Dragon Puns and Jokes

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a dragon_ Frostbite!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a dragon? Frostbite!

I’m not lion, dragons are simply the best!

I’m not lion, dragons are simply the best!

Why do dragons sleep during the day_ So they can fight knights!

Why do dragons sleep during the day? So they can fight knights!

Dragons are always dragoon-ing on about their treasures

Dragons are always dragoon-ing on about their treasures.

What do you call a dragon in a sombrero_ A dragón!

What do you call a dragon in a sombrero? A dragón!

Why did the dragon go to the bank_ To check his fire account

Why did the dragon go to the bank? To check his fire account.

How do dragons make hot chocolate_ They heat up the milk with their breath!

How do dragons make hot chocolate? They heat up the milk with their breath!

Dragons love to barbe-cute everything!

Dragons love to barbe-cute everything!

Why are dragons great musicians_ They always blow their own horns!

Why are dragons great musicians? They always blow their own horns!

How do dragons spice up their food_ With fire pepper!

How do dragons spice up their food? With fire pepper!

Why do dragons refuse to eat paladins_ Too much metal in their diet!

Why do dragons refuse to eat paladins? Too much metal in their diet!

Be careful, the dragon might wing it!

Be careful, the dragon might wing it!

What's a dragon's favorite car_ A firebird!

What’s a dragon’s favorite car? A firebird!

Dragons are not to be meddled with—they’ve got scales of justice

Dragons are not to be meddled with—they’ve got scales of justice.

How can you tell if a dragon is vegetarian_ When it eats the castle's garden instead of the princess!

How can you tell if a dragon is vegetarian? When it eats the castle’s garden instead of the princess!

This might dragon, but you'll love these puns!

This might dragon, but you’ll love these puns!

Why do dragons never use public transportation_ They hate dragon their tails around!

Why do dragons never use public transportation? They hate dragon their tails around!

That story is a real flight of dragon fancy

That story is a real flight of dragon fancy.

What do you call a dragon with no silver or gold_ Poorly furnished

What do you call a dragon with no silver or gold? Poorly furnished.

Dragons often find themselves in heated arguments

Dragons often find themselves in heated arguments.

Why did the dragon cross the road_ To burn someone on the other side!

Why did the dragon cross the road? To burn someone on the other side!

Dragons never diet; they just burn calories

Dragons never diet; they just burn calories.

How do you know if there’s a dragon under your bed_ Your nose is touching the ceiling!

How do you know if there’s a dragon under your bed? Your nose is touching the ceiling!

Keep calm and curry dragon

Keep calm and curry dragon.

What's a dragon's favorite game_ Charades, because they're great at flaming!

What’s a dragon’s favorite game? Charades, because they’re great at flaming!

Dragons might be mythical, but their puns are legendary

Dragons might be mythical, but their puns are legendary.

Why did the dragon go to the doctor_ It had a fire in its belly!

Why did the dragon go to the doctor? It had a fire in its belly!

Dragons are always the toast of the town

Dragons are always the toast of the town.

What do dragons eat for snacks_ Firecrackers

What do dragons eat for snacks? Firecrackers.

Let’s scale back on the dragon puns.

Let’s scale back on the dragon puns.

How do dragons read books_ They start with the blurb and end with a roast!

How do dragons read books? They start with the blurb and end with a roast!

Dragons are too cool, they’ve got ice in their veins

Dragons are too cool, they’ve got ice in their veins.

What did the dragon do after eating the knight_ It picked its teeth with the sword!

What did the dragon do after eating the knight? It picked its teeth with the sword!

When dragons make a movie, they always have a fiery cast

When dragons make a movie, they always have a fiery cast.

What's a dragon's favorite day of the week_ Fry-day!

What’s a dragon’s favorite day of the week? Fry-day!

Dragons don’t exercise, they just do a few fire drills

Dragons don’t exercise, they just do a few fire drills.

Why did the dragon eat the restaurant_ Because the food was flame-licking good!

Why did the dragon eat the restaurant? Because the food was flame-licking good!

What do you get when you cross a dragon with a computer_ A mega-bite

What do you get when you cross a dragon with a computer? A mega-bite.

What do you call an articulate dragon_ Well-spoken

What do you call an articulate dragon? Well-spoken.

Dragons never get coffee to go. They drink it on the fly!

Dragons never get coffee to go. They drink it on the fly!

What do you get when you cross a dragon with a cookie_ Snap, crackle, and pop!

What do you get when you cross a dragon with a cookie? Snap, crackle, and pop!

Dragons can’t play sports, they always flame out

Dragons can’t play sports, they always flame out.

What's a dragon's favorite type of music_ Heavy metal—because it’s hardcore!

What’s a dragon’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal—because it’s hardcore!

Dragons never lie, they just myth-tell

Dragons never lie, they just myth-tell.

Why do dragons always carry cash_ Too much gold to fit in their wallet!

Why do dragons always carry cash? Too much gold to fit in their wallet!

If dragons were artists, they’d draw with fire extinguishers

If dragons were artists, they’d draw with fire extinguishers.

Why did the dragon sit on the marshmallow_ To get a sweet seat!

Why did the dragon sit on the marshmallow? To get a sweet seat!

Dragons are famous in the cooking world for their sizzle

Dragons are famous in the cooking world for their sizzle.

What do you call a dragon that eats too many spicy knights_ A fire-breather!

What do you call a dragon that eats too many spicy knights? A fire-breather!

That dragon is so overcooked, it’s dragon on and on

That dragon is so overcooked, it’s dragon on and on.

What is a dragon’s favorite Shakespeare play_ The Merchant of Venice, for its fire-sale!

What is a dragon’s favorite Shakespeare play? The Merchant of Venice, for its fire-sale!

Why do dragons hate fast food_ It extinguishes their fire

Why do dragons hate fast food? It extinguishes their fire.

How do dragons make tea_ By boiling the water with their anger!

How do dragons make tea? By boiling the water with their anger!

Dragons love stories, especially long tails

Dragons love stories, especially long tails.

Why did the dragon break up with its treasure_ It had too many attachment issues!

Why did the dragon break up with its treasure? It had too many attachment issues!

They’re not playing with fire, they’re organizing a roast

They’re not playing with fire, they’re organizing a roast.

What do dragons use to make their houses_ Fired bricks!

What do dragons use to make their houses? Fired bricks!

Dragon home, or you'll miss the fire show!

Dragon home, or you’ll miss the fire show!

What did the romantic dragon write in its Valentine’s card_ _You light my fire!

What did the romantic dragon write in its Valentine’s card? “You light my fire!”

What do dragons read every morning_ The daily scorch

What do dragons read every morning? The daily scorch.

How do you know if a dragon is planning a BBQ_ Everyone's invited, but nobody wants to RSVP!

How do you know if a dragon is planning a BBQ? Everyone’s invited, but nobody wants to RSVP!

Dragons don’t get cold—they have built-in central heating

Dragons don’t get cold—they have built-in central heating.

What's a dragon's favorite sport_ Flying discs

What’s a dragon’s favorite sport? Flying discs.

Dragon your heels much_ This pun is flying by!

Dragon your heels much? This pun is flying by!

What do you call a dragon with a fast car_ A speed demon

What do you call a dragon with a fast car? A speed demon.

A dragon’s favorite car feature_ Tail lights

A dragon’s favorite car feature? Tail lights.

How do dragons say goodbye_ _Firewell!

How do dragons say goodbye? “Firewell!”

Dragons are no good at chess; they lose their knights

Dragons are no good at chess; they lose their knights.

Why did the dragon eat the comedian_ He needed a good roast

Why did the dragon eat the comedian? He needed a good roast.

Why did the dragon go online_ To update his fire-wall

Why did the dragon go online? To update his fire-wall.

What do dragons use to clean their teeth_ Excalibur

What do dragons use to clean their teeth? Excalibur.

Don't challenge a dragon to a cook-off. It will just flame the competition

Don’t challenge a dragon to a cook-off. It will just flame the competition.

How does a dragon go on vacation_ On a fireplane

How does a dragon go on vacation? On a fireplane.

You think dragons are old_ They’re just pre-hiss-toric!

You think dragons are old? They’re just pre-hiss-toric!

What did the dragon say after a great meal_ _That hit the spot—fire!

What did the dragon say after a great meal? “That hit the spot—fire!”

Never ask a dragon for directions; they always take the scenic route

Never ask a dragon for directions; they always take the scenic route.

Why did the dragon start an acting career_ It had a flair for the dramatic

Why did the dragon start an acting career? It had a flair for the dramatic.

Dragons don’t sing, they fire tunes

Dragons don’t sing, they fire tunes.

What’s a dragon’s favorite type of coffee_ Decaf-inated

What’s a dragon’s favorite type of coffee? Decaf-inated.

It’s not easy being a dragon, you always have to keep your cool

It’s not easy being a dragon, you always have to keep your cool.

Why don't dragons like online shopping_ They burn through cash too quickly!

Why don’t dragons like online shopping? They burn through cash too quickly!

Dragonfly_ More like dragon-walk; they’re always dragging their feet!

Dragonfly? More like dragon-walk; they’re always dragging their feet!

How do you invite a dragon to a party_ You don’t, they crash it anyway!

How do you invite a dragon to a party? You don’t, they crash it anyway!

Dragons in horror movies_ They always add a little fire

Dragons in horror movies? They always add a little fire.

What do you call a sick dragon_ A drag-off

What do you call a sick dragon? A drag-off.

Dragons don’t sweat, they smolder

Dragons don’t sweat, they smolder.

Why do dragons make terrible secret agents_ They always flame their covers!

Why do dragons make terrible secret agents? They always flame their covers!

Every time a dragon cooks dinner, it’s a roast

Every time a dragon cooks dinner, it’s a roast.

Why do dragons always win debates_ They refuse to concede, and just fire away!

Why do dragons always win debates? They refuse to concede, and just fire away!

Dragons never retire, they just burn out

Dragons never retire, they just burn out.

What’s the worst thing about lending your book to a dragon_ It always returns it crispy

What’s the worst thing about lending your book to a dragon? It always returns it crispy.

Why don’t dragons write memoirs_ They prefer to wing it

Why don’t dragons write memoirs? They prefer to wing it.

What does a dragon eat for breakfast_ Anything it wants

What does a dragon eat for breakfast? Anything it wants.

You can count on a dragon to add a spark to your day

You can count on a dragon to add a spark to your day.

What do you call a dragon who’s lost its GPS_ Flight plan-less

What do you call a dragon who’s lost its GPS? Flight plan-less.

Dragons don't eat sweets; they're dessert dragons

Dragons don’t eat sweets; they’re dessert dragons.

How do dragons spice up their meals_ With a dash of fire extinguisher

How do dragons spice up their meals? With a dash of fire extinguisher.

Every dragon’s favorite day_ Fry-day!

Every dragon’s favorite day? Fry-day!

What makes dragons such great partners_ They're really hot!

What makes dragons such great partners? They’re really hot!

Dragon jokes not cutting it_ Maybe they need a fire polish!

Dragon jokes not cutting it? Maybe they need a fire polish!

Written by Gabriel Cruz - Foodie, Animal Lover, Slang & Language Enthusiast

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