Divorce can be a tough and emotional journey for anyone. But sometimes, a little bit of humor is all you need to help you through it. If you’re going through a divorce or recently divorced, we’ve got you covered with 100 funny quotes about divorce and moving on. From witty one-liners to hilarious observations about relationships, these quotes are sure to make you laugh and remind you that sometimes laughter really is the best medicine. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to chuckle your way through the ups and downs of divorce with these 100 funny quotes.
100 Funny Quotes About Divorce And Moving On
- “Divorce is like a whirlpool – it sucks you in and spits you out, leaving you dizzy and disoriented.”
- “Divorce is like a reset button – it wipes the slate clean and gives you a chance to start over.”
- “Divorce is like a traffic jam – it’s frustrating, it slows you down, and sometimes you just have to take the detour.”
- “Divorce is like a storm – it’s loud, it’s scary, and it can make you feel like you’re all alone.”
- “Divorce is like a game of Jenga – you carefully pull out each piece, hoping the tower won’t come crashing down.”
- “Divorce is like a rollercoaster – it’s full of ups and downs, and you never know what’s around the next bend.”
- “Divorce is like a puzzle – it takes time to put the pieces back together, but when you do, the picture can be beautiful.”
- “Divorce is like a fire – it can be devastating, but it also has the power to purify and transform.”
- “Divorce is like a marathon – it requires endurance, strength, and a willingness to push through the pain.”
- “Divorce is like a maze – you have to navigate through the twists and turns to find your way out, but when you do, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment.”
- “I’m not saying my ex-husband was a bad driver, but even the GPS refused to give him directions.”
- “I’m not saying my ex was a bad listener, but even the crickets were more attentive.”
- “I’m not saying my ex was a bad dancer, but even the wallflowers had more rhythm.”
- “I’m not saying my ex was a bad kisser, but even the dog licked my face with more enthusiasm.”
- “I’m not saying my ex was a bad lover, but even the inflatable pool toy was more satisfying.”
- “I’m not saying my ex was a bad dresser, but even the scarecrows had better fashion sense.”
- “I’m not saying my ex was a bad singer, but even the neighborhood cats howled in protest.”
- “I’m not saying my ex was a bad comedian, but even the crickets were funnier.”
- “I’m not saying my ex was a bad gardener, but even the weeds refused to grow in their presence.”
- “I’m not saying my ex was a bad writer, but even the fortune cookie had better prose.”
- “Divorce is like a game of poker, except your ex already knows your tell.”
- “Divorce is like a game of Monopoly, except your ex already owns all the hotels on Boardwalk.”
- “Divorce is like a game of Scrabble, except your ex has already stolen all the vowels.”
- “Divorce is like a game of Risk, except your ex has already conquered all the territories.”
- “Divorce is like a game of Battleship, except your ex has already sunk your battleship.”
- “Divorce is like a game of Trivial Pursuit, except your ex knows all the answers.”
- “Divorce is like a game of Connect Four, except your ex has already connected all the pieces.”
- “Divorce is like a game of Clue, except your ex already knows who did it, where, and with what.”
- “Divorce is like a game of Yahtzee, except your ex has already rolled five of a kind.”
- “Divorce is like a game of Candy Land, except your ex already owns all the candy.”
- “Divorce: when the marriage is over, but the mental replay button is stuck on repeat.”
- “Divorce: when the relationship is dead, but the ghosts of arguments past still haunt you.”
- “Divorce: when the end is in sight, but the voices in your head won’t stop arguing.”
- “Divorce: when the battle is over, but the war of words rages on in your mind.”
- “Divorce: when the silence is deafening, but the echoes of arguments still ring in your ears.”
- “Divorce: when the love is gone, but the memories of fights linger like a bad smell.”
- “Divorce: when the papers are signed, but the inner dialogue still debates the past.”
- “Divorce: when the door is closed, but the inner monologue won’t stop knocking.”
- “Divorce: when the emotions are numb, but the mental arguments still sting like a fresh wound.”
- “Divorce: when the heart is broken, but the mind won’t stop playing the blame game.”
- “Moving on from divorce is like trying to find a parking spot on Black Friday, except your ex is taking up all the space.”
- “Moving on from divorce is like trying to untangle a ball of yarn, except your ex is the knot at the center.”
- “Moving on from divorce is like trying to navigate a corn maze, except your ex is the dead end at every turn.”
- “Moving on from divorce is like trying to dig for gold, except your ex is the fool’s gold that keeps distracting you.”
- “Moving on from divorce is like trying to swim against the current, except your ex is the rip tide pulling you back.”
- “Moving on from divorce is like trying to find a light switch in the dark, except your ex keeps moving it.”
- “Moving on from divorce is like trying to find your keys in a pile of laundry, except your ex is the dirty sock hiding them.”
- “Moving on from divorce is like trying to find a quiet corner in a crowded room, except your ex is the loud, obnoxious one.”
- “Moving on from divorce is like trying to escape a maze, except your ex is the Minotaur chasing you down.”
- “Moving on from divorce is like trying to climb a mountain, except your ex is the boulder blocking your path.”
- “Divorce is like a yard sale, except your ex gets to keep the good stuff.”
- “Divorce is like a game show, except instead of prizes, you’re losing your assets.”
- “Divorce is like a bank robbery, except your ex is the thief and your assets are the loot.”
- “Divorce is like a clearance sale, except instead of discounts, you’re getting half-price for everything you own.”
- “Divorce is like a house fire, except instead of flames, your assets are going up in smoke.”
- “Divorce is like a heist movie, except your ex is the mastermind stealing all your assets.”
- “Divorce is like a stock market crash, except your assets are the ones taking the hit.”
- “Divorce is like a game of hot potato, except your assets are the potato and your ex is passing it on to you.”
- “Divorce is like a magic trick, except instead of making things disappear, your ex is making your assets disappear.”
- “Divorce is like a giant sinkhole, except instead of swallowing up the ground, it’s swallowing up your assets.”
- “Divorce is like a never-ending subscription, except instead of magazines, you’re paying for your ex’s mistakes.”
- “Divorce is like a bad investment, except instead of losing money, you’re losing your sanity.”
- “Divorce is like a black hole, except instead of sucking in matter, it’s sucking in your bank account.”
- “Divorce is like a leaky faucet, except instead of water, it’s dripping money.”
- “Divorce is like a game of Hot Potato, except the potato is your financial responsibility and your ex just passed it to you.”
- “Divorce is like a bad dream, except instead of waking up, you’re paying alimony for the rest of your life.”
- “Divorce is like a never-ending train ride, except instead of scenery, you’re watching your money disappear.”
- “Divorce is like a bottomless pit, except instead of falling in, your money is.”
- “Divorce is like a game of telephone, except instead of whispers, it’s the sound of your bank account draining.”
- “Divorce is like a game of chess, except instead of pawns, it’s your financial stability that’s being sacrificed.
- “Getting over a divorce is like climbing a mountain, except the peak is emotional freedom.”
- “Getting over a divorce is like learning to walk again, except this time you’re on your own two feet.”
- “Getting over a divorce is like a rollercoaster, except the thrill is finding happiness at the end.”
- “Getting over a divorce is like a game of tag, except you’re it and you’re chasing after your own happiness.”
- “Getting over a divorce is like planting a garden, except the flowers are new beginnings and the soil is your resilience.”
- “Getting over a divorce is like building a puzzle, except the pieces are your broken heart and the picture is your healing.”
- “Getting over a divorce is like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly, except the butterfly is your newfound freedom.”
- “Getting over a divorce is like training for a triathlon, except the finish line is your own self-acceptance.”
- “Getting over a divorce is like writing a novel, except the main character is you and the story is your journey to happiness.”
- “Getting over a divorce is like completing a puzzle, except the end result is a beautiful mosaic of your life.”
- “Divorce is like a wilted flower – it’s better to plant a new seed and watch it grow.”
- “Divorce is like a book with torn pages – it’s better to start a new chapter with fresh pages.”
- “Divorce is like a storm that’s passed – it’s better to look forward to the clear skies ahead.”
- “Divorce is like a fire that’s burned out – it’s better to rebuild with stronger materials.”
- “Divorce is like a broken bone – it’s better to heal and be stronger than before.”
- “Divorce is like a tree with dead branches – it’s better to prune them and let new growth flourish.”
- “Divorce is like a ripped shirt – it’s better to stitch it up or get a new one.”
- “Divorce is like a flat tire – it’s better to change it and keep moving forward.”
- “Divorce is like a shattered vase – it’s better to pick up the pieces and make a mosaic.”
- “Divorce is like a closed door – it’s better to open a window and let fresh air in.”
- “Moving on from a divorce is like rehabbing a broken bone – it hurts during physical therapy, but you emerge stronger than ever.”
- “Moving on from a divorce is like cleaning out a closet – it’s messy at first, but the end result is a fresh start.”
- “Moving on from a divorce is like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly – you may be uncomfortable in your cocoon, but the transformation is worth it.”
- “Moving on from a divorce is like building a sandcastle – it may wash away, but you can always rebuild a better one.”
- “Moving on from a divorce is like weeding a garden – it’s hard work, but it allows space for new growth and possibilities.”
- “Moving on from a divorce is like peeling an onion – it may make you cry, but eventually, you’ll find a new, fresh layer.”
- “Moving on from a divorce is like closing a book – it’s sad, but you can always open a new one and discover a different story.”
- “Moving on from a divorce is like finishing a puzzle – it may be challenging, but the satisfaction of completing it is worth it.”
- “Moving on from a divorce is like a road trip – the journey may be bumpy, but the destination is worth the effort.”
- “Moving on from a divorce is like a phoenix rising from the ashes – it may be difficult, but you’ll emerge stronger and more resilient than ever.”
Tips On How To Use Funny Quotes About Divorce And Moving On
- Use them in a speech or toast at a divorce party – If you or a loved one is celebrating the end of a difficult marriage, using funny quotes can help lighten the mood and bring some levity to the occasion.
- Share them on social media – Whether you’re going through a divorce yourself or just looking to brighten someone else’s day, sharing a funny quote on social media can provide a moment of laughter and help people feel less alone.
- Use them in a greeting card – If you’re looking for a way to add some humor to a difficult situation, a funny quote can be a great addition to a greeting card. It can show that you understand the difficulties of going through a divorce, but that you’re also there to provide support and laughter.
- Incorporate them into a blog or article – If you’re a writer or blogger, using funny quotes can help break up the seriousness of a piece and provide some much-needed humor for your readers.
- Use them in therapy – Going through a divorce can be a difficult and emotional experience, but incorporating humor can help provide some relief and make the process feel more manageable. Using a funny quote in therapy can help you and your therapist discuss the topic of divorce in a more lighthearted and approachable way.