100 Funny Quotes About Turkeys to Gobble Up

Written by Gabriel Cruz - Foodie, Animal Lover, Slang & Language Enthusiast

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Are you on the hunt for a few chuckles to spice up your turkey-themed celebration? Look no further! We’ve compiled a list of 100 rib-tickling quotes about everyone’s favorite festive fowl. Whether you’re gearing up for Thanksgiving or just need a good laugh, these witty quips are sure to have you gobbling with glee. So sit back, relax, and get ready for some hilarious takes on turkeys that are sure to have you laughing out loud.

100 Funny Quotes About Turkeys

  1. “Why did the turkey cross the playground? To get to the other slide!”
  2. “Why did the turkey cross the football field? To get to the gobbler’s end zone!”
  3. “Why did the turkey cross the yoga mat? To show off its pliable-ness!”
  4. “Why did the turkey cross the ice rink? To prove it had some serious quads!”
  5. “Why did the turkey cross the galaxy? To boldly go where no fowl has gone before!”
  6. “Why did the turkey cross the finish line? To set a new feather-weight record!”
  7. “Why did the turkey cross the orchestra pit? To hear the drumstick solo!”
  8. “Why did the turkey cross the vineyard? To get to the wine and dine!”
  9. “Why did the turkey cross the fashion show runway? To strut its tail feathers!”
  10. “Why did the turkey cross the trampoline? To show off its epic bounce!”
  11. “I don’t always dress up for Thanksgiving, but when I do, I make sure to wear my turkey pants!”
  12. “I don’t always wear feathers, but when I do, I make sure they’re turkey-tastic.”
  13. “I don’t always cook turkey, but when I do, I make sure it’s wearing its Sunday best.”
  14. “I don’t always talk turkey, but when I do, I like to get the bird’s full opinion.”
  15. “I don’t always feather my hair, but when I do, I like to pretend I’m a turkey.”
  16. “I don’t always decorate for Thanksgiving, but when I do, I make sure to include some turkey flair.”
  17. “I don’t always play dress-up, but when I do, I like to strut around like a big, bad turkey.”
  18. “I don’t always have guests for dinner, but when I do, I make sure to dress my turkey to impress.”
  19. “I don’t always take fashion advice from turkeys, but when I do, it’s because they know how to rock a feather boa.”
  20. “I don’t always have a full wardrobe of turkey-themed clothing, but when I do, it’s because I’m a big fan of fowl fashion.”
  21. “Turkeys are the ultimate masters of disguise. They can hide in plain gravy!”
  22. “Turkeys are the ultimate escape artists. They can fly the coop and make it look easy!”
  23. “Turkeys are the ultimate game of ‘Where’s Waldo?’ You can never find them until it’s time to eat!”
  24. “Turkeys are the ultimate chameleons. They can blend in with autumn leaves and be mistaken for fall foliage!”
  25. “Turkeys are the ultimate ninjas. They can sneak up on you while you’re carving the ham!”
  26. “Turkeys are the ultimate camouflagers. They can hide in the stuffing and nobody will ever suspect a thing!”
  27. “Turkeys are the ultimate sleight of hand experts. They can disappear faster than a magician’s rabbit!”
  28. “Turkeys are the ultimate ghosts. They can haunt your fridge for weeks after Thanksgiving!”
  29. “Turkeys are the ultimate spies. They can infiltrate your holiday meal and nobody will be the wiser!”
  30. “Turkeys are the ultimate illusionists. They can make themselves look bigger than they actually are, just like a Hollywood celebrity!”
  31. “Thanksgiving tip: if your turkey comes with a free cologne sample, it’s probably past its prime.”
  32. “Thanksgiving tip: if your turkey has a comb-over, it’s definitely seen better days.”
  33. “Thanksgiving tip: if your turkey has a cane, it’s probably not fresh enough to stand on its own.”
  34. “Thanksgiving tip: if your turkey is wearing dentures, it’s time to consider a vegetarian option.”
  35. “Thanksgiving tip: if your turkey needs a walker, it’s best to let it rest in peace.”
  36. “Thanksgiving tip: if your turkey is giving out AARP membership applications, it’s time to find a younger bird.”
  37. “Thanksgiving tip: if your turkey has a senior discount, it’s not a good sign.”
  38. “Thanksgiving tip: if your turkey is registered to vote in the 1930s, it’s probably not safe to eat.”
  39. “Thanksgiving tip: if your turkey is older than your grandmother, it’s time to give it a proper burial.”
  40. “Thanksgiving tip: if your turkey is sponsored by a life insurance company, it’s best to find a fresher bird.”
  41. “I’m not saying turkeys are easy to catch, but they’re the only birds that will actually hop in your oven willingly.”
  42. “I’m not saying turkeys are gullible, but they’re the only birds that will actually fall for the ‘Free Corn’ trap.”
  43. “I’m not saying turkeys are naive, but they’re the only birds that will actually sign up for a free basting.”
  44. “I’m not saying turkeys are dim-witted, but they’re the only birds that will actually volunteer for Thanksgiving dinner.”
  45. “I’m not saying turkeys are trusting, but they’re the only birds that will actually follow you into the kitchen with a smile on their face.”
  46. “I’m not saying turkeys are foolish, but they’re the only birds that will actually walk straight into a roasting pan.”
  47. “I’m not saying turkeys are simple-minded, but they’re the only birds that will actually play a game of ‘Tag’ with the farmer.”
  48. “I’m not saying turkeys are oblivious, but they’re the only birds that will actually strut around the yard while the farmer is holding a giant axe.”
  49. “I’m not saying turkeys are clueless, but they’re the only birds that will actually come running when you call them ‘Dinner’.”
  50. “I’m not saying turkeys are brainless, but they’re the only birds that will actually walk into a trap that’s shaped like a giant fork.”
  51. “The turkey said to the farmer, ‘Don’t blame me for Thanksgiving dinner. I never asked to be the main course.'”
  52. “The turkey said to the grocery store clerk, ‘Don’t blame me for Thanksgiving dinner. I never asked to be on sale.'”
  53. “The turkey said to the chef, ‘Don’t blame me for Thanksgiving dinner. I never asked to be basted and roasted.'”
  54. “The turkey said to the dinner guests, ‘Don’t blame me for Thanksgiving dinner. I never asked to be carved up like a science experiment.'”
  55. “The turkey said to the pilgrims, ‘Don’t blame me for Thanksgiving dinner. I never asked to be the star of a national holiday.'”
  56. “The turkey said to the president, ‘Don’t blame me for Thanksgiving dinner. I never asked to be pardoned and sent to Disney World.'”
  57. “The turkey said to the kids, ‘Don’t blame me for Thanksgiving dinner. I never asked to be in a picture book with a cute rhyming title.'”
  58. “The turkey said to the oven, ‘Don’t blame me for Thanksgiving dinner. I never asked to be the hottest thing in the kitchen.'”
  59. “The turkey said to the butcher, ‘Don’t blame me for Thanksgiving dinner. I never asked to be the most talked-about bird of the year.'”
  60. “The turkey said to the universe, ‘Don’t blame me for Thanksgiving dinner. I never asked to be born with such delicious meat.'”
  61. “Turkeys are like shoes – you can never have too many, but they’re hard to fit in the fridge.”
  62. “Turkeys are like shoes – you can never have too many, but it’s best to avoid buying them in bulk.”
  63. “Turkeys are like shoes – you can never have too many, but it’s best to avoid impulse buying them at the grocery store.”
  64. “Turkeys are like shoes – you can never have too many, but it’s best to avoid buying them before checking the expiration date.”
  65. “Turkeys are like shoes – you can never have too many, but it’s best to avoid buying them in bright colors.”
  66. “Turkeys are like shoes – you can never have too many, but it’s best to avoid buying them on an empty stomach.”
  67. “Turkeys are like shoes – you can never have too many, but it’s best to avoid buying them from a door-to-door salesman.”
  68. “Turkeys are like shoes – you can never have too many, but it’s best to avoid buying them without trying them on first.”
  69. “Turkeys are like shoes – you can never have too many, but it’s best to avoid buying them from a mystery meat vendor.”
  70. “Turkeys are like shoes – you can never have too many, but it’s best to avoid buying them if they don’t match your holiday decor.”
  71. “Why did the turkey insist on wearing a bib to dinner? He didn’t want to get gravy all over his feathers!”
  72. “Why did the turkey start a fight with the cranberry sauce? He wanted to drumstick to his roots!”
  73. “Why did the turkey decide to go on a diet? He wanted to avoid being buttered up!”
  74. “Why did the turkey join a gym? He wanted to tone his wings for the big day!”
  75. “Why did the turkey sneak into the vegetable garden? He wanted to find some greens to balance out his diet!”
  76. “Why did the turkey apply to be a food critic? He wanted to have a say in what he got served for Thanksgiving!”
  77. “Why did the turkey insist on sitting at the kids’ table? He wanted to avoid being part of a political debate!”
  78. “Why did the turkey have a nervous breakdown? He couldn’t handle the pressure of being the centerpiece of Thanksgiving dinner!”
  79. “Why did the turkey go to a psychologist? He was having an identity crisis between being a bird and being a meal!”
  80. “Why did the turkey go on a meditation retreat? He wanted to learn how to stay centered during the holiday chaos!”
  81. “I tried to convince my family that we should serve tofu turkey this year. They weren’t buying it – I guess they’re just not a fan of tofukey!”
  82. “I thought about bringing a goose to Thanksgiving dinner instead of a turkey, but then I realized it would be a wild goose chase!”
  83. “My sister told me she wanted to try a vegan Thanksgiving this year. I told her I was game, as long as we could still have pumpkin pie!”
  84. “My aunt always makes the best gravy for Thanksgiving. I asked her for the recipe, but she said it was a family secret – talk about a fowl play!”
  85. “I tried to make a turkey-shaped cake for dessert, but it ended up looking more like a platypus – I guess I’m just not very good at poultrysculpting!”
  86. “I told my friends I was going to make a deep-fried turkey for Thanksgiving. They said it sounded dangerous, but I told them not to worry – I have a lot of experience with hot oil!”
  87. “I suggested that we serve hot dogs instead of turkey for Thanksgiving dinner this year. My family looked at me like I was off my rocker – I guess they don’t appreciate a good weiner roast!”
  88. “My grandmother always says that the secret to a perfect Thanksgiving dinner is to add a pinch of love to everything you make. I told her that sounds like a lot of extra work – I prefer to just add a pinch of salt!”
  89. “I tried to convince my family to have a picnic-style Thanksgiving this year, but they said it was too cold outside. I told them we could always heat up the turkey over the fire pit – talk about a turkey roast!”
  90. “I suggested that we all wear turkey hats to dinner this year. My family rolled their eyes and told me I was being silly – I guess they don’t appreciate a good drumstick hat!”
  91. “Thanksgiving is like the Super Bowl for turkeys – they train all year for this one game, and we end up devouring them in the end zone.”
  92. “Thanksgiving is like a horror movie for turkeys – they spend the whole time running away, only to end up getting caught in the end.”
  93. “Thanksgiving is like a game of poker for turkeys – they keep trying to bluff their way out of trouble, but we always end up holding the winning hand.”
  94. “Thanksgiving is like a reality show for turkeys – they’re constantly being judged for their taste, texture, and appearance.”
  95. “Thanksgiving is like a marathon for turkeys – they start off strong, but eventually they just hit a wall and can’t keep going.”
  96. “Thanksgiving is like a beauty pageant for turkeys – they have to look their best, strut their stuff, and hope the judges don’t notice any imperfections.”
  97. “Thanksgiving is like a science experiment for turkeys – they end up getting dissected, analyzed, and studied under a microscope.”
  98. “Thanksgiving is like a rollercoaster for turkeys – they start off feeling excited and full of adrenaline, but eventually they just end up feeling dizzy and disoriented.”
  99. “Thanksgiving is like a job interview for turkeys – they have to make a good impression, show off their best qualities, and hope they don’t get rejected in the end.”
  100. “Thanksgiving is like a romantic comedy for turkeys – they start off hoping for a happy ending, but they always end up getting roasted.”

Tips On How To Use Funny Quotes About Turkeys

  1. Share them on social media – Post your favorite quotes about turkeys on your social media accounts. These can be great conversation starters and can help you connect with friends and family during the holiday season.
  2. Use them in a speech – If you’re giving a toast or speech during Thanksgiving dinner, throw in a few funny quotes about turkeys to liven things up and make people laugh.
  3. Include them in greeting cards – If you’re sending Thanksgiving cards to friends and family, include a funny quote about turkeys to add some humor and personality to your message.
  4. Write them on a chalkboard – If you’re hosting Thanksgiving dinner, write some funny quotes about turkeys on a chalkboard or whiteboard in your home. This will add some festive and lighthearted decor to your space.
  5. Use them in crafts – If you’re into crafting, use funny quotes about turkeys in your DIY projects. For example, you could create a banner that reads “Talk turkey to me” or “Gobble ’til you wobble”.
  6. Make them into memes – Turn your favorite quotes about turkeys into memes and share them with your friends and family. This is a fun and creative way to spread some holiday cheer.
  7. Use them as conversation starters – If you’re meeting new people during the holiday season, use funny quotes about turkeys as conversation starters. This will help break the ice and make people feel more comfortable around you.

 

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