Horse Puns and Jokes

Why did the horse go behind the tree_ It needed to change its jockeys!

Why did the horse go behind the tree? It needed to change its jockeys!

You've got to be a bit more stable with your emotions

You’ve got to be a bit more stable with your emotions.

What do you call a horse that lives next door_ A neigh-bor!

What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bor!

That horse movie really spurred my interest

That horse movie really spurred my interest.

Why did the horse eat with its mouth open_ Because it had bad stable manners

Why did the horse eat with its mouth open? Because it had bad stable manners.

Our stable relationship is no longer up for debate

Our stable relationship is no longer up for debate.

What kind of bread does a horse eat_ Thoroughbred

What kind of bread does a horse eat? Thoroughbred.

Keep it up and you'll stirrup trouble

Keep it up and you’ll stirrup trouble.

What did one horse say to the other at the dance_ _You mustang-o with me!

What did one horse say to the other at the dance? “You mustang-o with me!”

That horse is so musical, you could say he has a lot of neighs

That horse is so musical, you could say he has a lot of neighs.

Why do horses never get lost_ They always follow the bridle path!

Why do horses never get lost? They always follow the bridle path!

Let’s hoof it out of here!

Let’s hoof it out of here!

What's a horse's favorite TV show_ _Neigh-bors

What’s a horse’s favorite TV show? “Neigh-bors.”

That joke was pasture prime.

That joke was pasture prime.

Why did the horse start a business_ To be the mane event!

Why did the horse start a business? To be the mane event!

Just hoofin' around on a sunny day.

Just hoofin’ around on a sunny day.

What do you call a horse that can't lose a race_ Sherbet

What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race? Sherbet.

Let's not saddle ourselves with unnecessary worries

Let’s not saddle ourselves with unnecessary worries.

Why are horses always so fit_ Because they’re on a stable diet

Why are horses always so fit? Because they’re on a stable diet.

It’s pasture bedtime!

It’s pasture bedtime!

How do horses stay cool_ They have lots of fans in the stands!

How do horses stay cool? They have lots of fans in the stands!

The knight's horse is a knight-mare!

The knight’s horse is a knight-mare!

What do you give a sick horse_ Cough stirrup!

What do you give a sick horse? Cough stirrup!

She’s the centaur of attention

She’s the centaur of attention.

Why was the horse so happy_ Because he lived in a stable environment

Why was the horse so happy? Because he lived in a stable environment.

I couldn’t get the horse to talk; he had a bit in his mouth

I couldn’t get the horse to talk; he had a bit in his mouth.

What game do horses play at parties_ Stable tennis

What game do horses play at parties? Stable tennis.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it a drink

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it a drink.

Why don't horses use phones_ Because they hate to hold their horses

Why don’t horses use phones? Because they hate to hold their horses.

He’s got a real stable attitude

He’s got a real stable attitude.

What did the horse say when it fell_ _I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

What did the horse say when it fell? “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”

You can’t rein in that kind of enthusiasm

You can’t rein in that kind of enthusiasm.

How do horses greet each other_ _Hay there!

How do horses greet each other? “Hay there!”

Horsing around can lead to a stable relationship

Horsing around can lead to a stable relationship.

What's a horse's favorite sport_ Stable tennis

What’s a horse’s favorite sport? Stable tennis.

This mare knows how to make an entrance

This mare knows how to make an entrance.

Why did the horse chew gum_ To make sure it had fresh breath for the _mane_ event!

Why did the horse chew gum? To make sure it had fresh breath for the “mane” event!

He really wants to gallop into the future

He really wants to gallop into the future.

What's a horse’s favorite state_ Neigh-braska

What’s a horse’s favorite state? Neigh-braska.

That’s neigh-ver going to happen!

That’s neigh-ver going to happen!

What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts_ A hobby horse!

What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts? A hobby horse!

Saddle up for a wild ride

Saddle up for a wild ride.

Why don't horses write tests_ Because they work better with a bit

Why don’t horses write tests? Because they work better with a bit.

Hoof-hearted_ The mystery of the wind-breaking horse

Hoof-hearted? The mystery of the wind-breaking horse.

What do you call a horse that lives at the North Pole_ A snowmare!

What do you call a horse that lives at the North Pole? A snowmare!

Puns about horses_ I could stirrup a few!

Puns about horses? I could stirrup a few!

What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee_ Neigh-buzz

What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee? Neigh-buzz.

I’m feeling a bit saddled with work today.

I’m feeling a bit saddled with work today.

Why did the horse sit in the corner_ It was a naughty mare!

Why did the horse sit in the corner? It was a naughty mare!

You don't have to reinvent the wheel, just the saddle!

You don’t have to reinvent the wheel, just the saddle!

How do you make a small fortune on horse racing_ Start with a large fortune

How do you make a small fortune on horse racing? Start with a large fortune.

Stop foaling around!

Stop foaling around!

What kind of horses go out after dusk_ Nightmares!

What kind of horses go out after dusk? Nightmares!

These horse puns are a mane attraction

These horse puns are a mane attraction.

Why was the young horse a gossip_ Because he was the colt of the town!

Why was the young horse a gossip? Because he was the colt of the town!

Why do horses always neigh in agreement_ Because they hate being contrarian

Why do horses always neigh in agreement? Because they hate being contrarian.

What’s a horse’s favorite holiday_ Mare-ry Christmas!

What’s a horse’s favorite holiday? Mare-ry Christmas!

That’s one way to stirrup the crowd

That’s one way to stirrup the crowd.

What’s a horse’s favorite chore_ Mucking around

What’s a horse’s favorite chore? Mucking around.

I told my horse to giddy up, but he just wouldn’t listen

I told my horse to giddy up, but he just wouldn’t listen.

Why did the horse eat with its mouth open_ Because it had bit in its mouth!

Why did the horse eat with its mouth open? Because it had bit in its mouth!

Mare-y Christmas to all!

Mare-y Christmas to all!

Why did the pony get detention_ It wouldn’t stop horsing around in class

Why did the pony get detention? It wouldn’t stop horsing around in class.

If you can’t handle the neigh-sayers, stay out of the race

If you can’t handle the neigh-sayers, stay out of the race.

How do you know if there’s a horse in your house_ Your house is a big stable

How do you know if there’s a horse in your house? Your house is a big stable.

Feeling down_ Time to saddle up and ride on!

Feeling down? Time to saddle up and ride on!

What did the mother horse say to her foal_ _It's pasture bedtime

What did the mother horse say to her foal? “It’s pasture bedtime.”

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth… unless it’s smiling at you

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth… unless it’s smiling at you.

Why do horses go to bars_ To raise the bar!

Why do horses go to bars? To raise the bar!

A horse in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an outside force.

A horse in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an outside force.

What do you call a horse that's good at video games_ A joystick!

What do you call a horse that’s good at video games? A joystick!

Horses are great at keeping secrets; they’re good at stabling information

Horses are great at keeping secrets; they’re good at stabling information.

What do horses use to make their hair shiny_ Mane 'n tail shampoo!

What do horses use to make their hair shiny? Mane ‘n tail shampoo!

Is it stable to keep all these puns in one place

Is it stable to keep all these puns in one place?

Why don't horses sit down in the evenings_ They’re scared of falling off their stools

Why don’t horses sit down in the evenings? They’re scared of falling off their stools.

Hoof it over here!

Hoof it over here!

What's a horse's favorite dance move_ The gallop poll

What’s a horse’s favorite dance move? The gallop poll.

Mare-ly a flesh wound!

Mare-ly a flesh wound!

How does a horse use social media_ They click _Neigh!

How does a horse use social media? They click “Neigh!”

Why was the horse so articulate_ Because he had a bit to say

Why was the horse so articulate? Because he had a bit to say.

Why do horses write slowly_ Because they use post-it notes

Why do horses write slowly? Because they use post-it notes.

Just trying to stirrup some conversation.

Just trying to stirrup some conversation.

Why are horses always calm_ Because they're not easily spooked

Why are horses always calm? Because they’re not easily spooked.

Watch out, or you’ll stirrup a storm

Watch out, or you’ll stirrup a storm.

How do you organize a party for horses_ You planet in the barn!

How do you organize a party for horses? You planet in the barn!

Don’t trot away from your responsibilities

Don’t trot away from your responsibilities.

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth_ A mechanic!

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth? A mechanic!

This show is the best thing I've herd all day

This show is the best thing I’ve herd all day.

Why do horses never feel alone_ Because they're part of a herd

Why do horses never feel alone? Because they’re part of a herd.

Cantering is just a horse’s way of not trotting.

Cantering is just a horse’s way of not trotting.

What do you get when you cross a horse with a skunk_ Winnie the Pooh!

What do you get when you cross a horse with a skunk? Winnie the Pooh!

Always in a stable state of mind.

Always in a stable state of mind.

Why don't horses like fast food_ It’s not in their feed

Why don’t horses like fast food? It’s not in their feed.

Saddle be the day when I run out of horse puns

Saddle be the day when I run out of horse puns.

What did the horse say when it tripped_ _Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy-up!

What did the horse say when it tripped? “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy-up!”

My horse’s mane is his crowning glory.

My horse’s mane is his crowning glory.

What's a horse's favorite kind of story_ A fairy tail!

What’s a horse’s favorite kind of story? A fairy tail!

Let’s not put the cart before the horse.

Let’s not put the cart before the horse.

Why was the horse always so neat_ Because it was a thoroughbred

Why was the horse always so neat? Because it was a thoroughbred.

Keep calm and canter on.

Keep calm and canter on.

Written by Gabriel Cruz - Foodie, Animal Lover, Slang & Language Enthusiast

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