101 Dad Jokes about Black-Eyed peas

Why don't black-eyed peas ever get lonely? Because they always come in pods!

Why don’t black-eyed peas ever get lonely? Because they always come in pods!

What do you call a black-eyed pea with a cold? A sneeze-pea!

What do you call a black-eyed pea with a cold? A sneeze-pea!

What do you call a black-eyed pea with a cold? A sneeze-pea!

How do black-eyed peas leave a party? They split the scene!

Why are black-eyed peas bad liars? You can always see right through their pods!

Why are black-eyed peas bad liars? You can always see right through their pods!

What do you call a black-eyed pea that plays the piano? A key-pea!

What do you call a black-eyed pea that plays the piano? A key-pea!

How do black-eyed peas practice self-defense? By practicing "Pea-Kwon-Do"!

How do black-eyed peas practice self-defense? By practicing “Pea-Kwon-Do”!

What's a black-eyed pea’s favorite book? "To Kill a Mockingbird Pea."

What’s a black-eyed pea’s favorite book? “To Kill a Mockingbird Pea.”

Why did the black-eyed pea win an award? For being the best in the field!

Why did the black-eyed pea win an award? For being the best in the field!

What do you call a black-eyed pea on a skateboard? A rolling pea!

What do you call a black-eyed pea on a skateboard? A rolling pea!

What did one black-eyed pea say to another? "We're like two peas in a pod!"

What did one black-eyed pea say to another? “We’re like two peas in a pod!”

Why do black-eyed peas make good friends? Because they’re always there when you stew over things!

Why do black-eyed peas make good friends? Because they’re always there when you stew over things!

What's a black-eyed pea’s favorite type of music? Hip-pea-hop!

What’s a black-eyed pea’s favorite type of music? Hip-pea-hop!

Why was the black-eyed pea always calm? It never panned out!

Why was the black-eyed pea always calm? It never panned out!

What do black-eyed peas wear to work? Pea-coats!

What do black-eyed peas wear to work? Pea-coats!

How do black-eyed peas stay informed? They pod-cast!

How do black-eyed peas stay informed? They pod-cast!

Why don't black-eyed peas like drama? They prefer things peas-ful!

Why don’t black-eyed peas like drama? They prefer things peas-ful!

What do you call a group of singing black-eyed peas? A peapella group!

What do you call a group of singing black-eyed peas? A peapella group!

Why did the black-eyed pea stop halfway up the hill? It ran out of steam!

Why did the black-eyed pea stop halfway up the hill? It ran out of steam!

What do you call a lazy black-eyed pea? A sloth-pea!

What do you call a lazy black-eyed pea? A sloth-pea!

What's a black-eyed pea’s favorite game? Poddy training!

What’s a black-eyed pea’s favorite game? Poddy training!

Why do black-eyed peas make good soldiers? They're great in the field!

Why do black-eyed peas make good soldiers? They’re great in the field!

What do you call a black-eyed pea in a spaceship? An astro-pea!

What do you call a black-eyed pea in a spaceship? An astro-pea!

Why did the black-eyed pea go to jail? For disturbing the peas!

Why did the black-eyed pea go to jail? For disturbing the peas!

What's a black-eyed pea's favorite way to travel? By legume-o-sine!

What’s a black-eyed pea’s favorite way to travel? By legume-o-sine!

How do black-eyed peas write secret messages? In code-pea!

How do black-eyed peas write secret messages? In code-pea!

Why don’t black-eyed peas get stressed? They always keep their cool in the can!

Why don’t black-eyed peas get stressed? They always keep their cool in the can!

What did the black-eyed pea say to the carrot? "Let’s root for each other!"

What did the black-eyed pea say to the carrot? “Let’s root for each other!”

Why was the black-eyed pea a good comedian? It always knew how to stir up laughter!

Why was the black-eyed pea a good comedian? It always knew how to stir up laughter!

How do black-eyed peas succeed? By seizing every oppor-pea-nity!

How do black-eyed peas succeed? By seizing every oppor-pea-nity!

Why do black-eyed peas make terrible secrets? They always spill the beans!

Why do black-eyed peas make terrible secrets? They always spill the beans!

What's a black-eyed pea's favorite sport? Fris-pea!

What’s a black-eyed pea’s favorite sport? Fris-pea!

Why did the black-eyed pea go to therapy? To find inner peas!

Why did the black-eyed pea go to therapy? To find inner peas!

What do you call a black-eyed pea who works in tech? A binary pea!

What do you call a black-eyed pea who works in tech? A binary pea!

How do black-eyed peas stay fit? By doing the jumping bean!

How do black-eyed peas stay fit? By doing the jumping bean!

Why was the black-eyed pea late? It was caught up in traffic jam!

Why was the black-eyed pea late? It was caught up in traffic jam!

What do you call a black-eyed pea in a musical? A broad-pea star!

What do you call a black-eyed pea in a musical? A broad-pea star!

How do black-eyed peas greet each other? "Peas be with you!"

How do black-eyed peas greet each other? “Peas be with you!”

Why are black-eyed peas terrible at hiding? They always pea-k!

Why are black-eyed peas terrible at hiding? They always pea-k!

What do black-eyed peas do when they're shocked? They turn pea-le!

What do black-eyed peas do when they’re shocked? They turn pea-le!

How do black-eyed peas pay their bills? With cash-peas!

How do black-eyed peas pay their bills? With cash-peas!

Why do black-eyed peas make great friends? Because they stick together through thick and thin!

Why do black-eyed peas make great friends? Because they stick together through thick and thin!

What's a black-eyed pea’s favorite kitchen appliance? The blender – it keeps them stirring!

What’s a black-eyed pea’s favorite kitchen appliance? The blender – it keeps them stirring!

Why don't black-eyed peas play poker? They're not good at keeping a straight face!

Why don’t black-eyed peas play poker? They’re not good at keeping a straight face!

How do black-eyed peas like their jokes? Extra corny!

How do black-eyed peas like their jokes? Extra corny!

What's a black-eyed pea's favorite day of the week? Stir-Friday!

What’s a black-eyed pea’s favorite day of the week? Stir-Friday!

Why are black-eyed peas like old friends? They’re great at rekindling memories in the pot!

Why are black-eyed peas like old friends? They’re great at rekindling memories in the pot!

What did the black-eyed pea say after a good meal? "That hit the spot!"

What did the black-eyed pea say after a good meal? “That hit the spot!”

What do black-eyed peas do in their free time? They pod around!

What do black-eyed peas do in their free time? They pod around!

Why did the black-eyed pea go to school? To become a scholar-pea!

Why did the black-eyed pea go to school? To become a scholar-pea!

What do you call an artistic black-eyed pea? A master-peas!

What do you call an artistic black-eyed pea? A master-peas!

Why don't black-eyed peas get promotions? They always stay at the same level!

Why don’t black-eyed peas get promotions? They always stay at the same level!

How do black-eyed peas like their tea? Steeped with a hint of sugar!

How do black-eyed peas like their tea? Steeped with a hint of sugar!

What do you call a black-eyed pea with magical powers? A wizard of peas!

What do you call a black-eyed pea with magical powers? A wizard of peas!

Why are black-eyed peas always ready for photos? They love to be in the lima-light!

Why are black-eyed peas always ready for photos? They love to be in the lima-light!

What did the black-eyed pea say to the chickpea? "We're from the same pod, you and I!"

What did the black-eyed pea say to the chickpea? “We’re from the same pod, you and I!”

Why did the black-eyed pea start a business? It wanted to be its own boss-pea!

Why did the black-eyed pea start a business? It wanted to be its own boss-pea!

What's a black-eyed pea's favorite exercise? Squats, for that pod-bod!

What’s a black-eyed pea’s favorite exercise? Squats, for that pod-bod!

How do black-eyed peas keep their skin looking good? Pea-lates!

How do black-eyed peas keep their skin looking good? Pea-lates!

Why was the black-eyed pea so good at math? It always added extra beans!

Why was the black-eyed pea so good at math? It always added extra beans!

What do you call a black-eyed pea that's a bit off? A has-bean!

What do you call a black-eyed pea that’s a bit off? A has-bean!

How do black-eyed peas like their martinis? Stirred, not shaken!

How do black-eyed peas like their martinis? Stirred, not shaken!

Why did the black-eyed pea sit in the corner? It was a naughty legume!

Why did the black-eyed pea sit in the corner? It was a naughty legume!

How do black-eyed peas react when they're scared? They jump out of their skins!

How do black-eyed peas react when they’re scared? They jump out of their skins!

What do you call a royal black-eyed pea? The prince of peas!

What do you call a royal black-eyed pea? The prince of peas!

How do black-eyed peas stay trendy? By keeping up with the currant events!

How do black-eyed peas stay trendy? By keeping up with the currant events!

Why did the black-eyed pea go to the beach? To soak up the sun and surf!

Why did the black-eyed pea go to the beach? To soak up the sun and surf!

What do black-eyed peas do when they need help? They call for re-pea-nforcements!

What do black-eyed peas do when they need help? They call for re-pea-nforcements!

What's a black-eyed pea's favorite type of movie? A chick flick!

What’s a black-eyed pea’s favorite type of movie? A chick flick!

How do black-eyed peas like to celebrate? By throwing a pea-rty!

How do black-eyed peas like to celebrate? By throwing a pea-rty!

What do you call an emotional black-eyed pea? A drama bean!

What do you call an emotional black-eyed pea? A drama bean!

How do black-eyed peas keep their spirits up? By staying posi-pea-tive!

How do black-eyed peas keep their spirits up? By staying posi-pea-tive!

What did the black-eyed pea say to the depressed vegetable? "Peas cheer up!"

What did the black-eyed pea say to the depressed vegetable? “Peas cheer up!”

Why did the black-eyed pea go to the opera? To hit the high notes!

Why did the black-eyed pea go to the opera? To hit the high notes!

What do black-eyed peas bring to the beach? Sand-peas!

What do black-eyed peas bring to the beach? Sand-peas!

Why did the black-eyed pea get into trouble at school? It was always stirring up a pot!

Why did the black-eyed pea get into trouble at school? It was always stirring up a pot!

What did the black-eyed pea wear to the party? A pod-ka dot dress!

What did the black-eyed pea wear to the party? A pod-ka dot dress!

Why do black-eyed peas make great actors? They always play their part well!

Why do black-eyed peas make great actors? They always play their part well!

How do black-eyed peas stay safe? By using a pea-bodyguard!

How do black-eyed peas stay safe? By using a pea-bodyguard!

What do you call a black-eyed pea that's been blessed by the pope? Holy legume!

What do you call a black-eyed pea that’s been blessed by the pope? Holy legume!

Why was the black-eyed pea so good at basketball? It always made the best passes!

Why was the black-eyed pea so good at basketball? It always made the best passes!

How do black-eyed peas get to work? By car-pooling!

How do black-eyed peas get to work? By car-pooling!

What did the black-eyed pea say to the hot dog? "Frankly, you're the wurst!"

What did the black-eyed pea say to the hot dog? “Frankly, you’re the wurst!”

What do black-eyed peas do when they get home from work? They unwind and let off steam!

What do black-eyed peas do when they get home from work? They unwind and let off steam!

Why don't black-eyed peas ever get promoted? They're always stuck in the same pod!

Why don’t black-eyed peas ever get promoted? They’re always stuck in the same pod!

How do black-eyed peas handle the summer heat? They just keep cool in the can!

How do black-eyed peas handle the summer heat? They just keep cool in the can!

What do you call a black-eyed pea that's been knighted? Sir Pea!

What do you call a black-eyed pea that’s been knighted? Sir Pea!

Why did the black-eyed pea go to the doctor? It felt a bit bean under the weather!

Why did the black-eyed pea go to the doctor? It felt a bit bean under the weather!

What did the black-eyed pea say on its wedding day? "I've bean waiting for this moment!"

What did the black-eyed pea say on its wedding day? “I’ve bean waiting for this moment!”

How do black-eyed peas like their adventures? Full of beans!

How do black-eyed peas like their adventures? Full of beans!

Why did the black-eyed pea write a book? To share its sage advice!

Why did the black-eyed pea write a book? To share its sage advice!

What do you call a black-eyed pea with no friends? A lone bean!

What do you call a black-eyed pea with no friends? A lone bean!

Why was the black-eyed pea so energized? It had just bean recharged!

Why was the black-eyed pea so energized? It had just bean recharged!

How do black-eyed peas greet each other in the morning? "Hello, sunshine, pea-utiful day, isn't it?"

How do black-eyed peas greet each other in the morning? “Hello, sunshine, pea-utiful day, isn’t it?”

Why don't black-eyed peas ever get stressed? Because they're always in their comfort pod!

Why don’t black-eyed peas ever get stressed? Because they’re always in their comfort pod!

What's a black-eyed pea's favorite carnival ride? The roller-beaner!

What’s a black-eyed pea’s favorite carnival ride? The roller-beaner!

How do black-eyed peas like their relationships? With plenty of peas and quiet!

How do black-eyed peas like their relationships? With plenty of peas and quiet!

Why did the black-eyed pea join the military? To serve and protect the dinner table!

Why did the black-eyed pea join the military? To serve and protect the dinner table!

What do black-eyed peas say when they're impressed? "That's unbeleafable!"

What do black-eyed peas say when they’re impressed? “That’s unbeleafable!”

How do black-eyed peas celebrate the New Year? With a bang and a pop!

How do black-eyed peas celebrate the New Year? With a bang and a pop!

What did the black-eyed pea say after a great performance? "That was unbe-pea-lievable!"

What did the black-eyed pea say after a great performance? “That was unbe-pea-lievable!”

Why did the black-eyed pea stop watching horror movies? It didn't want to spill its beans from fright!

Why did the black-eyed pea stop watching horror movies? It didn’t want to spill its beans from fright!

 

Written by Gabriel Cruz - Foodie, Animal Lover, Slang & Language Enthusiast

Leave a Comment