100 Squirrel Jokes: Perfect Puns to Crack You Up

Get ready to go nuts with laughter! Our “100 Squirrel Jokes: Perfect Puns to Crack You Up” is a hilarious collection designed to tickle the funny bones of both the young and the young at heart. Whether you’re scrolling through during a quick coffee break or in need of a chuckle after a long day, these jokes are the perfect little escape into the whimsical world of our bushy-tailed friends.

Squirrels are curious creatures, and it turns out they’re the perfect subjects for a good pun. From their frantic dashes across the park to their acrobatic tree stunts, they inspire laughter just by being their adorable, nutty selves. In this blog, we delve into the lighthearted side of nature with a series of punchy one-liners, clever quips, and adorable anecdotes that are sure to have you sharing them over and over again.

We’ve carefully cultivated a list of chuckles that will ensure you’re never short on a quick comeback or a playful jest. Whether you’re an avid nature lover, a pun connoisseur, or simply someone who enjoys a good laugh, our collection of squirrel jokes is guaranteed to leave you grinning. Each joke is a testament to the playful side of these enchanting woodland critters, and we’re confident that they’ll become a staple in your humor repertoire.

So, embrace the silly, the quirky, and the downright nuttiness as you dive into our treasure trove of squirrel jokes. Get ready to unleash the power of puns, and let’s get cracking!

1. Why don’t squirrels wear skinny jeans? Because their nuts won’t fit!
2. What do you call a squirrel with no nuts? A girl scout who’s lost her cookies!
3. What’s a squirrel’s favorite way to watch a movie? Nutflix and chill.
4. Why was the squirrel late for work? Traffic was nuts!
5. What do you call an old squirrel? A nutcracker.
6. Why do squirrels swim on their back? To keep their nuts dry!
7. What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.
8. Why did the squirrel take up knitting? To help with his “knut”-ing problem.
9. How do squirrels keep their money safe? They invest in the acorn market.
10. 11. Why couldn’t the squirrel find his way home? Because he lost his mapl-ecorn.
    12. What do you call a squirrel with a PhD? Dr. Acorn, the nutty professor.
    13. Why don’t squirrels wear watches? They say it’s more fun to decide what time it is by the sunflower’s position!
    14. What kind of car does a squirrel drive? An Acorn-vette.
    15. Why don’t squirrels get married? They’re too busy playing the field… of nuts.
    16. How do you catch a rich squirrel? Climb a tree and act like cashew.
    17. What’s a squirrel’s favorite classical composer? Nutzart.
    18. What do you call an adventurous squirrel? An acro-nut.
    19. Why did the squirrel take up acting? He wanted to be a star-nut.
    20. What do you call a squirrel who’s a detective? Sherlock Hol-nuts.
    21. Why are squirrels like stocks? They both have lots of ups and downs.
    22. What’s a squirrel’s favorite dance? The peanut butter jelly time.
    23. What did one squirrel say to the bully? “You’re driving me nuts!”
    24. What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of TV show? A nutty drama.
    25. Why did the squirrel go to space? To visit the Milky Way’s nuts.
    26. Why did the squirrel stop playing cards? Too many cheetahs.
    27. Why are squirrels bad at playing hide and seek? Because they always give away their hiding spots when they walnut stop chattering!
    28. What’s a squirrel’s favorite part of the newspaper? The nut-ices section.
    29. Why did the squirrel refuse to jump? It didn’t want to crack a nut.
    30. What do you call a squirrel with a fan club? A poplar animal.
    31. Why did the squirrel get an award? For being outstanding in his field, literally.
    32. What do you call a squirrel who knows karate? Bruce Lee’s distant cousin, Bruce Nut.
    33. Why are there no secrets in the forest? Because the nuts tell all the trees.
    34. What’s a squirrel’s least favorite weather? When it rains cats and dogs, they prefer when it rains nuts and bolts.
    35. Why did the squirrel cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken.
    36. What does a squirrel shout during a race? “I’m acorn to win this!”
    37. How do squirrels stay in shape? By doing nut-ritious exercise.
    38. What’s a squirrel’s favorite kind of key? A mon-key, to unlock the food stash.
    39. What do you call a squirrel who’s just had a big meal? Stuffed to the brim with acornucopia.
    40. Why did the squirrel take a break? To enjoy some peace and quiet… and a pecan pie.
    41. What’s a squirrel’s favorite kind of math? Acorn-ometry.
    42. What’s a squirrel’s favorite playground equipment? The seesaw… it reminds them of the balance of nature.
    43. What’s a baby squirrel’s favorite fairy tale? Goldilocks and the Three Bears’ nut stash.
    44. What do you call a frozen squirrel? An ice-nut.
    45. What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of music? Nut ‘n roll.
    46. Why was the squirrel so good at basketball? He knew how to make a slam dunk with his nuts.
    47. What’s a squirrel’s dream job? A branch manager.
    48. Why did the squirrel keep laughing? It cracked itself up.
    49. What’s a squirrel’s favorite holiday? New Year’s Eve, because they love to watch the ball drop and pretend it’s a giant nut.
    50. How does a young squirrel say goodbye to his mother? “I’m going out, I’ll cashew later!”What’s a squirrel’s favorite game? Hide and squeak!
    51. What do squirrels do when they get angry? They throw a nutty fit!
    52. What exercise do squirrels hate the most? Nuts-ups.
    53. What do squirrels eat at baseball games? Pitched peanuts.
    54. What do you call a squirrel who can’t make a decision? Indecisive, because he’s always weighing the pros and cons.
    55. How do squirrels keep their fur looking good? They use “nut-rishing” shampoo.
    56. What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of pizza? One with pine-nut-apple topping.
    57. Why don’t squirrels use smartphones? Too many dropped calls when they’re up in the trees.
    58. Why did the squirrel get an “A” in history class? He was great at foraging for historical nuts.
    59. What do you call a squirrel who loves to gossip? A “whispe-nut.”
    60. What’s a squirrel’s favorite party game? Spin the acorn.
    61. Why don’t squirrels have money troubles? Because they stash their cash.
    62. What’s a squirrel’s favorite historical period? The Acorn Age.
    63. Why was the squirrel so good at basketball? He always took the acorn-er shots!
    64. Why do squirrels make terrible secret agents? They always crack under pressure.
    65. What’s a squirrel’s favorite mode of transportation? The nutmobile!
    66. Why was the squirrel so dramatic? He belonged to the Nutting Hill acting troupe.
    67. What do squirrels do with their food? They cache it, not eat it!
    68. How do you describe a rich squirrel? As a million-nut owner.
    69. Why don’t squirrels start businesses? They’re afraid of the overhead.
    70. How do squirrels get to the top floor? By the acorn-lift.
    71. What’s a squirrel’s favorite computer key? The caps-nut-lock.
    72. Why was the squirrel so good at cricket? He was a great bat-nut-man.
    73. Why don’t squirrels like fast food? Because they can’t catch it!
    74. How do you make a squirrel fortune teller laugh? You crack a nutty joke.
    75. Why do squirrels hate going to the movies? The film is always interrupted by paws.
    76. What did the squirrel say to the almond tree? “You drive me nuts!”
    77. How did the squirrel get to the other side of the busy road? By playing leapnut!
    78. Why did the squirrel take up gardening? To plant more nut trees, obviously!
    79. What do you call a squirrel with a cold? A sniffling nutcracker.
    80. Why are squirrels good at playing poker? They love to go nuts with the chips.
    81. What’s a squirrel’s favorite kind of cheese? String cheese, so they can hang it from the trees.
    82. Why do squirrels make bad comedians? They always forget the punchline.
    83. What did the squirrel say after he was caught stealing? “I’m nuts about kleptomania!”
    84. How do you save a drowning squirrel? With a lifesaving nut!
    85. Why was the squirrel so clean? He took a soap-nut shower.
    86. What’s a squirrel’s least favorite word? Nut-thing!
    87. Why did the squirrel sit on the watch? He wanted to be on nut-time.
    88. What’s a squirrel’s favorite pastime? Nut-knitting sweaters for the winter.
    89. What’s a squirrel’s favorite school subject? Geometry, because they love tree angles.
    90. What did the squirrel say to the nut in the road? “Don’t crack under pressure!”
    91. Why are squirrels great musicians? They know how to compose a sympho-nut.
    92. How do squirrels keep secrets? They stash them away in their tree-mail.
    93. What do you call a squirrel with no tail? A nut-erfly!
    94. Why was the squirrel so exhausted? Because he was running around like a nutcase all day.
    95. What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of tea? Nutmeg spice.
    96. Why do squirrels make terrible journalists? They always bury the lead.
    97. What’s a squirrel’s favorite Shakespeare play? “The Taming of the Shrewsbury Nuts.”
    98. What do you call an overly dramatic squirrel? A nut-case.
    99. Why do squirrels like camping? To sleep under the stars and over the nuts.
    100. What did the squirrel say when it forgot its umbrella? “It’s raining nuts and dogs out here!”