Kite Puns and Jokes

I'm not just flying a kite, I'm giving it a whole tour of the sky!

I’m not just flying a kite, I’m giving it a whole tour of the sky!

Why don't kites get lost_ They always know how to wind their way back!

Why don’t kites get lost? They always know how to wind their way back!

Kites_ the original social climbers

Kites: the original social climbers.

What's a kite's favorite type of music_ String quartets!

What’s a kite’s favorite type of music? String quartets!

That kite’s performance is really elevating the event.

That kite’s performance is really elevating the event.

How do you organize a kite party_ You plan a _fly-by

How do you organize a kite party? You plan a “fly-by.”

When kites go to school, they excel in drafting.

When kites go to school, they excel in drafting.

Why was the kite so good at school_ It really knew how to soar on tests!

Why was the kite so good at school? It really knew how to soar on tests!

Kite flying is the only time when getting tangled up is part of the fun!

Kite flying is the only time when getting tangled up is part of the fun!

What do kites eat for snack_ Wind chips!

What do kites eat for snack? Wind chips!

I bought a new kite, and it’s already paying dividends. It’s a real stock-riser!

I bought a new kite, and it’s already paying dividends. It’s a real stock-riser!

Why did the kite go to therapy_ It had too many hang-ups!

Why did the kite go to therapy? It had too many hang-ups!

Kite enthusiasts aren’t boring, they just like to hang around

Kite enthusiasts aren’t boring, they just like to hang around.

What did one kite say to the other during a storm_ _Hang on, it’s just a phase!

What did one kite say to the other during a storm? “Hang on, it’s just a phase!”

Kites in the park_ nature’s own streaming service

Kites in the park: nature’s own streaming service.

What's a kite’s favorite sport_ Air hockey!

What’s a kite’s favorite sport? Air hockey!

Your kite flying skills are overhead and beyond!

“Your kite flying skills are overhead and beyond!”

Why did the kite apply for a job_ It wanted to be upwardly mobile!

Why did the kite apply for a job? It wanted to be upwardly mobile!

Flying kites is a breeze.

Flying kites is a breeze.

How did the little kite learn to fly_ It went to high school!

How did the little kite learn to fly? It went to high school!

I got my kite tangled, but I'm not stringing along any complaints

I got my kite tangled, but I’m not stringing along any complaints.

Why don’t secret agents fly kites_ Because they get blown away!

Why don’t secret agents fly kites? Because they get blown away!

A kite's favorite dance move_ The windmill

A kite’s favorite dance move? The windmill.

What do you call a well-dressed kite_ Fly fashion!

What do you call a well-dressed kite? Fly fashion!

They know how to make connections.

Always trust a kite designer. They know how to make connections.

How do kites like to celebrate_ They throw a blowout party!

How do kites like to celebrate? They throw a blowout party!

Kites_ the uplifting side of wind power

Kites: the uplifting side of wind power.

What's a kite's least favorite weather_ A no-wind situation!

What’s a kite’s least favorite weather? A no-wind situation!

When kites go bad, they really blow it.

When kites go bad, they really blow it.

Why was the kite a great motivational speaker_ It was uplifting!

Why was the kite a great motivational speaker? It was uplifting!

Don’t be too up-tight, just go fly a kite!

Don’t be too up-tight, just go fly a kite!

How do kites greet each other_ _What’s up!

How do kites greet each other? “What’s up!”

Why was the kite book so popular_ It had a twist at every turn

Why was the kite book so popular? It had a twist at every turn.

Why did the kite win an award_ For outstanding performance in the field!

Why did the kite win an award? For outstanding performance in the field!

A kite flyer’s life is always on the line

A kite flyer’s life is always on the line.

What do you get if you cross a kite with a dog_ A wind terrier!

What do you get if you cross a kite with a dog? A wind terrier!

That’s an exclusive kite club, members only. They’re very picky about who they let string along

That’s an exclusive kite club, members only. They’re very picky about who they let string along.

Why did the kite make a good detective_ It always got the scoop on the wind!

Why did the kite make a good detective? It always got the scoop on the wind!

Watching kites is like a reel exciting movie.

Watching kites is like a reel exciting movie.

How do you know when a kite is mad_ It flies off the handle!

How do you know when a kite is mad? It flies off the handle!

Kites are great comedians; they always know how to pull your string

Kites are great comedians; they always know how to pull your string.

What's a kite’s life philosophy_ Go fly a kite!

What’s a kite’s life philosophy? Go fly a kite!

If you want to be a kite, you’ve got to wing it

If you want to be a kite, you’ve got to wing it.

How did the kite lose weight_ It cut the string cheese from its diet!

How did the kite lose weight? It cut the string cheese from its diet!

Don’t let anyone string you along unless it’s a kite.

Don’t let anyone string you along unless it’s a kite.

What's a kite’s favorite movie_ _Gone with the Wind!

What’s a kite’s favorite movie? “Gone with the Wind!”

Kites love windy days; they find them quite en-thrilling

Kites love windy days; they find them quite en-thrilling.

Why are kites great at giving advice_ They always help you get over your troubles!

Why are kites great at giving advice? They always help you get over your troubles!

The problem with kite festivals_ Too much baggage!

The problem with kite festivals? Too much baggage!

What do kites wear to weddings_ Bow-ties!

What do kites wear to weddings? Bow-ties!

What do you call a kite that can pick up heavy weights_ A power-lifter!

What do you call a kite that can pick up heavy weights? A power-lifter!

Why don't kites play hide and seek_ Because they always stand out!

Why don’t kites play hide and seek? Because they always stand out!

How do kites make decisions_ They flip in the air!

How do kites make decisions? They flip in the air!

Why was the kite late_ It was swept away!

Why was the kite late? It was swept away!

What's a kite’s favorite day of the week_ Fly-day!

What’s a kite’s favorite day of the week? Fly-day!

Why did the kite break up with its partner_ It needed more space to fly!

Why did the kite break up with its partner? It needed more space to fly!

How do kites stay healthy_ By keeping tension in their lives!

How do kites stay healthy? By keeping tension in their lives!

What did the kite say to the windy day_ _You lift me up!

What did the kite say to the windy day? “You lift me up!”

How do kites stay informed_ They keep up with the airwaves!

How do kites stay informed? They keep up with the airwaves!

Why did the kite stop moving_ It had too much on its plate!

Why did the kite stop moving? It had too much on its plate!

What do you call an old kite_ High flyer!

What do you call an old kite? High flyer!

How do kites avoid sunburn_ They always wear sun-screen!

How do kites avoid sunburn? They always wear sun-screen!

What do kites do when they're not flying_ They hang around!

What do kites do when they’re not flying? They hang around!

Why did the kite join a band_ It wanted to hit the high notes!

Why did the kite join a band? It wanted to hit the high notes!

How do you describe a kite that doesn't fly well_ Groundbreaking!

How do you describe a kite that doesn’t fly well? Groundbreaking!

What do kites do on a calm day_ They take a day off!

What do kites do on a calm day? They take a day off!

Why did the kite go to the bar_ To get a _breezer

Why did the kite go to the bar? To get a “breezer.”

What do you call a fearless kite_ A high-flyer!

What do you call a fearless kite? A high-flyer!

How do you catch a sneaky kite_ You sneak up on it!

How do you catch a sneaky kite? You sneak up on it!

Why did the kite go to school_ To learn about higher education!

Why did the kite go to school? To learn about higher education!

What's a kite's favorite game_ Catch my drift!

What’s a kite’s favorite game? Catch my drift!

How do kites keep their shape_ With a lot of _frame_ training!

How do kites keep their shape? With a lot of “frame” training!

Why did the kite sit in the corner_ It had too much altitude!

Why did the kite sit in the corner? It had too much altitude!

How do kites talk to each other_ They use _air-mail

How do kites talk to each other? They use “air-mail.”

Why did the kite stop working_ It decided to take a _breeze_ day!

Why did the kite stop working? It decided to take a “breeze” day!

The kite’s favorite place to relax_ The hang out zone

The kite’s favorite place to relax? The hang out zone.

I have a kite that tells jokes; it's a real show-flyer

I have a kite that tells jokes; it’s a real show-flyer.

Kites do great in history; they really know the high points

Kites do great in history; they really know the high points.

Keep your friends close and your kite string closer

Keep your friends close and your kite string closer.

When kites break, it’s a tangle web we weave.

When kites break, it’s a tangle web we weave.

Kite flying is not for the faint of heart; it's for the height of heart

Kite flying is not for the faint of heart; it’s for the height of heart.

Kite flying is the only acceptable form of air traffic.

Kite flying is the only acceptable form of air traffic.

What’s a kite’s favorite snack_ Wind pies

What’s a kite’s favorite snack? Wind pies.

How do kites like to relax_ By having a wind-down

How do kites like to relax? By having a wind-down.

Why are kites so good at poker_ They always know when to hold 'em and fold 'em

Why are kites so good at poker? They always know when to hold ’em and fold ’em.

I like my kites like I like my jokes—a breath of fresh air

I like my kites like I like my jokes—a breath of fresh air.

When a kite flies too high, it's just overachieving

When a kite flies too high, it’s just overachieving.

Every kite flyer is secretly a string theorist

Every kite flyer is secretly a string theorist.

Kite flyers don’t get lost; they just take a different air-path

Kite flyers don’t get lost; they just take a different air-path.

Air today, gone tomorrow—that’s the life of a kite

Air today, gone tomorrow—that’s the life of a kite.

Kite flyers have their heads in the clouds—literally

Kite flyers have their heads in the clouds—literally.

What do you call a group of kites_ A flutter

What do you call a group of kites? A flutter.

When it comes to flying kites, I've really mastered the draft

When it comes to flying kites, I’ve really mastered the draft.

If your kite doesn't fly, maybe it just needs a pep wind

If your kite doesn’t fly, maybe it just needs a pep wind.

The kite’s favorite place to relax_ The hang out zone

The kite’s favorite place to relax? The hang out zone.

Kites_ because skywriting is too mainstream

Kites: because skywriting is too mainstream.

A kite flyer’s life is always on the line

A kite flyer’s life is always on the line.

That’s an exclusive kite club, members only. They’re very picky about who they let string along

That’s an exclusive kite club, members only. They’re very picky about who they let string along.

Don’t be too up-tight, just go fly a kite!

Don’t be too up-tight, just go fly a kite!

Flying kites is a breeze.

Flying kites is a breeze.

Written by Gabriel Cruz - Foodie, Animal Lover, Slang & Language Enthusiast

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