Dolphin Puns and Jokes

I'm dolphinitely sure you'll love these puns!

I’m dolphinitely sure you’ll love these puns!

Why do dolphins never seem stressed_ Because they don’t sweat the small fish!

Why do dolphins never seem stressed? Because they don’t sweat the small fish!

Life as a dolphin is just fin-tastic.

Life as a dolphin is just fin-tastic.

What do you call a dolphin in a suit_ So-fish-ticated!

What do you call a dolphin in a suit? So-fish-ticated!

You think dolphins are smart_ Water you talking about!

You think dolphins are smart? Water you talking about!

Why did the dolphin bring a towel to the party_ It wanted to have a whale of a time without getting too wet!

Why did the dolphin bring a towel to the party? It wanted to have a whale of a time without getting too wet!

That dolphin can't make it tonight, he's got bigger fish to fry

That dolphin can’t make it tonight, he’s got bigger fish to fry.

How do dolphins make decisions_ They flipper coin!

How do dolphins make decisions? They flipper coin!

Why are dolphin parties the best_ They really know how to make waves!

Why are dolphin parties the best? They really know how to make waves!

Why did the dolphin cross the ocean_ To get to the other tide!

Why did the dolphin cross the ocean? To get to the other tide!

Dolphins are always in a good buoyd

Dolphins are always in a good buoyd.

What kind of money do dolphins use_ Sand dollars!

What kind of money do dolphins use? Sand dollars!

I don't trust dolphins; they seem kind of fishy to me.

I don’t trust dolphins; they seem kind of fishy to me.

How do dolphins stay fit_ By swimming laps and doing jumpfish!

How do dolphins stay fit? By swimming laps and doing jumpfish!

Dolphins in school_ They're top of the class-tide

Dolphins in school? They’re top of the class-tide.

What’s a dolphin’s favorite TV show_ Whale of Fortune!

What’s a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of Fortune!

You can't just seas the day, you must dolphin dive into it!

You can’t just seas the day, you must dolphin dive into it!

What do you call a dolphin that’s become famous_ A starfish!

What do you call a dolphin that’s become famous? A starfish!

Keep calm and carry on swimming.

Keep calm and carry on swimming.

Why did the dolphin become a detective_ To solve the case of the fishy business!

Why did the dolphin become a detective? To solve the case of the fishy business!

I sea what you did there, dolphin!

I sea what you did there, dolphin!

What do you call a lazy dolphin_ A flounder!

What do you call a lazy dolphin? A flounder!

That dolphin is so talented, it blows everyone else out of the water!

That dolphin is so talented, it blows everyone else out of the water!

How do you make a dolphin float_ Add a scoop of vanilla ice cream and some sea water!

How do you make a dolphin float? Add a scoop of vanilla ice cream and some sea water!

I got my degree in dol-phin-ology!

I got my degree in dol-phin-ology!

What did the dolphin say after making a mistake_ _That was on porpoise!

What did the dolphin say after making a mistake? “That was on porpoise!”

Dolphins love to shop—they're always flipping through the current styles

Dolphins love to shop—they’re always flipping through the current styles.

Why don’t dolphins play basketball_ They're afraid of the net!

Why don’t dolphins play basketball? They’re afraid of the net!

When dolphins need a break, they just wave it off.

When dolphins need a break, they just wave it off.

What’s a dolphin’s favorite sandwich_ Peanut butter and jellyfish!

What’s a dolphin’s favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish!

That dolphin is quite the novel-fin around here

That dolphin is quite the novel-fin around here.

Why did the dolphin blush_ It saw the ocean’s bottom!

Why did the dolphin blush? It saw the ocean’s bottom!

Dolphins are always up for a splash of fun

Dolphins are always up for a splash of fun.

How do dolphins send messages_ By sea-mail!

How do dolphins send messages? By sea-mail!

Ever seen a dolphin at work_ They really bring a new porpoise to life

Ever seen a dolphin at work? They really bring a new porpoise to life.

Why do dolphins always seem so happy_ Because the sea has all the Vitamin Sea they need!

Why do dolphins always seem so happy? Because the sea has all the Vitamin Sea they need!

That dolphin is not funny, but his puns are krilling me!

That dolphin is not funny, but his puns are krilling me!

What did one dolphin say to the other when he made a good joke_ _You’re krilling me!

What did one dolphin say to the other when he made a good joke? “You’re krilling me!”

Are you a dolphin_ Because you’ve just swept me off my feet!

Are you a dolphin? Because you’ve just swept me off my feet!

What do you call a dolphin that’s good at finding things_ A fin-der!

What do you call a dolphin that’s good at finding things? A fin-der!

Dolphins don’t play hide and seek because they always sea each other

Dolphins don’t play hide and seek because they always sea each other.

Why did the dolphin go to space_ To visit the Milky Wave!

Why did the dolphin go to space? To visit the Milky Wave!

What’s a dolphin’s favorite pastime_ Water polo, because it’s always a ball!

What’s a dolphin’s favorite pastime? Water polo, because it’s always a ball!

Why do dolphins do well in school_ Because they're good at fin-ance!

Why do dolphins do well in school? Because they’re good at fin-ance!

Dolphins are social creatures; they’re always stuck in gill-to-gill traffic

Dolphins are social creatures; they’re always stuck in gill-to-gill traffic.

Why are dolphins great friends_ They always come through in a pinch!

Why are dolphins great friends? They always come through in a pinch!

Dolphin diets are interesting, they always scale back on seaweed

Dolphin diets are interesting, they always scale back on seaweed.

How do dolphins greet each other_ _Water you doing

How do dolphins greet each other? “Water you doing?”

Why did the dolphin refuse dessert_ He didn't want to feel eel

Why did the dolphin refuse dessert? He didn’t want to feel eel.

What’s a dolphin’s favorite game_ Cards—because they always have a good hand-fish!

What’s a dolphin’s favorite game? Cards—because they always have a good hand-fish!

Dolphins don’t write letters, they prefer to use their shell phones

Dolphins don’t write letters, they prefer to use their shell phones.

Why did the chef hire a dolphin_ Because it was good with the fish-tail seasoning!

Why did the chef hire a dolphin? Because it was good with the fish-tail seasoning!

Did you hear about the dolphin chef_ He cooks with a sea-soning blend!

Did you hear about the dolphin chef? He cooks with a sea-soning blend!

What do you call a dolphin with a PhD_ A doctor of porpoise!

What do you call a dolphin with a PhD? A doctor of porpoise!

That dolphin musician has quite a range—all the way from sea to shining sea!

That dolphin musician has quite a range—all the way from sea to shining sea!

What type of art do dolphins love_ Anything abstract and watercolor!

What type of art do dolphins love? Anything abstract and watercolor!

Dolphins are great at balancing their careers and their personal lives—they really know how to tide things over

Dolphins are great at balancing their careers and their personal lives—they really know how to tide things over.

Why was the dolphin a good musician_ It had a great pitch!

Why was the dolphin a good musician? It had a great pitch!

A dolphin's favorite way to watch movies_ Streaming them, of course!

A dolphin’s favorite way to watch movies? Streaming them, of course!

Why do dolphins always carry spare money_ For the parking meter!

Why do dolphins always carry spare money? For the parking meter!

I'm absolutely porpoisitive you'll love this beach day!

I’m absolutely porpoisitive you’ll love this beach day!

What happens when you tell a dolphin a secret_ It goes in one ear and out the blowhole!

What happens when you tell a dolphin a secret? It goes in one ear and out the blowhole!

Why are dolphin meetings brief_ Because they quickly get to the porpoise

Why are dolphin meetings brief? Because they quickly get to the porpoise.

How do you get a dolphin to stop doing something_ Tell it no fin-g way!

How do you get a dolphin to stop doing something? Tell it no fin-g way!

Dolphins love to sing in the shower—they're great at choral music!

Dolphins love to sing in the shower—they’re great at choral music!

Why don’t dolphins play hide and seek with sharks_ Because they don’t want to get it chomped!

Why don’t dolphins play hide and seek with sharks? Because they don’t want to get it chomped!

Why did the dolphin start a blog_ To share the buoyant news!

Why did the dolphin start a blog? To share the buoyant news!

What did the dolphin say when he was confused_ _Can someone please porpoise a question

What did the dolphin say when he was confused? “Can someone please porpoise a question?”

Dolphins always follow their dreams—they beluga in themselves!

Dolphins always follow their dreams—they beluga in themselves!

Why did the dolphin start a garden_ It was interested in kelp farming!

Why did the dolphin start a garden? It was interested in kelp farming!

A dolphin’s favorite magazine_ Wet and Wild!

A dolphin’s favorite magazine? Wet and Wild!

What’s a dolphin’s least favorite thing to clean_ The ocean bed!

What’s a dolphin’s least favorite thing to clean? The ocean bed!

How do dolphins stay updated_ Through the current news

How do dolphins stay updated? Through the current news.

Why don’t dolphins use cell phones_ Because they already have a good stream of communication!

Why don’t dolphins use cell phones? Because they already have a good stream of communication!

A dolphin’s life is full of diveersity

A dolphin’s life is full of dive-ersity.

How do dolphins discuss their secrets_ They whale them to each other!

How do dolphins discuss their secrets? They whale them to each other!

Why did the dolphin go to college_ To get a higher education

Why did the dolphin go to college? To get a higher education.

What do you get when you cross a dolphin with a magician_ A magic porpoise!

What do you get when you cross a dolphin with a magician? A magic porpoise!

When dolphins go camping, they always have a whale of a time!

When dolphins go camping, they always have a whale of a time!

What’s a dolphin’s favorite bean_ A jellybean!

What’s a dolphin’s favorite bean? A jellybean!

Why don't dolphins play basketball_ They're afraid of getting caught in the net

Why don’t dolphins play basketball? They’re afraid of getting caught in the net.

How do you know when a dolphin is bored_ It just swims in circles!

How do you know when a dolphin is bored? It just swims in circles!

What's a dolphin's favorite card game_ Go Fish—for obvious reasons!

What’s a dolphin’s favorite card game? Go Fish—for obvious reasons!

What’s the difference between a dolphin and a banana_ One can swim but the other can split!

What’s the difference between a dolphin and a banana? One can swim but the other can split!

Dolphins always save their money in the sand bank.

Dolphins always save their money in the sand bank.

How do you apologize to a dolphin_ On porpoise!

How do you apologize to a dolphin? On porpoise!

Why did the dolphin join the navy_ He had a natural talent for sonar

Why did the dolphin join the navy? He had a natural talent for sonar.

What do dolphins wear on Halloween_ Water wings!

What do dolphins wear on Halloween? Water wings!

Dolphins are always cheerful because they sea the positive in everything

Dolphins are always cheerful because they sea the positive in everything.

What’s a dolphin’s favorite kind of ice cream_ Shark-late chip!

What’s a dolphin’s favorite kind of ice cream? Shark-late chip!

What’s a dolphin’s favorite kind of ice cream_ Shark-late chip!

What do you get when you cross a dolphin with a famous detective? Sherlock Holmes Under the Sea!

Why are dolphins like computers_ They both have a lot of data streaming!

Why are dolphins like computers? They both have a lot of data streaming!

Why do dolphins love mystery novels_ They enjoy the suspense underwater

Why do dolphins love mystery novels? They enjoy the suspense underwater.

What’s the best way to hold a dolphin party_ Make it a splash!

What’s the best way to hold a dolphin party? Make it a splash!

What’s a dolphin’s favorite kind of music_ Anything with a good tuna

What’s a dolphin’s favorite kind of music? Anything with a good tuna.

Why did the dolphin start a podcast_ It wanted to be heard across the ocean!

Why did the dolphin start a podcast? It wanted to be heard across the ocean!

Why did the dolphin become an astronaut_ He wanted to explore the outer tide

Why did the dolphin become an astronaut? He wanted to explore the outer tide.

What do dolphins do for fun on weekends_ They just krill out!

What do dolphins do for fun on weekends? They just krill out!

Dolphins are not just smart; they're fin-tellectuals!

Dolphins are not just smart; they’re fin-tellectuals!

What book did the dolphin take on vacation_ _Fifty Shades of Grey Whale!

What book did the dolphin take on vacation? “Fifty Shades of Grey Whale!”

Written by Gabriel Cruz - Foodie, Animal Lover, Slang & Language Enthusiast

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