Elephant Puns and Jokes

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino_ Elephino (hell if I know)!

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino (hell if I know)!

What do you call an elephant that never forgets_ Unforgettabull!

What do you call an elephant that never forgets? Unforgettabull!

How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed_ Your head hits the ceiling!

How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed? Your head hits the ceiling!

Why did the elephant use his trunk as a storage unit_ Because he had so much junk in his trunk!

Why did the elephant use his trunk as a storage unit? Because he had so much junk in his trunk!

Why don't elephants use computers_ They're afraid of the mouse

Why don’t elephants use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse.

I told an elephant joke, but it was irrelephant.

I told an elephant joke, but it was irrelephant.

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter_ An irrelephant

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.

Elephants are always ready to pack their trunks for a trip.

Elephants are always ready to pack their trunks for a trip.

How do elephants communicate_ With ele-phone!

How do elephants communicate? With ele-phone!

What's an elephant's favorite veggie_ Squash, because they never forget to squash

What’s an elephant’s favorite veggie? Squash, because they never forget to squash.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence_ Time to get a new fence!

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!

Never trust an elephant with your luggage; they'll take your trunk!

Never trust an elephant with your luggage; they’ll take your trunk!

What’s big and gray and protects you from the rain_ An umbrellaphant!

What’s big and gray and protects you from the rain? An umbrellaphant!

Why did the elephant cross the road_ To prove he wasn't chicken!

Why did the elephant cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!

Why do elephants never get lost_ They take the elephantastic route

Why do elephants never get lost? They take the elephantastic route.

I'm all ears when it comes to elephant puns.

I’m all ears when it comes to elephant puns.

What do you call an elephant at the North Pole_ Lost!

What do you call an elephant at the North Pole? Lost!

Have you heard about the elephant who started a business_ His profits are through the roof, literally!

Have you heard about the elephant who started a business? His profits are through the roof, literally!

How do you stop an elephant from charging_ Take away its credit card!

How do you stop an elephant from charging? Take away its credit card!

How do you make an elephant laugh_ Tell it trunk-ated jokes

How do you make an elephant laugh? Tell it trunk-ated jokes.

Why did the elephant bring a suitcase to the zoo_ He wanted to pack his trunk!

Why did the elephant bring a suitcase to the zoo? He wanted to pack his trunk!

What’s big, gray, and points in any direction_ A compass elephant

What’s big, gray, and points in any direction? A compass elephant.

What do you call a flying elephant_ A jumbo jet

What do you call a flying elephant? A jumbo jet.

Why did the elephant float down the river_ Because he's a good buoy

Why did the elephant float down the river? Because he’s a good buoy.

What's grey, carries a bunch of flowers, and cheers you up when you’re ill_ A get-well-ephant

What’s grey, carries a bunch of flowers, and cheers you up when you’re ill? A get-well-ephant.

Why don't elephants use computers_ Too much spam and junk in their trunk

Why don’t elephants use computers? Too much spam and junk in their trunk.

What’s big, gray, and writes_ An ele-pen!

What’s big, gray, and writes? An ele-pen!

How do elephants communicate long distance_ Drop them a line, they always remember to pick up their trunk!

How do elephants communicate long distance? Drop them a line, they always remember to pick up their trunk!

Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow_ So she wouldn’t fall in the hot chocolate

Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow? So she wouldn’t fall in the hot chocolate.

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter_ Irrelephant!

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? Irrelephant!

Why do elephants never use public transportation_ They like to elephant-commute

Why do elephants never use public transportation? They like to elephant-commute.

Why was the elephant so good at balancing_ He liked to keep things on an even keel

Why was the elephant so good at balancing? He liked to keep things on an even keel.

What do you call two elephants talking to each other_ A heavy discussion

What do you call two elephants talking to each other? A heavy discussion.

Why do elephants have trunks_ Because they'd look funny with suitcases!

Why do elephants have trunks? Because they’d look funny with suitcases!

What's grey and goes round and round_ An elephant in a washing machine!

What’s grey and goes round and round? An elephant in a washing machine!

What do you call a group of musical elephants_ An orchestra, because they have a good range of trombones

What do you call a group of musical elephants? An orchestra, because they have a good range of trombones.

How do you raise a baby elephant_ With a forklift!

How do you raise a baby elephant? With a forklift!

Why did the elephant join the space program_ He wanted to experience zero-gravity with his zero-memory

Why did the elephant join the space program? He wanted to experience zero-gravity with his zero-memory.

Why did the elephant paint its toenails red_ To hide in the strawberry patch

Why did the elephant paint its toenails red? To hide in the strawberry patch.

How do elephants talk to each other_ By ‘elephone

How do elephants talk to each other? By ‘elephone.

What’s an elephant’s favorite sport_ Squash

What’s an elephant’s favorite sport? Squash.

Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow_ He didn’t want to fall into the hot chocolate

Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? He didn’t want to fall into the hot chocolate.

What do you call an elephant that likes to dance_ A swingin' trunk

What do you call an elephant that likes to dance? A swingin’ trunk.

Why was the elephant always invited to parties_ Because he never forgets the chips!

Why was the elephant always invited to parties? Because he never forgets the chips!

What do elephants and trees have in common_ Trunk space

What do elephants and trees have in common? Trunk space.

What do you call an elephant that flies_ A jumbo jet

What do you call an elephant that flies? A jumbo jet.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a shark_ Swimming trunks

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a shark? Swimming trunks.

Why do elephants never start a company_ They can’t stop mixing up their trunk lines

Why do elephants never start a company? They can’t stop mixing up their trunk lines.

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator_ By the footprints in the butter

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? By the footprints in the butter.

Why don't elephants smoke_ Because they can't fit their butts in the ashtray

Why don’t elephants smoke? Because they can’t fit their butts in the ashtray.

What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant_ Swimming trunks!

What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? Swimming trunks!

What’s an elephant’s favorite mode of transportation_ A train, because they come with trunks

What’s an elephant’s favorite mode of transportation? A train, because they come with trunks.

What do you call an elephant that likes to break things_ A smashophant

What do you call an elephant that likes to break things? A smashophant.

What do you call an elephant that's a critic_ A pachyderm with a _pachy-derm_ perspective

What do you call an elephant that’s a critic? A pachyderm with a “pachy-derm” perspective.

What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress_ Anything you like—it can't hear you!

What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress? Anything you like—it can’t hear you!

Why don't elephants play poker in the jungle_ Too many cheetahs!

Why don’t elephants play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!

How do you make an elephant float_ Two scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and an elephant!

How do you make an elephant float? Two scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and an elephant!

Why are elephants always considered wise_ Because no one wants to argue with someone that size!

Why are elephants always considered wise? Because no one wants to argue with someone that size!

Why do elephants drink so much_ To forget their trunk size

Why do elephants drink so much? To forget their trunk size.

What do you call a lazy baby elephant_ A calf-potato

What do you call a lazy baby elephant? A calf-potato.

What’s grey, carries a bunch of flowers, and cheers you up when you’re ill_ A get-well-ephant

What’s grey, carries a bunch of flowers, and cheers you up when you’re ill? A get-well-ephant.

Why do elephants make terrible burglars_ Their footprints are too recognizable

Why do elephants make terrible burglars? Their footprints are too recognizable.

Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow_ So she wouldn’t fall into the hot chocolate

Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? So she wouldn’t fall into the hot chocolate.

What’s an elephant’s favorite exercise_ Dumbo-bells

What’s an elephant’s favorite exercise? Dumbo-bells.

Why do elephants make good leaders_ Because they have big trunks full of wisdom

Why do elephants make good leaders? Because they have big trunks full of wisdom.

Why did the elephant start painting_ He heard that every picture is worth a thousand words and he had a lot to say!

Why did the elephant start painting? He heard that every picture is worth a thousand words and he had a lot to say!

What’s an elephant’s least favorite music_ Trunk music

What’s an elephant’s least favorite music? Trunk music.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a jar of peanut butter_ An elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a jar of peanut butter? An elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

What do you call an elephant that never washes_ A smellyphant

What do you call an elephant that never washes? A smellyphant.

How does an elephant climb a tree_ It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow

How does an elephant climb a tree? It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.

How do you know when an elephant has been in your fridge_ Footprints in the cheesecake!

How do you know when an elephant has been in your fridge? Footprints in the cheesecake!

What do you call a flying elephant with a badge_ A plainclothes detective

What do you call a flying elephant with a badge? A plainclothes detective.

Why do elephants have trunks_ Because they don’t have any pockets!

Why do elephants have trunks? Because they don’t have any pockets!

How do you make an elephant float_ Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of elephant, and plenty of root beer

How do you make an elephant float? Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of elephant, and plenty of root beer.

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it_ Nothing, but it let out a little wine

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Why do elephants never forget_ Because nobody would listen the first time!

Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody would listen the first time!

What did the elephant say when it saw a dead ant_ _Deadant, deadant, deadant!

What did the elephant say when it saw a dead ant? “Deadant, deadant, deadant!”

What do you call a magical elephant_ Dumble-dore

What do you call a magical elephant? Dumble-dore.

Why did the elephant leave the circus_ He was tired of working for peanuts

Why did the elephant leave the circus? He was tired of working for peanuts.

What’s an elephant’s least favorite music_ Heavy metal (too much head banging)

What’s an elephant’s least favorite music? Heavy metal (too much head banging).

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino_ Elephino (hell if I know)!

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a computer? A big know-it-all!

What’s the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper_ You can’t make a paper airplane out of an elephant

What’s the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper? You can’t make a paper airplane out of an elephant.

What did the elephant say to a naked man_ _How do you breathe through that tiny thing

What did the elephant say to a naked man? “How do you breathe through that tiny thing?”

Why do elephants have wrinkles_ Have you ever tried to iron one

Why do elephants have wrinkles? Have you ever tried to iron one?

What game do elephants play with humans_ Squash

What game do elephants play with humans? Squash.

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it_ Nothing, it just let out a little wine

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.

How can you tell when an elephant has been in the refrigerator_ There's a footprint in the mayo

How can you tell when an elephant has been in the refrigerator? There’s a footprint in the mayo.

Why are elephants bad at hiding_ Because they’re always spotted

Why are elephants bad at hiding? Because they’re always spotted.

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t like to rush_ A slow-phant

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t like to rush? A slow-phant.

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend_ _I love you a ton!

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? “I love you a ton!”

Why did the elephant eat the candle_ He wanted a light snack

Why did the elephant eat the candle? He wanted a light snack.

Why do elephants do well in school_ Because they have a great memory, but they still have trouble with multiplication

Why do elephants do well in school? Because they have a great memory, but they still have trouble with multiplication.

How do elephants hide in trees_ They paint their toenails different colors

How do elephants hide in trees? They paint their toenails different colors.

What's an elephant's favorite restaurant_ The Trunk Stop

What’s an elephant’s favorite restaurant? The Trunk Stop.

Why did the elephant join the gym_ To get his trunk in shape

Why did the elephant join the gym? To get his trunk in shape.

How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed_ Your nose is touching the ceiling!

How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed? Your nose is touching the ceiling!

What’s grey, carries a suitcase, and is completely irrelevant_ An irrelephant on vacation

What’s grey, carries a suitcase, and is completely irrelevant? An irrelephant on vacation.

What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe_ He called the toe truck!

What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe? He called the toe truck!

Why do elephants have big ears_ Because Noddy wouldn’t pay the ransom

Why do elephants have big ears? Because Noddy wouldn’t pay the ransom.

What do you call an elephant on a treadmill A run-a-corn.

What do you call an elephant on a treadmill? A run-a-corn.

Written by Gabriel Cruz - Foodie, Animal Lover, Slang & Language Enthusiast

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