Why do Brussels sprouts never start a band? They can’t seem to string a bean together!
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite music? Pop, because they’re always ready to burst!
Why was the Brussels sprout sent to its room? It mis-bean-haved.
How do Brussels sprouts stay cool? By turningip the AC!
What do Brussels sprouts apply for? Leafer positions.
Why did the Brussels sprouts stop playing poker? Too many bad beets.
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite dance? The Salsa, for those spicy moves.
Why did the Brussels sprout go to jail? For stalking celery.
What do you call a sad Brussels sprout? A sautéed heart.
How do Brussels sprouts say goodbye? “Peas out!”
Why don’t Brussels sprouts make good secrets? They always squeal the beans.
What do Brussels sprouts do when they’re scared? They turn green!
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite game? Bud-dy System.
How do Brussels sprouts get around? They take the salad-bus.
Why did the Brussels sprout win an award? It was unbe-leaf-able.
Why don’t Brussels sprouts like to talk? They’re afraid of spilling the beans.
What do Brussels sprouts say at parties? “Lettuce turnip the beet!”
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite horror movie? Silence of the Yams.
How do you make a Brussels sprout boat? Leaf it to me.
What did the momma Brussels sprout say to the baby sprout? “You’re so cute I could eat you!”
Why are Brussels sprouts the best at school? They’re always on the honor roll.
Why was the Brussels sprout in a band? It had great roots.
What do Brussels sprouts wear to the beach? A zucchini!
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite sport? Squash.
How do Brussels sprouts gossip? They spill the beans.
Why did the Brussels sprout blush? It saw the salad dressing.
What do Brussels sprouts do after dark? They glow in the park!
Why do Brussels sprouts make terrible employees? They take too many leeks.
Why did the Brussels sprout call a cab? Because it didn’t carrot all about walking.
What do Brussels sprouts do when they get sick? Call the doctored pepper.
How do Brussels sprouts flirt? “Hey there, peas meet you.”
Why did the Brussels sprout write a book? It had a great tail to tell.
What did the Brussels sprout say to its date? “Peas be mine!”
What do you get when you cross a Brussels sprout with a computer? A USB (Universal Serial Bean).
Why did the Brussels sprout go to the party? To raise the roots!
What do Brussels sprouts pray for? Peas on Earth.
Why don’t Brussels sprouts get lost? They always find a peas-ful solution.
How do Brussels sprouts stay in shape? They log their stems in a fitness app.
What’s a Brussels sprout’s life motto? “Seize the bay leaf.”
What did the Brussels sprout say in the sauna? “I’m steaming!”
Why don’t Brussels sprouts like drama? They prefer peas and quiet.
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite TV show? “Stalk-er.”
Why do Brussels sprouts make good friends? They know how to dish out compliments.
How do you cheer up a Brussels sprout? Give it a pep-per talk.
What do Brussels sprouts drink at parties? Root beer.
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite type of joke? Puns, for a play on word-peas.
What did the Brussels sprout say to the cucumber? “You’re gherkin my nerves!”
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite book? “Gone with the Wind,” because they love the breezy outdoors.
What’s a Brussels sprout’s idea of a joke? A corny one!
What’s the difference between a Brussels sprout and a unicorn? One is a magical beast, and the other is a beast at being magical.
How do you throw a space party? You planet with Brussels sprouts.
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite place to visit? The Leafer Tower.
Why did the Brussels sprout meditate? To find inner peas.
What do Brussels sprouts wear to bed? Their aspara-gus.
What do Brussels sprouts call their kids? Sproutsprings.
Why did the Brussels sprout sit in the corner? It was a naughty veggie.
What makes Brussels sprouts so appealing? Their en-rooting personality.
Why are Brussels sprouts so religious? They believe in higher peas.
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite season? Fall, because they can finally leaf.
What did the Brussels sprout say at the race? “Lettuce go!”
Why was the Brussels sprout a good musician? It always knew how to compose.
What do Brussels sprouts do before a meal? They say their garden grace.
Why do Brussels sprouts make good judges? They always root for the truth.
Why do Brussels sprouts never start fights? They are too well-bread.
What did the Brussels sprout say when it was picked? “I’m out of this world!”
Why did the Brussels sprout go to school? To improve its stalk market skills.
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite type of poem? A haiku, because it’s short and sweet.
How do Brussels sprouts stay young? They always turn over a new leaf.
Why did the Brussels sprout win the vegetable race? Because it beet everyone!
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite magic spell? Abra-ca-dabra.
What do Brussels sprouts do when they see their friends? They turnip the fun.
Why don’t Brussels sprouts play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re that green!
Why are Brussels sprouts never bored? Because they are always up to some-thing.
What do you call an adventurous Brussels sprout? A trail-blanche.
Why are Brussels sprouts like old coins? They’re both a little green with age.
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite way to travel? On a leaf-jet.
How do Brussels sprouts get to work? By salad-cycle.
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite hobby? Leafing through books.
Why did the Brussels sprout go to the baseball game? To root for the home team.
How do Brussels sprouts succeed in school? By budding up to the teacher.
What do Brussels sprouts take when they’re sick? Vitamin See-ya-later.
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite type of coffee? Decaf-feinated.
Why did the Brussels sprout go to the moon? To find a new place to germinate.
What do Brussels sprouts wear to work? Button-down leaves.
How do Brussels sprouts stay so fit? By doing squats.
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite movie? “Lord of the Rings,” because they’re fans of circles.
Why do Brussels sprouts make good comedians? They always leave ’em greening.
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite kind of party? A garden party.
How do Brussels sprouts deal with problems? They face them head-on.
Why do Brussels sprouts make good philosophers? They always ponder the root of all things.
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite school subject? Geography, because they like to study the earth.
Why do Brussels sprouts like windy days? They get to go on a leaf ride.
How do Brussels sprouts communicate? They use vine language.
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite type of math? Square roots.
Why are Brussels sprouts so calm? Because they’ve mastered the art of not giving a crop.
What did the Brussels sprout say to the potato at dinner? “You’re absolutely smashing!”
Why do Brussels sprouts make good secret agents? They always keep things on the down-leaf.
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite type of weather? When it’s misty, so they can hide.
Why did the Brussels sprout go to the therapist? It needed help branching out.
How do Brussels sprouts stay so cool? They just chill in the crisper.
Why did the Brussels sprout write a memoir? Because it had a storied past.