!

What’s a romantic biscuit’s favorite word? Doughlightful!

Why did the biscuit go to the dentist? It lost its filling.

Why did the biscuit go to the dentist? It lost its filling.

What do biscuits do on a rainy day? Watch cookie dough movies.

What do biscuits do on a rainy day? Watch cookie dough movies.

Why don't biscuits play hide and seek? Because good ones are hard to find.

Why don’t biscuits play hide and seek? Because good ones are hard to find.

What do you call a group of singing biscuits? A dough-choir.

What do you call a group of singing biscuits? A dough-choir.

Why did the biscuit write a letter? To say bread-y greetings!

Why did the biscuit write a letter? To say bread-y greetings!

What do you call a biscuit in a bad mood? A sourdough.

What do you call a biscuit in a bad mood? A sourdough.

Why was the biscuit book boring? Too many dry jokes.

Why was the biscuit book boring? Too many dry jokes.

What did the biscuit say to the cheese? "You're grating!"

What did the biscuit say to the cheese? “You’re grating!”

Why don’t biscuits like chaos? It crumbles their style.

Why don’t biscuits like chaos? It crumbles their style.

What do you call a biscuit that goes to college? An educated crumb.

What do you call a biscuit that goes to college? An educated crumb.

How do biscuits reveal secrets? Under breader.

How do biscuits reveal secrets? Under breader.

What’s a biscuit's favorite type of dog? A pure-bread.

What’s a biscuit’s favorite type of dog? A pure-bread.

Why did the biscuit go to the party? It heard there was a toast.

Why did the biscuit go to the party? It heard there was a toast.

How do you know a biscuit is thinking? It butters to itself.

How do you know a biscuit is thinking? It butters to itself.

What did the biscuit say to the elevator? "You lift me up!"

What did the biscuit say to the elevator? “You lift me up!”

Why do biscuits make good actors? They know how to roll with it.

Why do biscuits make good actors? They know how to roll with it.

What did the biscuit do at the library? Booked it!

What did the biscuit do at the library? Booked it!

Why was the biscuit always late? It kept loafing around.

Why was the biscuit always late? It kept loafing around.

What’s a biscuit’s favorite part of the newspaper? The upper crust.

What’s a biscuit’s favorite part of the newspaper? The upper crust.

Why did the biscuit complain at the restaurant? It got a half-baked service.

Why did the biscuit complain at the restaurant? It got a half-baked service.

What do you call a biscuit on a boat? A sea biscuit!

What do you call a biscuit on a boat? A sea biscuit!

How do biscuits stay cool? They chill with the doughs.

How do biscuits stay cool? They chill with the doughs.

Why did the biscuit become a teacher? To butter up young minds.

Why did the biscuit become a teacher? To butter up young minds.

What did the biscuit say when it won a race? "I'm on a roll!"

What did the biscuit say when it won a race? “I’m on a roll!”

Why was the biscuit at the bottom of the box? It crumbled under pressure.

Why was the biscuit at the bottom of the box? It crumbled under pressure.

How do you make a biscuit cry? Take away its cookie jar.

How do you make a biscuit cry? Take away its cookie jar.

What's a biscuit's favorite board game? Crumble-opoly.

What’s a biscuit’s favorite board game? Crumble-opoly.

What did the biscuit say to the clock? "Time to get toasted!"

What did the biscuit say to the clock? “Time to get toasted!”

Why did the biscuit go to the gym? To get all toasty.

Why did the biscuit go to the gym? To get all toasty.

What do you call a biscuit that tells jokes? A crack-up!

What do you call a biscuit that tells jokes? A crack-up!

Why don't biscuits work well in offices? They're too flaky.

Why don’t biscuits work well in offices? They’re too flaky.

How did the biscuit get a job? It knew how to roll out the resume.

How did the biscuit get a job? It knew how to roll out the resume.

Why did the biscuit complain in the store? It felt shelf-conscious.

Why did the biscuit complain in the store? It felt shelf-conscious.

What did the biscuit do on New Year's Eve? Popped a fresh can!

What did the biscuit do on New Year’s Eve? Popped a fresh can!

What do you call a biscuit after a workout? Kneaded dough.

What do you call a biscuit after a workout? Kneaded dough.

Why did the biscuit go to the dance? It wanted to dough-si-dough.

Why did the biscuit go to the dance? It wanted to dough-si-dough.

What do biscuits do when they're in trouble? They crumble under the pressure.

What do biscuits do when they’re in trouble? They crumble under the pressure.

Why did the biscuit go to the spa? It needed some kneading.

Why did the biscuit go to the spa? It needed some kneading.

 

Written by Gabriel Cruz - Foodie, Animal Lover, Slang & Language Enthusiast

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