What do you give a train conductor for his birthday? Platform shoes!
I’m on the right track now!
Why don’t trains ever get lost? They always follow their tracks.
This train joke is just the ticket.
What’s a train’s favorite drink? Choo Choo Chai!
I choo-choo-choose you!
Why did the train eat its tracks? It was just trying to “choo.”
Train puns always keep me on track.
How do trains hear? Through the engineers.
This job has a lot of loco-motives.
What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train!
Let’s keep this train of thought.
Why did the book join the train? It wanted to follow its storyline.
I feel like I’ve been railroaded.
What do you get if you cross a train with a stick of gum? A chew-chew train.
Is this the fast track to success?
Why did the train car get promoted? It had a lot of freight potential!
Stay on the right side of the tracks.
How do crazy train passengers travel? They take the loco-motive.
I’m all about that train life.
Why was the train always in trouble? It had a bad track record.
Don’t worry, I conduct myself well.
What kind of trains do ballet dancers ride? Tutu trains.
Time to express myself, no local stops!
How do you find a missing train? Follow its tracks.
You keep me on track.
Why was the train so tired? It had too many sleepers.
Let’s not go off the rails here.
What did one train say to the other? “I feel like we’re going off the rails!”
Keep calm and train on.
Why don’t trains work out? They hate to locomote.
I wheel-y love trains!
What do trains wear to sleep? Track pajamas.
Are we on the same track?
Why did the train apply for a job? It wanted to get its career on track.
This is a one-track town.
What did the mother train say to her child? “Watch out or you’ll get derailed.”
You auto-complete my train of thought.
Why was the train invited to the party? It brings a lot of cargo!
I have a one-track mind when it comes to puns.
Why don’t trains use social media? They lose track of time.
That’s loco-motive logic!
What happens when a train gets a cold? It can’t choo!
Don’t let your dreams be derailed.
What’s a train’s favorite instrument? The trombone.
Just rail with it.
Why did the train go to school? To improve its “train-ing.”
Never lose your train of thought.
How do you stop a charging train? Take away its credit card.
It’s a platform for success.
What’s a train’s favorite philosophy? “I think therefore I am track.”
Train yourself to see the good.
Why don’t ghost trains scare people? They can see right through them.
Feeling a freight overwhelmed.
How do trains drink? They chug.
Track down your dreams.
Why are trains never lonely? Because they always follow the conductor.
Let’s keep this train rolling.
Why was the train humming? It couldn’t remember the words!
Full steam ahead!
What kind of train eats too much? A chew-chew train.
This idea has wheels.
What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum? A chew-chew train.
Train puns? You’ve got a full car here.
Why do trains make great detectives? They have a great track record.
This train has left the station!
Why did the train start a blog? It wanted to express itself.
Jumping on the bandwagon.
Why was the electric train late? It couldn’t find its conductor!
This train is a real sleeper.
How do you save a train from drowning? With track-to-track resuscitation.
I’ve got a one-way ticket to fun.
What does a train wear around its neck? A collar engine.
Get on the right track.
Why was the math book at the train station? It was solving for X-press trains.
That’s just how I roll.
What did the old train say? “I’m too old for this track.”
Trains always know the way.
How does a train eat? It goes chew chew.
Let’s steer this conversation back on track.
What’s a train’s favorite place to visit? The stationery store.
Try to derail me? Good luck!
Why did the train bring a pencil? To drawbridge.
I’m just a trainee.
Why did the train use the Internet? To check its site-ings.
Caught up in the locomotion.
What’s a train’s least favorite weather? Rain, it rusts the tracks.
This might be off-track, but…
How do you comfort a train enthusiast? “There, there, it’s just a phase.”
On the right side of the tracks.
Why did the train carry a bandage? For its tracking wounds.
It’s the end of the line for that idea.
Why do trains have a conductor? Because their passengers have a lot of freight!
Don’t station yourself in negativity.
What do you call a train full of toffee? A sticky situation!
Caboose is loose!
How do trains stay informed? They read the rail news.
Sometimes you just have to train hard.
Why did the train bring a ladder? To get over a rough track.
Riding the rails to success.