Why did the mermaid look the other way? Because the sea weed!
It’s not always easy being a mermaid—you’ve got a lot on your tide.
What kind of phone does a mermaid use? A shell phone!
Mermaids know best when something fishy is going on.
How do mermaids wash their tails? They use tide!
Always seas the day, especially if you’re a mermaid!
Why did the mermaid sit on a clam? Because she wanted a better perch!
Mermaids are quite the catch in the social sea-ne.
Why do mermaids always know how much they weigh? They have their own scales!
I shore love hanging out with mermaids!
What do you call a mermaid on a roof? An ariel!
We should scale back on these mermaid puns, don’t want to flounder.
What kind of money do mermaids use? Sand dollars!
Mermaids really know how to make waves.
What’s a mermaid’s favorite TV show? Whale of Fortune!
I have no-fin but respect for mermaids!
How do mermaids send mail? By sea-mail!
Never get into an argument with a mermaid—they never clam up.
What does a mermaid wear to math class? An algae-bra!
Mermaids don’t avoid seaweed, they see it as an op-porpoise-tunity.
Why don’t mermaids play soccer? They’re afraid of nets!
Always keep a mermaid around; they’re great for mermories.
What do you call a mermaid with a top hat and cane? Fancy fish!
Mermaids are always in tune because they can scale up and down.
How do mermaids make friends? They sea and be seen!
They have a real knack for krilling the competition.
What’s a mermaid’s favorite song? Anything by Sheryl Crowfish!
Can’t trust a mermaid’s promise, they might flip-flop.
How did the mermaid get to Atlantis? She scalloped there!
Mermaids are great at ocean puns—it’s their primary porpoise.
Why did the mermaid refuse tea? She preferred seaweed tea!
When it comes to dating, mermaids don’t dive into relationships.
What exercise do mermaids love? Swimming laps!
Keep clam and mermaid on!
What did the sea say to the mermaid? Nothing, it just waved!
Don’t invite a shark and a mermaid to the same party, it could be fintastrophically awkward.
Why did the mermaid draw her number on the ocean floor? She wanted a sand digit!
Mermaids often get a round of sand-applause for their beach performances.
How do mermaids keep their hair looking good? They use a sea-tangle brush!
Always stream responsibly if a mermaid is watching.
Why don’t mermaids play basketball? They’re afraid of the net!
What is a mermaid’s favorite vegetable? Sea cucumbers!
That mermaid has a splashing personality!
Why did the mermaid eat oysters? She needed more pearls of wisdom!
They’re so-fish-ticated creatures, these mermaids.
What do mermaids eat for dessert? Octo-pie!
Life as a mermaid? You’ve got to learn to go with the float.
What do you call a mermaid that can fly? An air-maid!
Mermaids make the best secret keepers; they’re great at keeping things under the sea.
Why do mermaids love school? For the algae-bra class!
What’s a mermaid’s favorite place to eat? At a dive bar!
What did the mermaid do at the disco? She shell-shocked everyone!
Dating a mermaid? It’s a reel relationship.
Why did the mermaid carry an umbrella? Because of the waterspouts!
Mermaids spend all their money on shell-phones.
What is a mermaid’s favorite game? Fish and Ships!
They’re great at krilling it at parties!
Why was the mermaid a good musician? She knew her scales well!
If a mermaid has a yard sale, it’s always a bit fishy.
How do you ask a mermaid out? “Can I sea you tonight?”
When mermaids write letters, they use seal-script.
What do you call a mermaid’s daily journal? A deep-diary!
Do mermaids smoke seaweed?
What did the mermaid wear to her wedding? A water lily in her hair!
You can’t trust a mermaid in a choir; they always sea-sharp.
Why do mermaids use seashells? Because b-shells are too small and d-shells are too big!
Where do mermaids sleep? On water beds!
What’s a mermaid’s favorite place at school? The dive-in!
My mermaid friend is a real treasure, but she can be a bit shellfish.
Why are mermaids good at math? Because they like to play with octopi!
Mermaids don’t watch TV, they stream their favorite shows.
What did the mermaid snack on? Ship and dip!
If you play music for mermaids, make sure it’s something catchy!
What’s a mermaid’s favorite instrument? The clam-pet!
A mermaid broke up with her boyfriend because he was a real beach.
Why did the mermaid sit on the seaweed? To keep her kelp cool!
I asked a mermaid why they collect shells, she said it’s a shore thing.
What do mermaids sleep on? Water beds!
Mermaids don’t get grounded, they get beached.
How do mermaids keep up with current events? They read the “Current News.”
Mermaids don’t get dressed, they just get tide up.
Why don’t mermaids look good in photographs? Because they’re always a little bit fishy!
They’re always up to scale with the latest in fintech.
What do mermaids wear to formal events? An evening eel!
When a mermaid gets scared, she calls her mummy-wraps.
What’s a mermaid’s least favorite chore? Cleaning her aqua-room!
Mermaids don’t go online, they surf the net.
Why did the mermaid refuse to play cards? Because the whales were dealing!
What do you call a mermaid on a skateboard? A street surfer.
How do mermaids stay healthy? Vitamin sea!
Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because b-shells are too small!
What is a mermaid’s favorite dance? The tailspin!
I met a mermaid who could run, she was a myth in motion.
Why did the mermaid stop at the sandbank? She needed to make a deposit!
A mermaid’s favorite ice cream? Sandy swirls!
What beauty product do mermaids swear by? Salt water!
What do you call a fashionable mermaid? A fishionista.
Why do young mermaids play hide and seek? Because old mermaids can’t sea well!
Why don’t mermaids play cards in the ocean? Because the fish might see the kingfish.