Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? They’ll just wash up on shore later!
Are you a pirate? Because you’ve got my heart on lockdown.
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You might think it’s R, but it be the C they love!
Eye patches are quite a sight in the pirate fashion world.
Why did nobody want to play cards with the pirate? Because he was standing on the deck!
It’s not easy to get into pirate school, they have high sea standards.
How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook? An arm and a leg!
Pirates are great singers, they can really hit the high seas.
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of fish? A swordfish, because it comes with its own cutlass!
Life’s pretty good for pirates, they always get to sea the world.
Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck!
What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school? Captain Hooky.
What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? A rookie.
Pirates never take the highway, they always stick to the sea-nic route.
Why did the pirate go to school? To improve his “Arrrr-ticulation.”
Keep calm and say arrrr!
How do pirates prefer to communicate? Aye to aye!
Being a pirate isn’t easy, but it’s a boatload of fun!
What does a pirate wear for Halloween? A pumpkin patch!
Pirates don’t like quiet, they prefer a bit of arrr and arrr!
Why don’t pirates use pocket calculators? Because they can always count on their crew!
Why don’t pirates worry about losing their keys? Because they have a master key to the sea.
How do you save a dying pirate? CPRrrrrr!
Pirates make terrible singers, except when it comes to the high Cs.
What do pirates and penguins have in common? They both can’t fly, and they both look good in tuxedos!
Don’t buy a pirate a shirt, they’ll just rip it to shreds.
Why do pirates make excellent fishermen? They know how to hook the big ones!
What’s a pirate’s favorite element? Arrrrgon.
What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved!
What’s a pirate’s least favorite vegetable? Leeks.
What’s a pirate’s worst nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty!
A pirate’s favorite place to eat? Arrrrby’s.
Why did the pirate refuse to play golf? He kept hooking the ball!
Pirates’ computers have the worst security, all that torrenting.
Why did the pirate sit on the toilet? To get to the bottom of the sea.
A pirate’s favorite mode of transportation? Carrrr.
How do you turn a pirate furious? Take away the p.
What do pirates drive? Boats. It’s the crew’s control.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? “Aye matey!”
Why did the pirate refuse the job offer? The salary wasn’t bountyful enough.
What’s a pirate’s favorite movie genre? Arrr-t and adventure!
Pirates love geometry, especially when studying pi-rates.
What do you get when you cross a pirate with a zucchini? A squashbuckler.
A pirate’s favorite workout? Plank-walking.
How did the pirate find his way back to his ship? He used “Navi-gaaarrr-tion.”
Pirates don’t text, they just send YARRRR-d messages.
Why did the pirate buy an eyepatch? Because he couldn’t afford an iPad!
What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move? The Jolly Roger.
What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a song? The hook!
Why are pirates great knitters? They’re good at following the yarn.
Why do pirates wear eye patches? Because they can’t afford bifocals!
A pirate’s favorite type of market? Flea, because they can barrrrgain.
How do pirates like their eggs? Terri-fryed!
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of fish? A swordfish, because of the point.
What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes? 8 pirates!
Why did the pirate sit on the toilet? He wanted to take care of his booty.
How much do pirates pay for their earrings? A buccaneer!
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music? Anything played on the high seas.
Why was the pirate always in a good mood? Because he had a buoyant personality!
Pirate’s favorite social media? Insta-“gaaarrr”-am.
Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrr!
How do pirates prefer their coffee? Dark with no arrr-tificial sweeteners.
What’s a pirate’s favorite yoga pose? The plank!
Why did the pirate go vegan? To improve his booty.
What do you call a pirate who skips school? Captain Hooky!
Pirate’s favorite workout? The dead lift, because it reminds them of Davy Jones’ locker.
Why did the pirate go to the seafood restaurant? For the fish and ships!
Why do pirates make poor poets? Because their verse is cursed.
What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer? “Shiver me timbers!”
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You might think it’s R, but their true love is the C.
Why did the vegan pirate go back to eating meat? He missed the taste of “Arrr-tichokes.”
What do you call a pirate with two eyes, two hands, and two legs? A rookie.
What do you call a pirate who likes to skip? Captain Bounce.
Why do pirates hate snow? It’s too farrrr from the sea.
Why do pirates carry swords? Because swords can’t carry pirates!
Why do pirates make excellent fishers? They aren’t afraid of the net.
How do pirates prefer their steak? On the rrrrare side.
How do pirates like to communicate? With their ship phones.
What’s a pirate’s favorite aspect of marketing? Branding!
What’s a pirate’s least favorite song? Anything that’s not rated arrrr!
What do you call a pirate with two arms and two legs? A beginner.
Why do pirates wear eye patches? To improve their depth per-sea-ption.
Why do pirates make great singers? They hit the high Cs.
How do pirates avoid getting sick? By taking Vitamin Sea.
What do you call a pirate who steals from the rich and gives to the poor? Robin Hook.
Why did the pirate break up with his girlfriend? She took his gold and sailed away.
Why did the pirate buy a trampoline? He wanted to hit the high seas.
What do you call a pirate who steals from the rich? Robin Hook.
What do you get when you cross a pirate with a robot? Arrr-2-D2.
Why do pirates carry swords? Because swords don’t run out of arrrrmmo.
What does a pirate Santa say? Row row row!
How do pirates prefer their tea? With a splash of the sea.
What kind of grades did the pirate get in school? High seas.
Why did the pirate go to college? To improve his literacy.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey (I’m eighty)!
How do pirates like their steaks? On the barrrrbeque.
Why do pirates never get lost? They follow the stars!
What do pirates use to clean their ships? The deck swabber.
How do pirates like their soup? With plenty of Arrrrrtichokes!
Why do pirates love spring? For the bounty of blooms.