Garden Puns and Jokes

Why did the gardener plant light bulbs_ He wanted to grow a power plant!

Why did the gardener plant a light bulb? He wanted to grow a power plant!

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think

You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.

What do you get if you cross a dog with a daisy_ A collie-flower!

What do you get if you cross a dog with a daisy? A collie-flower!

Lettuce turnip the beet in the garden party!

Lettuce turnip the beet in the garden party!

How do you stop a dog from digging in the garden_ Hide the shovel

How do you stop a dog from digging in the garden? Hide the shovel.

I'm rooting for you to grow a great garden!

I’m rooting for you to grow a great garden!

What kind of socks does a gardener wear_ Garden hose

What kind of socks does a gardener wear? Garden hose.

Thistle be the best garden yet!

Thistle be the best garden yet!

Why did the gardener quit_ Because his celery wasn't high enough!

Why did the gardener quit? Because his celery wasn’t high enough!

I'm not just busy, I'm mulch-tasking

I’m not just busy, I’m mulch-tasking.

What do you call an angry pea_ Grump-pea

What do you call an angry pea? Grump-pea.

Peas give peas a chance

Peas give peas a chance.

Why did the gardener bring a blanket to the garden_ He wanted to cover his plants in case they fell a-sleep

Why did the gardener bring a blanket to the garden? He wanted to cover his plants in case they fell a-sleep.

You're so grape, I can't even vine about it

You’re so grape, I can’t even vine about it.

What do you call a country where the people drive only pink cars_ A pink carnation

What do you call a country where the people drive only pink cars? A pink carnation.

Time to turnip the soil and squash the competition

Time to turnip the soil and squash the competition.

How do trees access the internet_ They log in

How do trees access the internet? They log in.

Don't kale my vibe.

Don’t kale my vibe.

Why did the tomato turn red_ Because it saw the salad dressing!

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

I’m no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.

I’m no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.

What kind of tree fits in your hand_ A palm tree!

What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!

Planting this garden is a soiled sport.

Planting this garden is a soiled sport.

Why do melons have fancy weddings_ Because they cantaloupe

Why do melons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.

Don’t stop be-leafing in the magic of nature.

Don’t stop be-leafing in the magic of nature.

What do you call a well-dressed lion_ A dandy lion

What do you call a well-dressed lion? A dandy lion.

I'm not old, I'm just well-seasoned.

I’m not old, I’m just well-seasoned.

How do you cut a wave in half_ Use a sea-saw

How do you cut a wave in half? Use a sea-saw.

Moss definitely, this garden rocks

Moss definitely, this garden rocks.

Why did the gardener plant light bulbs_ He wanted to grow a power plant

Why did the gardener plant light bulbs? He wanted to grow a power plant.

Water you thinking about today_ Hopefully, our garden!

Water you thinking about today? Hopefully, our garden!

What do you call a stolen yam_ A hot potato

What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.

Weed it and reap the rewards

Weed it and reap the rewards.

Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend_ He had a long honeydew list

Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend? He had a long honeydew list.

Let’s get to the root of the problem

Let’s get to the root of the problem.

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter_ Pumpkin Pi

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.

I'm feeling good from my head tomatoes.

I’m feeling good from my head tomatoes.

Why was the cucumber mad_ Because it was in a pickle!

Why was the cucumber mad? Because it was in a pickle!

Leaf it to me, I'll plant the best garden

Leaf it to me, I’ll plant the best garden.

Why don't secrets stay secret in a garden_ Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears

Why don’t secrets stay secret in a garden? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.

I carrot believe how great this garden looks!

I carrot believe how great this garden looks!

Why did the gardener plant seeds in the pond_ He was trying to grow a water-melon

Why did the gardener plant seeds in the pond? He was trying to grow a water-melon.

I'm berry excited about these garden puns

I’m berry excited about these garden puns.

How do you lead a gardening business to success_ Lettuce show you the ropes!

How do you lead a gardening business to success? Lettuce show you the ropes!

Aloe you vera much, my gardening friends!

Aloe you vera much, my gardening friends!

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot_ A carrot!

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!

It's about thyme we got our hands dirty

It’s about thyme we got our hands dirty.

Why do gardeners make excellent gossipers_ They always get the dirt

Why do gardeners make excellent gossipers? They always get the dirt.

Let’s stick to the garden path.

Let’s stick to the garden path.

Why did the scarecrow win an award_ Because he was outstanding in his field!

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

I'm just a girl who loves to mow and tell.

I’m just a girl who loves to mow and tell.

What do you call a fairy that refuses to take a bath_ Stinker Bell

What do you call a fairy that refuses to take a bath? Stinker Bell.

Mint to be a gardener.

Mint to be a gardener.

Why did the lemon stop in the middle of the road_ Because it ran out of juice

Why did the lemon stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.

Soil-mates forever.

Soil-mates forever.

Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road_ Because it ran out of wine

Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of wine.

If you were a flower, you’d be a damndelion.

If you were a flower, you’d be a damndelion.

Why did the gardener plant a clock in his garden_ He wanted to grow thyme

Why did the gardener plant a clock in his garden? He wanted to grow thyme.

We should ketchup soon and talk about our plants.

We should ketchup soon and talk about our plants.

What do you call a romantic insect_ A butterfly

What do you call a romantic insect? A butterfly.

Don’t leaf me hanging, tell me more about your garden!

Don’t leaf me hanging, tell me more about your garden!

What did one leaf say to the other_ I'm falling for you

What did one leaf say to the other? I’m falling for you.

I'm pollen for you!

I’m pollen for you!

What's a gardener's favorite novel_ _Gone with the Wind_ because it blows all the leaves away

What’s a gardener’s favorite novel? “Gone with the Wind” because it blows all the leaves away.

You're the pick of the patch!

You’re the pick of the patch!

What did the big flower say to the little flower_ Hey bud, when are you going to bloom

What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hey bud, when are you going to bloom?

We’re mint to be friends

We’re mint to be friends.

Why don’t gardeners ever get lonely_ Because they always have plants for company

Why don’t gardeners ever get lonely? Because they always have plants for company.

These plants are unbe-leaf-able.

These plants are unbe-leaf-able.

Why don’t vegetables need social media_ Because they're already part of a network – a root network!

Why don’t vegetables need social media? Because they’re already part of a network – a root network!

You're radishing, absolutely radishing!

You’re radishing, absolutely radishing!

What did the flower say after telling a joke_ I was just pollen your leg!

What did the flower say after telling a joke? I was just pollen your leg!

Never fear, the garden gnome is here!

Never fear, the garden gnome is here!

Why did the gardener plant a seed in his computer_ He wanted to download some thyme

Why did the gardener plant a seed in his computer? He wanted to download some thyme.

You had me at aloe.

You had me at aloe.

What did the tree wear to the pool party_ Swimming trunks

What did the tree wear to the pool party? Swimming trunks.

Our friendship is blossoming

Our friendship is blossoming.

Why are plants bad at math_ Because they always multiply by dividing

Why are plants bad at math? Because they always multiply by dividing.

I’ve bean thinking about you.

I’ve bean thinking about you.

What do you call a grumpy and short-tempered gardener_ A SnapDragon

What do you call a grumpy and short-tempered gardener? A SnapDragon.

Don’t be melon-choly, the garden’s here!

Don’t be melon-choly, the garden’s here!

Why did the gardener become a DJ_ He knew how to turnip the beets

Why did the gardener become a DJ? He knew how to turnip the beets.

This garden is unbe-weed-able

This garden is unbe-weed-able.

What type of vest should you wear in the garden_ A har-vest

What type of vest should you wear in the garden? A har-vest.

If we were flowers, we’d have a blooming friendship

If we were flowers, we’d have a blooming friendship.

What happens when you tell a joke to a gardener_ They soil themselves laughing

What happens when you tell a joke to a gardener? They soil themselves laughing.

You’re my best bud!

You’re my best bud!

Why did the gardener bring his herbs to school_ For show and smell

Why did the gardener bring his herbs to school? For show and smell.

Let's grow together.

Let’s grow together.

What's a gardener's favorite type of music_ Root rock

What’s a gardener’s favorite type of music? Root rock.

Plantastic job on this garden!

Plantastic job on this garden!

Why are garden jokes so great_ They're always in grow-taste

Why are garden jokes so great? They’re always in grow-taste.

Bloom where you are planted.

Bloom where you are planted.

Why don’t plants get scared_ Because nothing can leaf or stem their courage

Why don’t plants get scared? Because nothing can leaf or stem their courage.

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant.

What do you call a well-spoken plant_ An orator-plant

What do you call a well-spoken plant? An orator-plant.

You're so succ-cute-lent.

You’re so succ-cute-lent.

What did the plant say when it wanted to reconcile_ Lettuce leaf the past behind

What did the plant say when it wanted to reconcile? Lettuce leaf the past behind.

We should put our tulips together

We should put our tulips together.

Why do gardeners make the best friends_ They always root for you!

Why do gardeners make the best friends? They always root for you!

My love for this garden is perennial.

My love for this garden is perennial.

Written by Gabriel Cruz - Foodie, Animal Lover, Slang & Language Enthusiast

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