100 Monday Jokes to Kickstart Your Week with Laughter

Mondays often arrive with a sense of heaviness as the freedom of the weekend fades into the rearview mirror. The alarm clock buzzes a little louder, the coffee seems to take longer to brew, and the traffic is just the worst. But what if we could change that narrative? What if Mondays became synonymous with laughter, joy, and anticipation? Welcome to “100 Monday Jokes to Kickstart Your Week with Laughter,” where we flip the script on the week’s most infamous day.

This blog is your antidote to the Monday blues. We believe that laughter is a powerful tool to tackle the dread of the start of a new workweek. Here, you’ll find a carefully curated list of jokes that’ll not only put a smile on your face but also arm you with a quiver of quips to share around the water cooler or in your morning meeting. From puns that make you groan to one-liners that will have you chuckling all the way to lunchtime, there’s something here for every sense of humor.

We scoured every corner of the joke universe to bring you a mix of playful, witty, and downright silly Monday jokes to lighten your load and brighten your mood. So, pour yourself a cup of ambition, and let’s get ready to giggle our way through Monday together. After all, a day laughed through is a day beautifully conquered. Let’s make Monday the day we look forward to for a roaring good time.

1. Why did Monday apply for a job? It wanted to make a week start.
2. Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.
3. How does Monday coffee introduce itself to Friday coffee? “Mocha nice to meet you!”
4. What’s the best thing about Monday? Only four more days until Friday!
5. I named my dog “Monday.” Now I can say I’ve trained Monday to be less rough.
6. Why did the tomato turn red on Monday? Because it saw the salad dressing and thought the weekend was over too soon!
7. If Sunday is the “rest day,” does that make Monday the “rust day” since everything starts to grind again?
8. How do you know it’s Monday? Even my Siri asks for a day off.
9. What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? Retired.
10. Mondays are like pictures of Nicolas Cage; they show up where you least expect them.
11. Why did the scarecrow hate Mondays? Because it always marked the beginning of another straw-full week.
12. Why did the computer get cold on Monday? It left its Windows open.
13. If Monday had a face, I would give it a good morning coffee to make it more bearable.
14. Mondays are the start of the workweek which offer new beginnings 52 times a year!
15. Why are Mondays like gossips? They both spread too quickly and are hard to get over.
16. What’s the Monday motto? “Now serving coffee number 36524.”
17. Why was the calendar nervous on Monday? It had a date.
18. Monday is a sneaky day; it comes around when you’re least expecting it and steals your weekend!
19. Why do we never tell secrets on a Monday? Because they’ll drag on the whole week.
20. How did the basketball court get wet? The players dribbled all over it on Monday morning practice.
21. Monday is like a silent alarm; you know it’s loud, but you can’t hear it coming.
22. Why did the book join the gym on Monday? To become a hardcover.
23. What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to work on Mondays? Grumpy dust!
24. Monday’s favorite exercise? The eye roll.
25. Why don’t we break up with Monday? It’s not Monday, it’s us.
26. I tried to catch some fog on Monday. I mist.
27. What’s Monday’s favorite genre of music? Anything but the blues!
28. Monday is the day when my coffee needs a coffee.
29. Why did the chicken cross the road on Monday? To get away from the weekly meeting.
30. How did Monday become a superhero? By swooping in at the last second and saving the workweek!
31. If Monday was a movie, it’d definitely be a very long documentary about alarm clocks.
32. I asked Monday if it had a date, and it said, “Yes, but it’s next week.”
33. Monday has a joke for you, but it’ll take the whole week to get it.
34. Why is Monday like a laundry day? You always end up separating the whites from the weekend.
35. What’s Monday’s favorite ice cream flavor? Work-a-lot-chip.
36. Why did Monday break up with the weekend? It just needed some “me” time.
37. Why did Monday go to school? To become brighter than Sunday.
38. If Monday were a beverage, it would be a strong, bitter coffee that takes until Friday to finish.
39. How did Monday become rich? By cornering the market on alarm clocks.
40. What’s the difference between a piranha and Monday? One stops biting after a while.
41. How do you beat Monday blues? With a bat of laughter.
42. What did Monday say to the procrastinator? “I’ll see you later…like always.”
43. What’s Monday’s favorite expression? “Back to the grind!”
44. Monday is the day my alarm clock earns its keep.
45. If Monday were a haircut, it would be the mullet: all business in the front.
46. Why did Monday go to therapy? Because it had a “weak” end.
47. Why is Monday like a green light? Because you can’t stop when it turns on.
48. Why was Monday always picked first in sports? Because it always gets the ball rolling.
49. Why is a magician’s hat like Monday? You never know what’s going to come out of it.
50. How did Monday become a math genius? It always adds to the week and subtracts from the weekend.
51. Monday is the day my coffee is like a solar eclipse – too dark to look at without protection.
52. Why did Monday take a selfie? To make sure it wasn’t just a bad dream.
53. Why is Monday like a treadmill? It’s always running but never gets to the weekend.
54. If Monday were a movie, it’d be “Groundhog Day” – you relive it every week!
55. Why did the week start dieting on Monday? To try and lose a weekend.
56. Mondays are like broken pencils – pointless, but you still have to go through them.
57. What’s Monday’s favorite saying? “Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
58. Why did Monday join a band? Because it has a great “beat” to start the week.
59. Why did Monday go to the bank? To cash in on all the groans and moans.
60. What’s Monday’s favorite hobby? Knitting time together to make the weekend seem far away.
61. Mondays are like a good drama – full of tears and coffee spills.
62. Why did Monday get a ticket? It came too fast after Sunday.
63. Why is Monday like an echo? It keeps repeating the same routine.
64. How does Monday stay in shape? By running down everyone’s spirits.
65. Monday is like a math test – many problems and not enough solutions.
66. Why do we tell secrets on Monday? So the rest of the week will unfold.
67. How is Monday like a dentist appointment? You dread it but know you have to face it eventually.
68. Monday’s favorite food? Anything that’s served with a side of dread.
69. Why is Monday like a judge? It sentences you to a week of work.
70. Why did Monday swipe right on Sunday? It couldn’t resist the weekend vibe.
71. If Monday were a person, it would be the one who always reminds the teacher about homework.
72. How does Monday cure amnesia? It gives you a rude awakening.
73. Why is Monday like a lightning bolt? It’s shocking and shows up uninvited.
74. What’s Monday’s advice? “Don’t worry, Friday is just five days away!”
75. How did Monday break the ice at the party? By chilling everyone’s mood.
76. Monday is the day when your bed is like quicksand – easy to fall into, hard to get out of.
77. If Monday were a sport, it’d be a marathon: long, challenging, and rewarding at the end.
78. Why did Monday get promoted? It always shows up no matter what.
79. How is Monday like a dentist? It’s painful but necessary.
80. Why did Monday get a gold medal? For outstanding performance in the wake-up call event.
81. How is Monday like a hair in soup? Unwelcome and hard to ignore.
82. Why did the ghost work overtime on Monday? To give everyone a spirited start to the week.
83. If Monday had a slogan, it would be “Putting the ‘moan’ in ‘morning’.”
84. Why did Monday start a rock band? Because it wanted to make the world turn!
85. How does Monday open a jar? By forcing everyone to give it a twist.
86. Why is Monday like a puzzle? It’s hard to get it all together.
87. Monday is like a yo-yo, it goes down so smoothly, but always comes right back up.
88. How is Monday like a good book? It starts a new chapter every week.
89. Why is Monday like an old video game? It’s all about getting to the next level (the weekend).
90. Why did Monday join the tea party? It needed to mellow out after causing so much stress.
91. Monday is like a squiggle in your calendar – you just can’t straighten it out.
92. Why did Monday get into a fight with Friday? It was jealous of the “TGIF” fame.
93. How is Monday like a superhero? It has the power to make everyone look forward to its departure.
94. Why is Monday like a lost sock? It always turns up when you’re not looking for it.
95. Monday’s favorite dance move? The drag-your-feet shuffle.
96. What did Monday say to the procrastinator? “I’m not going anywhere, so let’s get started!”
97. Why did Monday get a PhD? Because it’s a master of the workweek.
98. If Monday was a spice, it would be flour – essential but plain.
99. How does Monday break the bad news? By saying, “You’ve got the whole week ahead of you!”
100. Monday’s favorite pastime? Reminding everyone how far away the next weekend is.